ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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 Post subject: Stop fucking up Christmas, you wankers.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:33 pm 
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Ah, Christmas. Though it is by far the least tainted of all holidays, even it falls prey to the suffocating pressure of modern society.

As futile as it is, I try to keep something of the old ways. A dozen men and women gather upon benches strewn around a fire pit, every manner of food laid out for any and all to take their fill. Bottles of wine, beer, scotch, and a handful of other fermented fruit and grain product sit with the unwritten rule that, once open, they must be drunk to the last before the night is done. We brag, we boast, we tell the follies of our pasts. For a night, just a single night, we don't feel so small and meaningless. Sometimes a story is enough.

Wreaths and ornaments and clean carpets be damned. Such things are proof of how much of your life you are willing to cast into the abyss for, what? The chance to show up your fellow man or to defend yourself from percieved scorn, real or not? I spit upon such things. Even gift giving has degraded into a way to make yourself feel good at anothers expense, causing them guilt at not having gotten you a good enough present in return. Christmas dinner is less about food or company and more about showing off your fucking presentation. I spit upon all such things and wish they take their leperous excretions with them wherever such abominations go when they die.

Debate.
And bring me the fucking Krampus now, dammit.

No boom?
No boom.
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.
...
What?! Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM!

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actor_au wrote:
Labrat's friends can't run away, as they are only the skins of the people he's drowned in his own semen, carefully stitched together and stuffed with cooking chocolate.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:53 pm 
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Shouldn't this be in the Roleplaying forum?


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:45 am 
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Why are you quoting Babylon Five?

Actor.

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"Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready! " - Santa.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 9:51 am 
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actor_au wrote:
Why are you quoting Babylon Five?

Actor.

Yeah, quote Star Trek like all us normal people :dance:

Merry Christmas, y'all.

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"We are not going to die! And do you know why? Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die. And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and <i>polka will never die!</i>"


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:38 pm 
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omg omg don't call it christmas omg


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:39 pm 
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I bet Labrats penis made him do this.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:26 pm 
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Yorik wrote:

Of course not! Its hardly Christmas, given how pagan it is. Just call it the winter solstice and be honest with yourselves, or Saturnalia if you want to be pretentious :-P

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:46 pm 
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Yorik wrote:

Geez, it's usually the religious freaks rather than the anti-religious freaks who pull stunts like this. Well, either way, it's one less freak in the world.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:48 pm 
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If only he had died from it, then it might show other people that were thinking about doing the same thing that no one cares.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 11:07 pm 
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actor_au wrote:
Why are you quoting Babylon Five?

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations.

Plus I wanted to, bitch.

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actor_au wrote:
Labrat's friends can't run away, as they are only the skins of the people he's drowned in his own semen, carefully stitched together and stuffed with cooking chocolate.


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