ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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 Post subject: Population control: THE List
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 8:46 am 
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Has anyone seen Mikado? It is a play about a man who is on the ancient Japanese equivalent of death row and to escape being killed (as well as prevent those after him from being executed) he becomes the Lord High Executioner.

Well there is an absolutely hilarious song in it that occurs when they learn that they have an execution quota to meet. They come up with a list of all the people who would "surely not be missed." Every rendition of the play uses an up-to-date list. Well here is mine...

People who don't know the cube root of 27.
People who can't open their car doors without the electronic remote.
People who walk their cats on a leash.
People who pronounce items on a Thai menu with a southern accent.
PE majors.
Canadian separatists (are they still around?)
Evercrack addicts who deny it.
People who hate cops because they enforce the law.
American pop music.
The cast of Friends (excluding Joey)

Add on people, this world is getting crowded!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 1:41 pm 
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Hehe, "I've a little list/ they never will be missed."

-People who think that l33t substitutes for English
-people who try to speak l33t all the time (verbally, I mean)
-annoying seventh-graders (I go to a strange high-school)
-people who make the Darwin Awards (though we can't execute them again)
-anyone who's ever made their own spin off of the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke.
-anyone who's ever tried to answer that joke seriously
-anyone who can't use their TV without the remote
-any American who's ever considered the phrase "A minority in our own country" seriously
-anyone who tries to say that race doesn't matter (morons, then why do I have slanty eyes?)

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 5:14 pm 
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- Yuppies who move out to Washington (or anywhere else with abundant wildlife and forestlands), move into "gated communities" built rudely out in the middle of perfectly good forest, and then complain about the deer eating their flowers, the racoons getting into their garbage, the squirrels getting into their bird feeders, the coyotes picking off their unleashed yapyap dogs, the pine needles on their roofs and lawns....I'd snipe every one of 'em, if I had the chance. Fucking yuppies. IF YOU DON"T LIKE THE WOODS, DON"T MOVE THERE!

/end rant

- people who think ebonics needs to be taught in schools. It sorta defeats the purpose of teaching proper english in schools if you teach ebonics as well.
-telemarketers
-religious solicitors who don't get the hint the first five times you tell them you're not interested
-the person who made those damnable elephant jokes
-the ass who came up with the WASL test

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 6:24 pm 
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Ryven, that was beautiful.

In that vein-
people who drive out to ranger posts along back-packing trails and "day hike" with their anemic rattish mutts and whining, developmentaly arrested children.

People who buy patagonia, north face etc. because it looks cool
and have never left suburbia in their lives.

people who go camping in RV's and attach those lights that look like chile peppers to their awnings.

"skateboarders" who dont skate.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:13 pm 
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-Poser goth babies. "Goths" today wouldn't know a real one if one bit them in the ass. Dressing dark and whining about a newly thought up idea that death is cool does NOT make you a goth. It makes you dumb and a poser.
-Rich people whining about taxes. STFU
-The dumb assed parents and teachers who medicate their kids because they're acting like kids. Learn some responsibility, you asses, and leave the medications to the ones who really need it.
-People who charge 5 or 6 bucks for a cup of coffee, because they put some flavor into it and call it "mocha".
-Yuppy campers. Going to a campground in an RV, with your TV, microwave and dishwasher is NOT camping. Sitting around a campfire in front of your tent with your cooler and a battery operated radio is camping.

And I could go on all day, but I'll let other people have a shot. And thank you muchly, Apsuarawn.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:45 pm 
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On the subject of camping...

-Spawn campers (they should have a test for this at birth so we get them out of here faster)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 8:50 pm 
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Obviously the first to go should be all the ones who want to trim off the excess population.

We'll all follow right after you guys. Promise.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 8:52 pm 
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Ryven wrote:

-Yuppy campers. Going to a campground in an RV, with your TV, microwave and dishwasher is NOT camping. Sitting around a campfire in front of your tent with your cooler and a battery operated radio is camping.


And it's not a real hike unless you had to do 10 miles to get back on the trail because you were wandering around stoned out of your mind for three hours.

Not that I've ever done that.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 9:53 pm 
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If you have a 45 minute to an hour long drive, and you are rather high on cannabis sativas, might I suggest the album Toxicity by SOAD to keep you company. Make sure you arent alone, so someone can help you stay going strait as you bounce around the car...


Anyways, people that should be forcefully euthanised...

People that sue over stupidity and win.

The lawyers who win the prior people money.

Telemarketors that call cell phones.

more to come, but the beer hasn't fully kicked in yet...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:16 pm 
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Idiot tourists that come in the summer and complain about there being "no aurora."

People who cite the McDonald's coffee case without knowing the facts of it (no, she did not win millions of dollars).

Spammers.

SPAMMERS!

People with no tolerance.

People who repeatedly make the same stupid spelling/grammar mistakes and claim that any person that is annoyed by this at all is overly sensitive and anally retentive. I might be the grammar-gestapo, but few others are.

Edit: Where'd you get the 480,000 figure, Kry? I thought McDonald's appealed and they settled for an undislosed amount....


Last edited by Abunai! on Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:48 pm 
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Yay, let's hear it for anal retentive grammar whores like us! *hugs Abunai*

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2003 11:07 pm 
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Abunai! wrote:
People who cite the McDonald's coffee case without knowing the facts of it (no, she did not win millions of dollars).


Yes, but $480,000 is nothing to scoff it in and of itself.

And now more people who should be in a tour bus that flys into the grand canyon:

The RIAA - Monopoly that continues to propogate themselves without really giving a dime to the artists.

Televangelists who rob people of billions of dollars and pocket it all. (Jim Baker anyone?

People who put animal life above their own.

More to come. I'm not nearly angry enough right now...

EDIT: I fixed the quote


Last edited by krylex on Thu Apr 17, 2003 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 12:09 pm 
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-Anyone who didn't get worked up over the war on Iraq, but who gets teary over those animals in the Baghdad zoo

-anyone who think sleeping on a carpeted floor is intollerable

-anyone who goes to a West Coast surfing city, wears tourist clothes, goes to tourist traps, takes pictires like a tourist, and tries to pretend they aren't tourists because they only live twenty miles away and have a cousin who lives in town.

-that one kid in every history class who tries (note: tries) to impress everyone by citing random WWII facts and who says "Hmmm, definately a shrapenal (sp?) wound. Probably cause by a *blah blah blah*" while watching Band of Brothers.

-people who dress up their small pets on a daily basis

-people who inherited more than one million dollars from their parents and say they're self-made

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"What?! You spent THREE YEARS believing that I didn't masturbate!" - Steven


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 12:21 pm 
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-Kar98 Strafers. Especially when they're dancing back and forth across the map and still manage to kill you.
-Assault snipers.
-80% of the CS population.
-France.
-Anti-gun people.
-Did I mention Kar strafers? I really hate those fuckers.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 1:18 pm 
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Rupert The Guerilla Rat wrote:
-Kar98 Strafers. Especially when they're dancing back and forth across the map and still manage to kill you.
-Did I mention Kar strafers? I really hate those fuckers.


Damn right man. Watch the other ones though this is meant to be humourous not really serious.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 1:29 pm 
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- Germans who live in my dorm.

- Second and Third generation welfare recipients.

- People who come up to my desk and say, "I think the computer's broke,
can you fix it?"

- People who think AOL is an operating system.

- People who say you HAVE TO get the information back from the disk they just formatted.

- Politicians who start wars but are too chicken-shit to fight in them.

- doctors who perform unnecessary surgeries for the money.

- Emotional cowards who won't kill to save themselves or their family/friends.

- Smokers who stand right in doorways

- people who send death threats because they don't have the balls to ACTUALLY do something.

- People who take their frustrations out on a poor customer service person who didn't do anything to them, has no controll over the situation, and is just doing their job at minimum wage.

- People who treat low level high school and college student employees like shit because they think that they are fucking important.

- Feminists who blame me for shit that I have nothing to do with just because I'm a guy.

- Minorities who think that I personally opress their whole people and own slaves and god-knows-what, just because I was born white.

- Women who want into Male-Only clubs but believe that female-only clubs are ok.

- Guys that go after 16 year olds when they are in their goddamn mid-20s

- People who think that their "needs" are the only important thing in the world, and should be the only important thng to anybody, and fail to see what they are doing wrong when they use and manipulate people to get what they want.

- Gay people who think that tolerance is a license to act in a manner that is obscene no matter who does it (gay or straight) in public, then hide behind being gay as if they are being picked on.

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One's for sport and one's for blood
At the point of a knife, Now the die is shaken
Now the die must fall,
There ain't a winner in this game
Who don't go home with all, Not with all...


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 2:30 pm 
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-low-level high school/college student employees who treat their workers like shit, just 'cause they've got rank their uncle gave them

-second and third generation richies

-white guys who think that by just standing around and blanking out they aren't supporting oppressive customs

-people who think that being half-Asian means I can do half of all the cool stuff in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (this is in no way related to Clay's post, I just thought of it)

-sixteen years-olds that go after women in their twenties (although it's entertaining, I think that kind of moron should drop of the face of the Earth)

:P

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"In real life, you don' have a Subterfuge skill above one." - Phill
"What?! You spent THREE YEARS believing that I didn't masturbate!" - Steven


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 4:18 pm 
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Clay_Allison wrote:
- People who think AOL is an operating system.


Have you look at the Netscape Portable Runtime? I believe the latest version of AOL is based on that, so I'm not sure that they're far off...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2003 10:39 pm 
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Location: Yet another city of degenerate fools
-People who speel badly on online forums

-Conservatives
Just kidding...I only hate the smart ones ;)

-People who act like they are above morals because they have "courage"

-People who look down on ignorant people without considering in what areas they may be smarter

-People who don't think that they have any prejudices

-People who hold on to their precious beliefs in spite of overwhelming logic

-People who list mutually exclusive things in "I hate" lists

*Note: in an effort to avoid a flame war, none of these are directed specifically toward anyone here. Just people I know, mostly.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 9:21 am 
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What about the tools to be used for population control? I for one suggest a sledge-o-matic. It does so well with absolutly everything else, why not weeding out the sick, irritating, and stupid?


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