ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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 Post subject: Don't pee on your fingers.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:46 pm 
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92% of American's claim they wash up after going to the toilet, yet ONLY 77% do!!!

And men are pigs, but in our defence most of the places mentioned in the article are places men drink lots of beer, and when you drink you start to forget things like washing your hands, personal space, staring a a girls face whilst talking and glancing at her chest every few minutes instead of the other way around, vowels and nouns:

Atlanta's Turner Field baseball stadium: You drink to forget your in Atlanta.
Chicago's Shedd Aquarium and Museum of Science and Industry: You drink to toast the clever bastards that thought of the idea of having fish right next to industry, so when they rise up against us they'll have more easy access to a Sherman tank.
New York's Penn and Grand Central train stations: You drink and smoke to make the pee and homeless person smell that is the background radiation of New York City go away.
At San Francisco's Ferry Terminal Farmers Market: You drink because an old person in a car could at any moment mistake the clutch for the brake and cripple you and you'll be taken to Hospital in San Fran and treated by a possibly gay doctor who'll phone up the gay army and let them use you as a glove, and because you can't feel anything below your neck you won't realise it, ever.

In fact I should be drinking now anyway, who knows what could happen next?

Actor.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:55 pm 
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I'll wash up if I actually get anything on my hands. I'll find myself washing my hands before more often to keep my dick clean.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:56 pm 
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........

anyways, glad to be part of the 77


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:11 pm 
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"In the navy, we're taught to wash our hands after pissing."
"In the marines, we're taught not to piss on our hands."

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:46 am 
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Ryven wrote:
"In the navy, we're taught to wash our hands after pissing."
"In the marines, we're taught not to piss on our hands."


They never tried to teach us anything about how to piss. My drill instructor just told us not to be the one that shits in the urinal.


Just two days ago, someone shit in a shower in my berthing.


Yeah, we've got some winners in the navy. They do push for hand sanitization prior to meals, though.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:51 pm 
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Don't feel bad, I've dealt with people crapping in urinals before, at work, at an aluminum plant. Ohgod, that was fucking nasty.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:31 am 
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Well isn't this a delightful thread.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:36 am 
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Kest wrote:
Well isn't this a delightful thread.
Obviously someone has peed on Kest's fingers at some point.

Actor.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:35 am 
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actor_au wrote:
Kest wrote:
Well isn't this a delightful thread.
Obviously someone has peed on Kest's fingers at some point.

Actor.

so THATS why he uses green text all the time!!!

:eng101: learn something new every day!!!

Grimmeducated

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:52 pm 
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Try catching someone shitting in the urinal.

Rather amusing it is...

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:18 pm 
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Chaos wrote:
Try catching someone shitting in the urinal.

Rather amusing it is...


"I could be mistaken, but you've got things completely back-assward."

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:34 am 
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:-o
Horror stories from the bathroom at my job.

a few of the guys I work with walked into the bathroom, where on the floor of the last stall (handicapped stall, so it extends outward moreso than others) they see one of the older men of the company laying on the floor without his pants. All they see is a man lying on the ground in his leopard print speedos. Their first reaction was concern for the man's health...until they see the page turning from the wall street journal he was reading while stretched out. They make a hasty exit for the sake of their sanity and ask one of the other older men who is entering the restroom, "did we see what we think we just saw". Older man #2 comes out replying "Yep"

Human Resources is called to get them to check on the guy.
HR GUY: ****name withheld****, is that you?
OldGUy: Yep.
HR guy: you ok in there?
OLdguy: Yep.im fine.
Hr GUY is stumped as to what to say so he leaves.

Turns out the guy was doing a "medical procedure" for his prostate exam later (enema) and had to stretch out on the urine infested bathroom floor instead of taking a sick day to stay at home to do so....

One of the guys who saw this stayed home sick the next day as he could not sleep the night before because he has dreams that a leopard was chasing him.

Grimm
Sad but true story.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:07 pm 
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Being TS, I can go into a whole bunch of scary bathroom stories, but I'm not going to. Use your imagination. On the other hand, I will note that there isn't much of a difference between the percentage of men and percentage of women washing their hands. Everywhere I've ever used the facilities, the ratio has been the same: low. Eew.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:01 am 
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Im too lazy to use my imagination. its hard enough to picture a Snuffleufugus stampeding into the restroom in order to muster the fear needed to have a quality piss, so please, do elaborate.

Blue Sun Missile
covered in orange fur.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:37 am 
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I can use my imagination.

Of course my imagination usually takes place in a world where all women wear uniforms of some kind, have long hair, implants, are on diets and lesbians.
So thats good.

Actor.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:14 am 
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actor_au wrote:
Of course my imagination usually takes place in a world where all women wear uniforms of some kind, have long hair, implants, are on diets and lesbians.


Well, two of those are a hit. Er. Match? Congruent? == not ===? Anyway, I insert word here least two of those.

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