http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stupid wrote:
stu·pid
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
Slow to learn or understand; obtuse. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake. Dazed, stunned, or stupefied. Pointless; worthless: a stupid job.
n.
A stupid or foolish person.
stupid
\Stu"pid\, a. [L. stupidus, fr. stupere to be stupefied: cf. F. stupide.] 1. Very dull; insensible; senseless; wanting in understanding; heavy; sluggish; in a state of stupor; -- said of persons.
2. Resulting from, or evincing, stupidity; formed without skill or genius; dull; heavy; -- said of things.
stupid
adj 1: lacking or marked by lack of intellectual acuity [ant: smart <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=smart">] 2: in a state of mental numbness especially as resulting from shock; "he had a dazed expression on his face"; "lay semiconscious, stunned (or stupefied) by the blow"; "was stupid from fatigue" [syn: dazed <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=dazed">, stunned <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stunned">, stupefied <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stupefied">, stupid(p) <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stupid%28p%29">] 3: without much intelligence; "a dull job with lazy and unintelligent co-workers" [syn: unintelligent <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=unintelligent">] [ant: intelligent <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=intelligent">] n : a person who is not very bright: "The economy, stupid!" [syn: stupid person <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=stupid%20person">, dullard <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=dullard">, dolt <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=dolt">, pudding head <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=pudding%20head">, pudden-head <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=pudden-head">, poor fish <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=poor%20fish">]
PTLIS wrote:
For me the cutting was massively beneficial and no-one knew about it until years after I had stopped, for Kyle the cutting was a cry for help, which he got.
Anyway I vote yes it is stupid because despite all this I still think it is, i know it helped me but I know for a fact that there are other, less destructive things which would probably have had the same outcome.
So in essence you are saying that cutting is useless, careless, thoughtless action, despite the fact that it helped you. By your own experience, you should realize that you're not unique in this perspective. It was beneficial towards you and your friend, he got the help he wanted. So it's not useless. Clearly, you both put thought into your actions. But, since maybe there were other alternatives that you two could have
possibly used, then it would be a rather impulsive coping method, not thoughtless or stupid. And you didn't end up accidently killing yourself; cutting is a precision art, careless people end up in the hospital or dead.
Yevaud333 wrote:
In any case, I still acknowledge that cutting is in some sense negative because I am certain that there are other things I could have done which would also have helped me. I don't know of any specific things, though, and their existence does not negate the fact that, in the end, cutting had a positive effect on my life, and so it is foolish for anyone to make the general claim that all cutting is TEH DEBIL.
I *heart* you. I've been writing this consecutively, so I didn't include your reply to my reply. But <3.
Kali_Ava wrote:
Ryven wrote:
Cutting yourself open for sympathy isn't a lifestyle.
Affect regulation -- Trying to bring the body back to equilibrium in the face of turbulent or undettling feelins. This includes reconnection with the body after a dissociative episode, calming of the body in times of high emotional and physiological arousel, validating the inner pain with an outer expression, and avoiding suicide because of unbearable feelings. In many ways, as Sutton says, self-harm is a "gift of survival." It can be the most integrative and self-preserving choice from a very limited field of options.
Communication -- Some people use self-harm as a way to express things they cannot speak. When the communication is directed at others, the SIB is often seen as manipulative. However, manipulation is usually an indirect attempt to get a need met; if a person learns that direct requests will be listened to and addressed the need for indirect attempts to influence behavior decreases. Thus, understanding what an act of self-harm is trying to communicate can be crucial to dealing with it in an effective and constructive way. Control/punishment -- This catafory includes trauma reenactment, bargaining and mafical thinking (if I hurt myself, then the bad thing I am fearing will be prevented), protecting other people, and self-control. Self-control overlaps somewhat with affect regulation; in fact, most of the reasons for self-harm listed above have an element of affect control in them.
Communication is not the only cause of cutting, as clearly stated.
female, age 14, two years SIB, high school student wrote:
Ryven wrote:
Zarathustra wrote:
You make a distinction between lifestyle and dysfunction, but you don't define either category. What makes cutting a dysfunction, but (say) S&M a lifestyle?
Never said that was healthy either, did I? At least I can respect that they do it in the privacy of their own homes, and they do it with safety measures involved. (Most people who practice S&M and make money off of it as a sub/dom will stop once there's blood drawn) But that's another debate. Let's try and stay OT.
If you enjoy pain, there are other ways of enjoying it properly. I mean, shit, join a contact sport. Get lots of piercings. Wrestle with your brother. But Jesus H Kryst, saying "Hm, let's cut myself up today!" isn't fucking healthy.
One time I simply came out of the shower and life was just confusing me and I grabbed a
bottle of peroxide and a razor blad and sat in fron of the t.v. I carved a big peace sign and a cross into my left ankle. I just kept going over the signs to make the cut deeper. I think I just like to see myself bleed, maybe to me it's just like all the anger and hate and confusion is pouring out of me. But I don't think people who just see others that do this should judge and think that we crave attention cause we don't, it's just our own way of dealing with our anger, confusion, hate, etc.
Typically speaking, this is common practice. This is also using safety measures within the privacy of their own home. I wonder why piecring all the way through a part of the body is more acceptable then making a little nick... is it because of fashion statements? No... people who cut for fashion are considered attention-whores.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Healthy wrote:
Adj. 1. healthy - having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease; "a rosy healthy baby"; "staying fit and healthy"
2. healthy - financially secure and functioning well; "a healthy economy"
3. healthy - promoting health; healthful; "a healthy diet"; "clean healthy air"; "plenty of healthy sleep"; "healthy and normal outlets for youthful energy"; "the salubrious mountain air and water"- C.B.Davis; "carrots are good for you"
4. healthy - physically and mentally sound or healthy; "felt relaxed and fit after their holiday"; "keeps fit with diet and exercise"
5. healthy - exercising or showing good judgment; "healthy scepticism"; "a healthy fear of rattlesnakes"; "the healthy attitude of French laws"; "healthy relations between labor and management"; "an intelligent solution"; "a sound approach to the problem"; "sound advice"; "no sound explanation for his decision"
Zarathustra wrote:
Terms like "unnatural" "unhealthy" and "abnormal" should NOT be used in any debate over a socially controversial practice. In these cases, they generally tend to be used as a way to attack unpopular ideas and customs simply by virtue of their being unpopular.
I quite agree.
Zarathustra wrote:
Ryven wrote:
Zarathustra wrote:
You still haven't explained why. What makes something "healthy"?
Come on now, let's not be silly. It's common sense. Not harming yourself = healthy. A human being has no reason to want to physically take a knife to one's self and cut one's self open. Nor should a healthy human being feel the need to throw one's self off a cliff or anything of that sort.
Okay, stop right there. That is seriously the worst argument ever. "Common sense" has been used to justify everything from racism to monarchy to slavery.
I have look up the definition for you two. There's no winning in a debate, just remember that.
Ryven wrote:
If Kali happens to take it as a personal attack, then that's her bag. It wasn't meant as a personal attack. I already stated that "cutting is stupid" was my opinion. If you want me to attack you, Kali, so you can truly be a victim, then I will. If not, don't accuse me of it.
I keep telling you people. I find no insults in your own opinions (except when you dismiss them off-hand). I am simply debating my stance, and hoping that you fully debate your stance on the subject as well. I accused you of it? I hope this wasn't just a misunderstanding, because I debate the hypothetical person's view sometimes. I'm very sorry if I have wrongly accused you, that was not appropriate or relivant to the debate then and should be ignored.
Solomon and Farrand (1996) wrote:
Ryven wrote:
In the simplest definition, it is unhealthy to hurt yourself because you simply are hurting yourself. You are going against your human survival instict to cause pain to yourself unneccessarily.
The assumption is that the alternative to self-injury is "acting normally," but on the contrary... the alternative to self-injury is total loss of control and possibly suicide. It becomes a forced choice from among limited options.
The point of hospitalisation and therapy is to help the person learn other ways of dealing with such unbearable emotional build-up. Technically, that is unhealthy to be so mentally stressed. I agree with you on that. But does that make cutting "stupid," or just "impulsive." Clearly, if a person is intentionally cutting, they are thinking about it. Most of the time, just not thinking enough. But it's an instinct to learn to adapt or cope, and they know that (though may not be able to put it into words). Impulsive behavior can sometimes lead to mistakes. But completely thoughtless stupidity... "I think I'll just cut myself today. Today is as good as any other. Maybe someone will notice, and I'll feel special." That's my opinion anyways, because that quote shows very little thought. Where as in a general cutter has many different reasons, as stated in the <a href="http://forums.kyhm.com/viewtopic.php?p=128438#128438">many quotes</a> I posted earlier.
darksetyuna wrote:
It's just when you say shit like that, knowing that someone will take it wrong .. and hoping they will so you can shoot them down ... and adding my own experience with you on this topic ... I must say it is rather irritating.
I actually did not know it would be taken the wrong way, and I was acting superior. It was completely irrelivant, I apologize. I also apologize for not using my wording better. Because I most certainly did not mean that what all cutters go through is "not that depressing" or any shit like that. I just meant, with my history, doing all that research caused urges, and I felt somewhat stung when it was dismissed so easily as depressing shit. I shouldn't have reacted. Again, I am sorry.
Quote:
foreverygrey wrote:
A coping mechanism? Slicing your flesh is a coping mechanism?
Coping with what? Cutting symptom of NOT coping. If you were coping you wouldnt me carving lines or names or renditions of 'The Last Supper' into your thigh.
Many papers on self-harm (Miller, 1994; Favazza 1986, 1996; Connors, 1996a, 2000; Solomon & Farrand, 1996; Ousch et al., 1999; Suyemoto, 1998; and others), have uncovered possible motivations for self-injurious behavior:
-Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
-Easing tension.
- Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
- Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
- Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
- Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
- Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
- Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
- Preventing suicide
- Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
- Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
- Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
- Communicating a need for support
- Expressing or repressing sexuality
- Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
- Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real
- Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
- Punishing oneself for being "bad"
- Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
- Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
- Exerting a sense of control over one's body
- Preventing something worse from happening
Indeed it is a coping method.
Ryven wrote:
Painting/sketching/drawing your feelings.
Writing a journal
Writing a poem
Writing a story/novel
Working out
Going on a walk
Talking to a friend
Talking to a parent
Talking to a stranger (sometimes, it's the people who you don't know, and who don't know you, who have the best insight on a problem)
Ranting on a forum
Ranting in front of people IRL
Crying. Lots of crying.
Going outside and having a good scream
Beating on your pillow
Working on a hobby or something you enjoy
Involving yourself in a regularly scheduled activity, sport or somesuch
Meditation
Religion
Music
Going to a psychologist/psyciatrist
Going on long drives
Visiting family members
Taking a trip to detatch yourself and get a better look at the problem
Taking days off regularly for yourself
All of these don't involved mutilating yourself. Many of which I've used to cope with my own problems.
(This has nothing to do with debate, but it is definitely worth mentioning.)
Those are excellent coping skills. Thank you so much for posting them, it's really great that you can use those to deal with stress. Just thought you deserved a shout-out for listing all of those. Many people have trouble listing ten.
http://www.wordreference.com/english/definition.asp?en=stubborn wrote:
PTLIS wrote:
Ryven wrote:
I'm not being ignorant, I'm being stubborn, there's a difference.
I disagree, stubborness is refusing to even consider someone else's opinion, intellegent people consider foreign concepts before negating them or assimilating the new idea or concept into their current beliefs. Logically then Being stubborn is a form of stupidity.]
stubborn
adjective
1 refusing to comply, agree, or give in; obstinate
2 difficult to handle, treat, or overcome
3 persistent and dogged
example: a stubborn crusade
ignorant
adjective
1 lacking in knowledge or education; unenlightened
2 [postpositive; often foll by of] lacking in awareness or knowledge (of)
example: ignorant of the law
3 resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or awareness
example: an ignorant remark
There is a difference. It's up to you two to distinguish which conext the quotes are in.
Ryven wrote:
2) Fuck you. The pedophile thread hit home with me, and I don't have a fucking narrow POV on that. Pedophiles are fucking evil. They take a child and forever fucks up his or her life because he couldn't keep it in his fucking pants. It's sick and fucking wrong and how fucking DARE you even insinuate that I'm wrong because I hate the kind of people who FUCKED UP MY LIFE.
I don't see how pedophilia can be justified. At fucking all. Ignorance is not a justification. Nor is past history. I would like to see a debate on it, would somebody link me?
Edit: Some coding errors.
PS. Please don't make this a giant flame war. I created this debate hoping it would stay a debate, because most of you people are intelligent enough to look up facts and not call everyone who disagree with you a moron. We've all put a lot of energy into our replies. Please don't let it dwindle down into a flame war where everything equals "omg, i'm right, you're wrong. you suck." (I've been told it's already reached that level, but I have hope yet. I really desperately want to see the research and reasoning behind some of your opinions.)
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