ZOMBIE FORUMS

You did, sort of. It was here

There is every reason to think you're a goddamn retard.

It's late and my brain may be working backwards, but from what I remember of my physics, if you had some sort of personal make-time-pass-more-slowly-for-you field (that is, a field which makes the world around you seem, to you, to move move slowly, and thus make you seem to move more quickly to the rest of the world), it would have the corresponding effect of making gravity seem less to you as well. You'd have to move very slowly and carefully to "walk" in hypertime mode; you'd tend to bounce off the floor like in low-G.

This would allow time-fuging ninjas to both leap great heights, and to fall gently from those heights. Although... that's all only assuming that whatever the effect they're using, it also seems to negate the increased inertia they'd have from this effect; otherwise it'd be *really hard* to slowly push off the floor for a great leap, like lifting a heavy weight; but once you got the motion started and were in the air, the leap would be slow and gentle. But if you didn't catch yourself and use enough muscle strength to slow your descent at the end of the leap (assuming you're just leaping up and back down again), then you'd continue the downward motion and crush your legs or something. That is to say, without some kind of inertia-dampening effect, a time-dialating effect would require exactly the same amount of strength to do the same motions; you'd just perceive them happening more slowly. Like being more massive in a lighter gravity field.

Of course, proper temporal dilation like that would also tend to make you very cold, since the particles in the rest of the world are moving very slowly compared to yours, and thus would seem very cold to you; though your increased friction with the air from such quick movement might counteract that - or compound it as a wind chill factor. And you would start to see ultraviolet light as as blue light, and everything else red-shifted, and red things would become black... sounds would be doppler-shifted as well, pitches would become lower, hypersonic sounds would become audible and low-pitched sounds inaudible. In general it'd fuck with your senses a lot. Then again, the Durus Flamma already does that, so maybe they can cope with such effects, if they exist in their type of time dilation.

Also... if the time-dilation effect encompasses any of the air surrounding the time ninja, that air will be comparatively higher pressure than the air around it (for the same reason it is comparatively warmer), and thus the area inside the dilation field would tend to become vacuum. Heck, that would still be a problem even if the field was skin-tight. Either way, you suck vacuum.

Uh... long story short, Warrel can probably jump down from there at what seems like normal falling speed to Jon, but is slow and gentle to himself. And lots of other weird shit that doesn't matter because it's magic. Just smile and nod.

No catgirls were harmed in the making of this post.

You so lie...I saw at least three die as a result of your verbage. I WANT THEM BACK!

Hmmm . . . reminds me of that classic Joel Grey turn as a martial arts master in Remo Williams. How do you run across water? "First, you have to run very, very fast!"

Not really :)



Actually, flat on your back is not a bad way to fall. It distributes the energy of the fall across a wider surface. If he had, say, landed with an arm out, he probably would have broken the arm.
In fact, the techniques they teach over at Fort Bragg would be the PLF. Land on your feet and roll to distribute the shock so you don't break an ankle.



Doubt it. The fall can't be more then 8-10 feet. Consider he hit, grabbed and slipped, his momentum from bar to floor is all that would affect his back. The distance from platform to wall doesn't seem far enough to do much more then hurt a bit from trying to grab on.

Landing evenly on his back would save him from serious bone fractures. He didn't land in an awkward position, so the joints are all safe. What gets screwed are the soft organs. I say Jon's got a ruptured spleen, and is bleeding internally. If he isn't wearing plot armor, a little healing magic will save him easy enough.

does it matter if he fratured his back? it's not like he dosn't have an elf ehaler floating around anyway!

Well, what does he need to win this battle? Besides a lot of luck, that is. If he can take out Warrel, then he's got plenty of time to get healed afterwards. But if he's hurt bad enough to hurt his chances in battle, he'll never get a chance to get magically healed.

As near as I can tell, the plan is to lie on his back, and fire a shot into the air when Warrel jumps off the platform. If that doesn't work, pray that Sarine gets him.

So, what does Jon need for that? He needs his right arm to be in perfect shape, and he needs not to have taken any head damage that would disrupt his vision or concentration. It would also be good if he hasn't taken any organ damage to the heart, lungs, or diaphragm as that would interfere with oxygen flow to the brain.

There are lots of other vital organs that could kill you tomorrow, but they wouldn't stop you within 5 minutes. So we've got a short list: head, 1 arm, lungs, diaphragm. Easiest thing to disrupt would be the diaphragm.

That means the real question is, would falling on your back like that damage your diaphragm at all? I'm inclined to say no. It looks like Jon managed to keep his head from cracking into the ground, so he should be set to fire off his ambush shot.

Well, I've never performed necromancy on a catgirl before, but I'm willing to give it a shot...

A dead catgirl is good too.

Gee, let's not hide our true feelings, shall we?

"Wraps Harley-Davidson primary chain around fist, cog side out.*

Feeling a bit frisky are we? I haven't had much excersize lately, bring it on ... Sonny!

A towel. Don't forget your towel. You'll need it!

I think that Jon made this emergency plan up before he got into position. Meaning he's not going to rely on Sarine showing up, since he couldn't know that she'd be around when he made up the plan.
How about some thumbtacks he's going to spread at the position where Warrel is going to hit the ground? Well, maybe slightly larger than thumbtacks, but you get the idea.

It should probably be noted that this fight scene is pretty much the very first thing that I scripted out involving the Ensigerum. In fact, except for Sara (who was created technically long before I came up with ES, around the same time I created the early proto Gewehr Wraiths and the proto Jon) it was when I made them in the first place.

Now the thing is, since then, Jon and the other Wraiths have been rather depowered. They started out as, for all intents and purposes, anime style ninjas with firearms... all the stupid high jumping, super speed, and impossible trick shooting included. Hell, Jon's original preES concept was basically Kenshin with a handgun. I had even planned out several scenes where he would fight in melee range, parrying swords and such by shooting their blades.

That all later went bye-bye, of course.

Meanwhile, the Ensigerum actually got powered up going from transparent Jedi clones, only without the ill- conceived, conflicting black and white moral system, to... um, transparent Jedi clones, without the ill-conceived, conflicting black and white moral system, who can manipulate time.

Also there were more video game rpg references and 4th wall breaking jokes in the earlier versions of the story.

So this has all affected the original fight scene quite a bit and accounts for what will be some of the poorer moments of it as I tried the leave it intact as possible while updating it for the newer versions of the characters.

In the original, Ellis wasn't gagged, and instead of disappearing after Warrel first reveals himself, Sarine stays up in the rafters while Jon, instead of wanting to immediately escape knowing he was outclassed, tells Sarine to stay there and then jumps down, doing an anime-ish wall jump on the way down while shooting at Warrel. Warrel stops all the bullets with his spear (cut to Sarine and Ellis watching up in the rafters for a panel so Ellis can make a joke blatantly stolen from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) then goes to attack Jon... which eventually brings us to pretty much same point as the last panel of this Friday's comic.

Hrm, I don't know which version I would have... One one hand, amazing fight scenes that put the matrix to shame...

...On the other hand, Ellis in a ballgag, and Jon calling the monk a magic-using tool.

Yeah, glad you worked on that script Poe.

Just for shits and giggles, could someone please draw the original version as a filler page? Frankly I found those sorts of things to be quite endearing when I first started reading Exploitation Now... as a matter of fact, those bits of humorous goofballery are one of the main reasons I continued reading Poe's work! Recently however, everything has been so serious I sometimes find it depressing. Oh well... Cest' La Vie' what will be will be...

As Tossrock walks away, completely oblivious to what is about to happen to him, the Slamlander takes a few quick paces forward and leaps, landing both size ten Elk skin boots in the small of Tossrock's back, pushing him forward and out of balance.

As he falls into the brick wall in front of him, Slamlander hits him in the back of the head with his chain-wrapped hand, dazing him. He then feels intense pain as he is struck again in the kidneys.

Slam then grabs him by the left shoulder and spins him around, landing another hit on the bridge of his nose, shattering the cartilege, and causes more intense pain. Of course, by this time the pain receptors have over loaded and his brain is failing to process properly. But just to make sure, Slam puts all his power into driving his fist at full speed into Tossrock's solar plexus, compressing his diaphram, and driving all the air out of his lungs. Not giving him time to recover, Slam lays in another one to the left side of his rib cage, while bracing him against the wall to keep him from collapsing.

This is all Tossrock can handle and he slides down the wall as he losses control of his legs. Slam keeps his torso upright as Tossrock slides down the wall, gasping for air. Slam then wraps left hand around Tossrock's throat with his thumb over the carotid and his index finger over the jugular, applying controlled pressure.

"Hey, sonny boy, are you awake in there?"

Seeing a dim flickering of conscousness mixed with pain and surprise Slam continues, "My left hand is capable of playing hard rock and blues guitar rythms for six straight sets, pinching off the blood flow to what passes for your brain would be trivial. Are you listening to me boy?"

Slam, not so gently bangs Tossrock's head against the wall behind him, "You seem to be one of those assholes that think that being a jerk on the Internet is some sort of cool thing. In reality, it's nothing but a poor excuse for a complete and total lack of imagination."

"Now, I don't know anything about initiations or the like but it seems to me like you need many of them, just to keep you properly humble before your betters. It seems to me that you are the one that's 'god damn retarded', wouldn't you agree? In fact, none of your posts have value." Slam then forces Tossrock to nod his head.

"I don't know you, this is a good thing, but I have seen you be nothing but an ass here. You've been lucky, until now. Oh yeah, I don't believe in fair warnings or even breaks but I guess that even your little pea-brain must've figured that out by now. Say 'good night, gracie'."

With that, Slam forward punches Tossrock in the forehead with his chain wrapped hand, driving the cogs through the skin, bashing the back ofhis head into the wall, and knocking him out. He then pinches off the blood flow for another 20 seconds to make sure that Tossrock stays unconscious for another 20 minutes. When he lets go of Tossrock's throat, Tossrock collapses and Slam lays him out so his diaphram is free to work, staying only long anough to make sure that Tossrock's still breathing. Tossrock is bleeding profusly from the chain marks on his forehead.

Slamlander slowly gets up, wraps the chain back around his waist, walks back to his bike and rides off down the street before the LEOs show up.

Dead catgirls don't say no.

Aw, did I hit a nerve? Did Daddy say you were stupid while he beat you? Poor little Slamlander, working so hard to do prove him wrong, to make him <i>proud</i>. I'm sorry, I should have known you were both emotionally insecure AND retarded (Double posting to respond to one post, and then... I'm not sure, trying to initiate me? Here's a hint, you can't initiate people with more posts and an older join date than you). I'll be more considerate in the future.

Actually, I was trying to be a bit more creative than simply telling you that you are a shithead, asshole. Now that you outted yourself, I'll be more blunt in the future. No, it wasn't an initiation. I don't give a holy fuck about initiations or their stupid rules.

Okay, you started posting here when you were two. That doesn't mean shit, asswipe. You want to make this a real knock-down drag out then I will be happy to accomodate.

You are a jerk, your posts have zilch content and next to you a fencepost looks like Einstein. I went over most of your 1155 posts. I only counted three with real content. The rest might never have been made and everyone would have been better off if you'd just been a lurker. So, you don't have more real posts than me and your join date is irrelevent (when did your momma let you start using her AOL account?).