The wind kicks up as if from nowhere, blowing a cloud of stinging dust and grit into those watching. As the cloud passes, Vandal steps into view, stepping up before the accused, flicking his cigarette butt to the side.
"You stand accused of trollish and annoying behaviour, and the defilement of Vasquez name with the use of the mighty Gir in your avatar. The decision is guilt. Your sentence shall now commence. For this one, we shall be foreced to make a trip through time."
Silver light engulfs the two, and they vanish from the spot (while leaving a nifty viewing portal for audience amusement).
"Our first stop, is pre-history. Yes, that's right, dinosaurs and all that. We've been saving a certain someone to meet one of those being punished, and I believe thisi s the right time for that. This, is Ed."
A 3 story tall reptilian eating machine steps into view, shoving a small tree out of it's way in the process as it swings it's massive head back and forth. Rows of glistening teeth are quite visible, razor sharp and hooked for tearing flesh.
"Now you see, Ed here has some problems. He can't get a woman. Been a few years, and Ed has been getting mighty, shall we say, anxious. Now." Vandal pulls a small metal clip from his pocket and slams it into semper's arm, where it punctures the skin and makes itself irremovable. This handy device is both a visual and pheremonal simulator. So now, to Ed at least, you appear, and small, as if you were a 30 foot tall lizard. Female. In heat. I think I'll eave you two love birds alone now." A small flash of silver light and Vandal was gone.
The flash of light, of course, was enough to get Ed's attention. A massive roar shook the very air around them as the giant beast charged forward, his arousal apparent to everyone who could see. Semper of course, attempted to run as the horny dino came charging down on him. But while he may look like a t-rex, semper sure can't run as fast as one. A slight electric shock cause Semper to pause in his fleeing as his motor controls froze up suddenly. Metal arms shoved up through the ground and lifted he troll into the air, to just the perfect height. Ed, believing himself about to get lucky stepped forward and "grabbed" onto the female t-rex. And did what came naturally. He thrust forward as hard as he could. Clothing ripped, Semper screamed, and an inter-timestream violation of unheard of proportions ensued, with Ed the dinosaur humping at away, at the all too human sized semper's backside now expanded to accomadate an organ the size of a telephone pole, if not larger.
Of course the internal bleeding, cracking of bone, rending of flesh and pulping of internal organs was not quite as bad as the moment in which Ed finally got his dino-groove on, and semper's internal cavities suddenly filled, horribly and violently, with gallons of prehistoric love juice. Unable to breathe, unable to move, semen dripping from his every bodily orifice, Semper dropped heavily to the ground, somehow still alive. Ed stumbled off, heading back to his little clearing to get some rest and smoke a bowl.
A flash of silver light and Vandal appeared, blue smoke curlign up from his ever present cigarette. "Having fun yet are we? Well, we've only a single stop to make on the way home, and then it'll all be over."
Semper, of course, couldn't speak at this time, being able to merely gurgle.
Silver light flashed once more, and the pair were gone. As they reapeared, the scene was indeed much different. It seemed to be a party of some kind. People danced and sang and drank and smoked up all over. Men and women and occasionally men and men and women and women made out in various places. Semper found himself whole once more, though the feeling of the experience was firmly etched into his mind, branded there for all time.
Vandal led him through the house, as he had no choice but to follow, until they came to a closed door. Insidem music could be heard, different from that playing out front, and the smell of weed smoke was quite evedent. The door opened before them, swining wide to admit them. Inside, it was obvious the room waa bedroom, and it was not unoccupied. A man and woman were on the bed, enjoying themselves, though still clothed and all. Occasionally one would glance towards the door, as though they were waiting on someone. Vandal and semper were unseen.
"Now yo usee, these two people? They are both fairly wasted on various drugs and suc at the moment, and are only waiting on a friend before they begin the real fun for the evening. A decent couple of people, the timing was pretty bad on this encounter, and thing didn't work out cosmically as they should. But that's another story. But really though, she does look similar to how se does now 'eh? They both do. Next time you go to dinner, be sure to tell them I said hi." Vandal smiled cheerfully as a second man walked into the room.
The three greeted each other warmly for a few seconds before getting down to business. Cries of horror began bubbling up from Semper as he recognise his parents finally and tried to turn away.
"Sorry old boy, not that easy. In fact." A touch to the small wristwatch-esque device he wore and suddenly the scene froze. Semper found ecould not move at all. A few more touches and semper's conciousness faded out and then back. For some reason he was standing much closer than before. Suddenly it all began moving again, and he realised he was in the middle of the threesome on the bed! He trie to turn away, shut his eyes, run, anything, but he had no control. He soon realised he had been reduced to riding shotgun in the back of the third man's mind, with no hope of control, and no way to turn away.
"Enjoy semper, once it's through you'll be ejected back to the present, until then, merely live through it. Hmm... wow... your mom is rather flexible isn't she?"
Wit that, Semper was left to his predicament as Vandal vanished once more. Eventually, semper reapeared into the present, where Vandal sat back in a la-z-boy watching the show.
"Ah there you are. Hold still."
"Wha-" Semper found his motor controls locked up once more. A pair of cold metal hands grippe his skul in place as a searing pain caused him to scream in agony. A small laser engraver moved about quickly, inscribing the words, "Initiated by the Vandal" on the back of his skull.
"There we are, all finished. Hope you enjoed today's history lesson, 'The Sodomy of Semper Ignavus.' Be excellent to each other."
|