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Wanted: Party of adventurers to eliminate dire badger threat. Reward: Some gold coins and experience
http://forums.kyhm.com/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=10464
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Author:  Vass [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Wanted: Party of adventurers to eliminate dire badger threat. Reward: Some gold coins and experience

Well, that was what I was thinking when I first saw this article...

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/07/11/1976220.htm

Quote:
Giant badgers 'terrorise' Iraqi port city

The Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a new fear; a giant badger stalking the streets by night.

Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel rumours of a bear-like monster that eats humans and was allegedly released into the area by British forces to spread panic.

Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, director of Basra's veterinary hospital, has inspected the corpses of several dead badgers and tries to reassure his fellow citizens that they are not a new post-war arrival in the region.

"These animals appeared before the fall of the regime in 1986," he said.

"Talk that this animal was brought by the British forces is incorrect and unscientific."

British troops have been based in Basra since the 2003 US-led invasion overthrew dictator Saddam Hussein, and the 5,500 that remain still face the threat of Shiite militias battling for the region's oil resources.

British army spokesman Major David Gell said the animals were thought to be a kind of honey badger, Mellivora capensis, which can be fierce but are not usually dangerous to humans unless provoked.

"They are native to the region but rare in Iraq," he said.

"They're nocturnal carnivores with a fearsome reputation, but they don't stalk humans and carry them back to their lair."

Both the scientists and the soldiers agree that the badger ought not to be a danger to humans, but so far they have failed to reassure the populace.

Eyewitness accounts

"I was sleeping at night when this strange animal hit me on my head. I have not seen such an animal before. My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," Suad Hassan, a 30-year-old housewife, said.

"It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly."

Cell phone video of the badgers circulating in Basra shows a stocky skunk-like animal with long front claws.

The honey badger, or ratel, is known as a brave predator capable of killing a cobra. It weighs up to 14 kilos (30 pounds), not usually known as man-eater.

Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old local farmer from Abu Sakhar north of Basra, believes the badger can tackle even large prey.

"I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece," he said.

"I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it," he said.

- AFP

Author:  Wandering Idiot [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:49 am ]
Post subject:  It's 5:47AM and I'm still at work (night shift). This is merely the inevitable result.

Damned British and their fearsome badgers of mass destruction with their sharp teeth and beady eyes and their general Mustelidae-ness and their ability to pole-vault upwards of 500 meters in order to reach honeycombs hidden on cliff ledges and their endlessly soulless thousand-yard stare, the stare of a badger who has seen too much, and lived too long, but loved too little, and their nasty little claws tipped with nano-engineered diamondoid compound, and so forth. *waves fist*

Heaven help those Iraqi buggers if the Brits ever decide to pull out the secret ferret-based weaponry they’ve been keeping under wraps on an army base in Wiltshire.

Author:  Kest [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:00 am ]
Post subject: 

...suppose we built this large wooden badger-

Author:  Yorik [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 

Next up: Zombies in Baghdad!

Author:  Vass [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:13 am ]
Post subject: 

You must be a level 10 adventurer to enter Baghdad.

Author:  Psycojes [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:11 am ]
Post subject: 

Image

Author:  Edible Corpse [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

Author:  Insane_Megalomaniac [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 12:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Edible Corpse wrote:
MUSHROOM MUSHROOM


FAIL.

Author:  actor_au [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Insane_Megalomaniac wrote:
Edible Corpse wrote:
MUSHROOM MUSHROOM


FAIL.


SNAKE! SNAKE!

Actor.

Author:  Insane_Megalomaniac [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

actor_au wrote:
Insane_Megalomaniac wrote:
Edible Corpse wrote:
MUSHROOM MUSHROOM


FAIL.


SNAKE! SNAKE!

Actor.


Penis! Penis!

Wait, that's Labrat's line. Fuck.

Author:  arwing [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Insane_Megalomaniac wrote:
Massive failure.

Author:  Yorik [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

actor_au wrote:
SNAKE! SNAKE!


SNAAAAAAAAKE!

Author:  Kest [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:02 am ]
Post subject: 

Vass wrote:
You must be a level 10 adventurer to enter Baghdad.

You must gather your party before venturing forth.

Author:  Edible Corpse [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

Kest wrote:
Vass wrote:
You must be a level 10 adventurer to enter Baghdad.

You must gather your party before venturing forth.


great now i'm going to have to install baldurs gate again

Author:  Spools [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

coughrelatedtothestoatcough

Author:  finalcarrots [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

Edible Corpse wrote:
Kest wrote:
Vass wrote:
You must be a level 10 adventurer to enter Baghdad.

You must gather your party before venturing forth.


great now i'm going to have to install baldurs gate again


Eldreth isn't worth your time.

Author:  Nicrat [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Kest wrote:
Vass wrote:
You must be a level 10 adventurer to enter Baghdad.

You must gather your party before venturing forth.


You have been waylaid by enemies and must defend yourself.

Author:  shoonra [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Edible Corpse wrote:
Image

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