(To the tune of "Watching the Detectives" by Elvis Costello:)
Little girl with a can of Faygo Red Watching teevee when she ought to be in bed Hugging her pillow just as tight as she can In the lap of her beloved old man
She is Watching the Macabre "That monster's neat!" She is Watching the Macabre See who they eat, eat, eat, eat! Too young to get the dumb jokes yet A silly vampire on a cheesy set
Long shot of the haunted house Screaming actress with a bloodstained blouse Cut to the shadows playing on the walls The hungry monster charging down the halls You munch your popcorn and swig from your pop The terror in her heart will never stop You don't know how much more she can take Just hope it's due for a commercial break
She is Watching the Macabre "That monster's neat!" She is Watching the Macabre See who they eat, eat, eat, eat! And then the antics of the spooky squad Led by the Late Marquis DeRod
The Army shows up by the final act They're rolling tanks and set to attack By now the monster's bigger than a city block And time is running out from the cuckoo clock Too tired to stay awake but too scared to sleep For in her dreams all the monsters will creep You know the creature is going down to defeat But she's building a nest right there in your seat
Just like Watching the Macabre The monster's dead It's just like Watching the Macabre Time for bed, bed, bed, bed Wave goodbye to the spooky squad And say "good night" to Marquis DeRod Watching the Macabre It's just like Watching the Macabre...
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