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 Post subject: The Personal Nature of the Internet.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 3:27 pm 
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dances irish jig: I would think that a good thing...

Warmongral: think what?

dances irish jig: letting you seeing people on the internet as more than just usernames and pretty avatars

dances irish jig: *see

Warmongral: I dissagree

Warmongral: I'd rather wait untill I see someone and interact with them to form an attachment to them

dances irish jig: I disagree

dances irish jig: internet isn't just about gaining information, sir ... it's mainly about communication

Warmongral: but the nature of the internet is too impersonal to lose oneself in

dances irish jig: its only impersonal if you make it that way

dances irish jig: I find it difficult not to wonder about the people I talk about

dances irish jig: *talk with

dances irish jig: heh

Warmongral: we already know that sacasm doesn't transfer well

Warmongral: neither do the tellsigns of lying

dances irish jig: so what?

dances irish jig: that's why you pick up a phone

Warmongral: that's why you go outside

Warmongral: talk to people who you can hug

dances irish jig: I like talking to people who I can't face on a daily basis

dances irish jig: you get more out that way

dances irish jig: its therapeutic, even

Warmongral: because you can open up to them more?

dances irish jig: you don't have to worry about how you'll look at em the next day

dances irish jig: and often enough, if you ever meet them later, you find that they respect you more for it ...

Warmongral: in that much, it shows that they mean less to you that those around you

Warmongral: you care about the real people's feelings and reactions

dances irish jig: hm

Warmongral: when you're filtered through the internet talking to someone you've never met, you let them know about all this because you don't take their reactions into account

Warmongral: you don't have to see their eyes
dances irish jig: this is true

Warmongral: you can't see the disappointment, the dissaproval, the joy, the arousal, the hurt

Warmongral: and for that, there's a part of you that's grateful.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Discuss.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 6:21 pm 
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I agree with Darkie. And, so do most of us. Why else would places like www.ffxiplayers.com or, the zombie thread here exist? I, myself, often wonder what all you look/sound like.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 6:47 pm 
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Signs to tell if Kali depends on you as a person:

- If I have talked to you on the phone for over an hour, it is likely I have a more significant attachment to you.
- If I have had more then ten conversations spanning three-five hours of constant internet interaction.
- If you are significantly depressed (to the point of self-destructive tendencies/addictions), and I try to console you and help. I tend to be very attached until you are well, at which point, I kind of let you wander off on your life.
- If we have met in life ever.

------------
I do have online friends. And they mean a great deal to me. But I only can take people at small doses (most of the time) - so I don't online chat, and I don't go to parties every night with my IRL friends.

I like to keep a certain distance between myself and others, because I find people do not depend on me as much if they only know me on the internet. I have a bad history of being completely undependable, so it's more of a defense mechagnism to keep friends from being disappointed, team projects left unfinished, or guilting myself for not doing something properly. The internet is where I feel that I have perfect control over these matters.

Interaction on the internet over the past two years, though, has caused phenominal leaps in my learning how to cope, learning who I was, learning how to be happy, etc. I have not ever made such progress, and I attribute most of it to the people and experiences I've had online. It's a whole virtual world to use at your dispense. It's as influencial as you let it be.

I mean, personally, I now use Kyhm's to expand my knowledge, learn to loosen up and ahve a sense of humour, inside jokes, creative expression, and a place to find people you can meet. Because, of all the experience I've had meeting people from Kyhm's, and from earlier online sources - it is one of the most fun, socially pleasurable things to do. Seriously.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:10 pm 
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Nice, Kali. I think I'll post my own.

Signs to tell if Herbal depends on you as a person:

I'm married to you.

=========

Yup, that's pretty much it. I'm good friends with my brother and his wife, and a couple of people where I live, but you know what? If they dropped off the face of the earth, it would bother me for a couple of weeks, but then I'd be over it.

I may seem cold, but that's just how I am. My parents realized that if they kept pushing me into going to church, I would just leave an never come back when I went to college, because I didn't speak with them for the entire first semester. It's not because I don't like them, but because I simply don't care.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:10 pm 
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I think Shinjiro took lessons from Vaeroth on how to begin DC threads.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:03 am 
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Herbal Enema wrote:
Nice, Kali. I think I'll post my own.

Signs to tell if Herbal depends on you as a person:

I'm married to you.

=========

Yup, that's pretty much it. I'm good friends with my brother and his wife, and a couple of people where I live, but you know what? If they dropped off the face of the earth, it would bother me for a couple of weeks, but then I'd be over it.

I may seem cold, but that's just how I am. My parents realized that if they kept pushing me into going to church, I would just leave an never come back when I went to college, because I didn't speak with them for the entire first semester. It's not because I don't like them, but because I simply don't care.


I know what you mean...
As for me, I put people in a number of categories. The positives are: family, friend and ally. I put myself above all, of course, but I would do almost everything in my power to help those people. An ally is for me a guy who I share the same goal with. We help each other 'cause we know that together we are stronger. A friend is a person that I care for because who he is, and not what he is.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 8:06 am 
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ker-link:

Psychology of Cyberspace: The Online Disinhibition Effect

(stolen from Nebbie)


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:56 pm 
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Personally, I think the inherently anonymous nature of the internet allows people to interact with a frankness that they cannot in real life.

It also allows them to abreact and discuss views in ways they couldn't with people they know.

The fact that you never have to see these people face to face makes it easier to discuss such problems.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:58 pm 
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IcyMonkey wrote:


That link hurts my brain.

But yeah, most of the stuff I agree with. I think part of the appeal of the internet is the fact that a lot of people who come on the internet are people who haven't had very fulfilling relationships in the offline world. Hell, that's what brought me online 5 years ago or so, and to some extent, is the reason I keep coming back. To put it bluntly, the internet is filled with social failures. And in this community of rejects, a lot of people find people that they can depend on.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:06 pm 
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TMT wrote:
snip

I concur. Addtionally, I believe it might also help that one does not have forced interaction with anyone, on the internet (with the occasional, brief exception). One does not still have to work with anyone they fight with, does not have see them at class. Instead, if one ever really needs to, one can abandon interaction (even if it must be at the price of not going to some otherwise fun forum, chat room, etc.).

However...I've noticed with Livejournal, that even people I know in real life are far more open about themselves. Perhaps it's because they control the topic, and can just not talk about whatever they want to. And then, sometimes, it becomes a habit. I know that at least I have become much more open about myself than I used to be.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:13 pm 
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A good part of it goes back to one of the main reason people become actors: the "I get to be someone different" thoughtline. Although some people treat the internet as a way to vent all their life problems and express their socially acceptable views, there's still a good portion who use the internet to gain what the real world usually denies them: a fresh start. Falsehoods and lies are so much easier on this medium of communication than on others because, as said above, all the tells of lying are concealed, if not removed. I just never saw the point of believing anyone fully until I meet them, and so, despite the company you all provide and the enjoyment I take from the general amount of talent that you all have in your own specialized fields, I don't have near the ammount of attachement to you as I would have had we gone in halves for a pizza.

Then again, I do love pizza.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:08 pm 
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Quote:
When acting out hostile feelings, the person doesn't have to take responsibility for those actions. In fact, people might even convince themselves that those behaviors "aren't me at all." In psychology this is called "dissociation."


This = troll complex.

Quote:
Seeing a frown, a shaking head, a sigh, a bored expression, and many other subtle and not so subtle signs of disapproval or indifference can slam the breaks on what people are willing to express. In psychoanalysis, the analyst sits behind the patient in order remain a physically ambiguous figure, without revealing any body language or facial expression, so that the patient has free range to discuss whatever he or she wants, without feeling inhibited by how the analyst is physically reacting.


Also allows for more time to better understand what's being said and counter it, delve deeper into discussion, or do multiple things. Even online chatting for me is far too immediate. I like forums use, LJ comments, etc. so there's no opportunity to be bored or help with what somebody's talking about because you're not obligated to respond.

Quote:
In e-mail and message boards, communication is asynchronous. People don't interact with each other in real time. Others may take minutes, hours, days, or even months to reply to something you say. Not having to deal with someone's immediate reaction can be disinhibiting.
[]
In e-mail and message boards, where there are delays in that feedback, people's train of thought may progress more steadily and quickly towards deeper expressions of what they are thinking and feeling.


From a chat room vs. forums, I'd say this applies. But I think online conversations can get pretty deep and focused in a shorter amount of time. If you're both wanting to expand on the same thing. I've had some amazing conversations online that went deeper than just email, PM, or LJ.

------------

I have to go to bed. Kali has school in the morning. But I'll come back and finish all my $0.02 up.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm 
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The internet is an achievment of a human comunal memory.

What's more personal than that?

-Kitty

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:23 pm 
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I'm a big advocate of the internet. Probably because i'm one of it's own pathetic dependants, however. I have a big problem with making friends in real life. I just don't know what to do, and i'm stereotyped and shoved away before people ever get to know me. Online gave me the chance to find people that really understood me for who i am. I only ever started making friends because of the 'net. So my view on things is partially skewed.

Anyway, I honestly think that the net is an awesome asset. Without a body to base your impressions on, people get to know you for your mind and personality. No age, no gender, no location, no name. Totally anonymous for as long as you want it to be. It's actually an amazing high to know that someone enjoys talking to you because of *you* and not for your breasts or ass.

And on a side note because it amused me, Ways to know I like you:

In real life i'll actually let you touch me. Honestly, i think that's the biggest factor. I'm a huge cuddle-whore online. But that's text. In real life i'm incredibly stand-offish. You know i like you if i'll give you a hug. And if i cling you know i luffles you. It's pretty rare i find people that i feel that comfortable with though.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:33 pm 
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Darkened Abyss wrote:
In real life i'll actually let you touch me. Honestly, i think that's the biggest factor. I'm a huge cuddle-whore online. But that's text. In real life i'm incredibly stand-offish. You know i like you if i'll give you a hug. And if i cling you know i luffles you. It's pretty rare i find people that i feel that comfortable with though.


>.>

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