It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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 Post subject: Drunk again
PostPosted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:27 pm 

Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 4:12 pm
Posts: 3394
Location: Royal Court of Unfounded Speculation
I always log in here when I've had a few too many. Don't know why, really.

Well I might be moving to a smaller town to work for the blackberry people, so that's cool.

Fuck, I'm not sober enough to stop,
tell me the last time you were drunk, that'll get some posts in here.

- Chaos

A man said to the Universe, "Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

- Stephen Crane

 Post subject: Re: Drunk again
PostPosted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:21 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 10549
Location: Bris-Vegas Australia
The last time I was seriously drunk was at this party to celebrate Swedish Day or something. I showed up in a shirt that looked like the Finish Flag and drank my way through about fifteen beers whilst eating cold sausages and weird Swedish fish stuff. The night is a bit blurred but I know that I said something to this girl that she found offensive and yet hilarious at the same time, this enamoured her to me but alas I don't recall what I said or her name. I also stole a Viking helmet and peed several times into the Brisbane river from someone else's backyard which I broke into.
I ended up briefly passed out on the roof of the house and then crawled through a window because the urge to pee overwhelmed me. I managed to get a lift home with a mate of mine that is over-protective of his car to the point of madness, forcing me to sit on a towel and making me leave my esky behind as well. I crawled into bed eventually and was promptly sick in the toilet a few minutes later having woken up in time to make the run to get there. I had some water after that and brushed my teeth.
The next morning I woke up feeling like death and had to drive myself to a wonderfully timed game of morning soccer, but just before I left I got a call from my mates pregnant wife telling me that she thought that he was too tired to drive himself safely to soccer so as his best man and probably godfather to their future daughter(turned out she had a son but had refused to learn the gender of the baby beforehand and kept telling everyone that she knew it was going to be a girl) I had to pick him up and drive him myself in my car the Rapemobile. I don't remember doing this but I know that I woke up at about 5am and downloaded Doctor who and had just started to watch it(Vincent and the Doctor great episode), when she called, actually I think I watched the whole thing before I even left the house, things from that period of time are a touch blurry I do know that it was a great episode.
So, I was hungover to fuckery and half blind with Doctor Who related tears from that wonderful sad ending, I drove halfway across town to get him, then drove back, PAST MY OWN HOUSE, to get to our home fields(which are on the other even further away side of town) to play, it was a great game because it turned out that most of the other team were little kids(17-18) and had been up since early morning driving to get to the game because they lived on some island somewhere. Most of our team were still drunk from the party the night before and these kids were a little bit tired. But I have to say that they were scrappy, but they had no subs and we had about six available so they had to play a full game each and we had to play about 2/3rds of a game each, so we all had a very very quiet first half before the dark presence within us all that craves victory erupted in a cacophony of screams in the second half. Red-cards were exchanged, names were traded and blood was spilt off the field as the girlfriends of players started to get a bit uppity and hormonal. I ended up stopping a few good runs at the goal(I'm on backs so my job is to be a big pain in the arse of everyone and everything that is onside) and then passed out as the whistle blew, 5-2 we'd destroyed the hopes and dreams of the kids we were playing against. Such is the way of things.
After driving my mate home so he could go and sleep some more and then probably go to work or something lame like that I drove back to where the party had been and got my stuff from the night before. Went home, re-watched Doctor Who, then crashed out for about six hours.

The lesson here is...... drink more. Drink hard. Play Soccer.


"Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready! " - Santa.

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