ZOMBIE FORUMS

OOC: This RP is off to a great start!

I just wanted to say that./OOC

Commander Keen looks up from his book, frowns, and continues to read...

Duke was grinning. He had gotten wounded. that meant the heat was finally on. He always hated it when he had to walk around and he wasn't in the middle of a teeming mes of alien monsters out to kill him, spraying alien blood and gore all over the place. He had to admit that his current opponent, while ugly enough to be an alien, was a bit on the small side, not to mention there was only 1, but he settled for that. Now they'd have a masive bloody fight, in wich Duke would empty his shotgun on the guy's face till it was acceptable to look at or his ammo ran out.

So when Snake started to retreat, Duke was flabbergasted. That wasn't the way it was supposed to go! Veins popping in his forehead, Duke broke into a run, trying to catch up with the stealth artist. So caught up in his search, and randmoly shooting anything what looked more like Snake then it looked like a 4 dimensional packet of cottage cheese, that he didn't notice when he walked of the pier and fell into the water, while going after a trash can that appeared to be heading to an alley.

Pissed off, Duke then shot a couple of fish. underwater.

after shedding a few hurried tears for his deceased box, snake crawls out of the air vent he was hiding in, looking around for the big crazy guy.
"this guy's got a bigger mad-on than that loony Vulcan Raven. and worse breath." snake mutters as he dashes from cover to cover, listening to the sound of general piscean genocide.
"snake, why are you such a chickenshit? why, instead of blasting it out with that odorous behemoth did you do a gay-as girly-man run for the nearest air vent?'
"hey, listen up, little miss bitchy pants, well on 35 years of tactical espionage field operations tend to develop your instincts. and mine told me to get hella out of there. and i always listen to my instincts."
"yeah, whatever. maybe you ARE pliskin's cheap knock-off after all."
"that's it! either you get your ass out here and do this yourself, or shut the hell up! i lost a good soldier and a friend today!" snake growls, infuriated at otacon's somewhat accurate jibe.
"it was a box, snake. a box. A. BOX."
"what the hell would you know," snake mutters despondantly, as he digs a Fa-Mas rifle and 2 clips from a half buried munitions crate.
snake continues to mutter as he methodically cleans and checks his new tool of pain and death, and when finally satisfied, snake heads toward the duke's signal on his GPS. to the docks.

"this just got a whole lot more personal, soldier."

*Sigh...*

If neither of the combatants shows up in 24 hour we're gonna start a new match.

/Chris puts a DOOM timer over the heads of both combatants

OOC well i'm still about, was just waiting for al'Tor to post next. still rarin to go, /OOC

OOC: Oops, me dumb...

oh and AAARGH... when I wanted to copy mything the first time to be safe, something went wrong and I deleted it, so it's gonna be a bit shorter then the original.



A trail of fish with their bellies full of dead miraculously floated to the surface. Duke was getting sick of shooting fish. Also, he was drowning. But he saw an RPG launcher at the bottom, so he swam down to pick it up. Then, when he almost reached it, a teleportation device activated and dropped him in the ship.

After fighting down the urge to senselessly and uncharacteristely scream out his frustration, Duke started to scour the ship senselessly and characteristely, often walking around in circles.

he didn't however, notice the destructor that was right behind the target area of the teleporter.

having reached the dock, snake notices movement inside the small boat, and wishes for a PSG1. however, not having that technology at this time, snake decides to 'get his sneak on' and surprise the confused duke. he manages to get as far as the deck, when the otherwise occupied duke sees him, and snake proposes an exchange of philosophical ideas and screaming hot lead.

snake opens the debate with a 2 second burst from the shiny new Fa-Mas, and a somewhat more colorful version of Descartes' statement;

'I think, therefore i am...GONNA BLOW YER FREAKIN HEAD OFF!"
the rain of lead screams toward the duke, acompanied by snake's maniacal laughter

"being is what it is...the being of for-itself is defined, on the contrary, as being what is not and not being what it is. But my boot will redefine your face you inspiration for birth control."

With this existential battle cry Duke runs toward his opponent, shotgun slugs leading the way for him. In a usual display of video games probability, none of the bullets and shells hurt anybody except superficially. Then just when the two combattants were so close they couldn't miss.

*click.* *click*

"You're empty"

"So are you"

The two warriors were standing a bit awkardely, and then silently decided to go their seperate ways seeking more ammunition and never, ever, speak about that episode of their lives again.

snake instinctively checks a nearby vent, finding nothing but a dirty old porno mag.
after flicking through and seeing it has no pictures of cardboard boxes in alluring and seductive positions, he decides it is only useful as a decoy.
OOC which is good, 'cause i didn't really want to write a scene involving snake jacking off /OOC

leaving the air vent behind, snake is luck enough to find a weak patch of floor - by falling through it.
after landing on his head and causing no serious damage, snake is overjoyed to see a nikita rocket launcher broke his fall. however after checking the weapon he is dismayed to find that his fall also broke it.
"damn"
unable to find any way to climb out of his current situation, snake searches for an air vent or some kind of 'secret area' behind one of the walls, and is fortunate enough to find one. behind the wall is a crate of ammo for the now useless nikita and a tunnel.
"damn shame that nikita's busted, sure would be handy..." snake grumbled.
"but with the damage it's sustained, it'd probably explode if i...fired..." struck with inspiration, snake gathers up the nikita, the ammo, and headed down the tunnel, hoping it led to the surface.

"looks like ol' ugly has a plan, goat-breath"

OOC: He he he, this is great. Thank you for finally posting./OOC

In utter dismay of his lack of highly destructive machinery Duke runs around in a panicked frenzy, afraid that someone would see him without the ability to deal gigantic portions of death.

Then he looked behind a barrel. Another RPG launcher. Closer investigation revealed however, that one of his shotgun shells had pierced it, seriously damaging it. His knowledge of weapons told him it would probably explode if he fired it.

In his head, Duke's neurons were feverishly firing. A conversation between Duke and Duke's mind started.

"Hey, what if I run towards him wildly firing the RPG launcher at him"

NONONONONO

"So.... I'll stand manly and fire the RPG launcher at..."

NO

"Make a badass comment and fire..."

NO you steroid bag of testosteron

"Laugh and..."

Look, you somehow get the ugly one to grab the launcher, he fires it and blows himself up. You go and get laid

"So when's the part I fire this launcher at him?"

AAAARGH

OOC: rand, that is some sweet-ass writing right there- love it! i can see where your'e taking this and it's a great idea/OOC

having reached the surface, snake uses the pages of the dirty magazine as a trail of porngraphic bread crumbs for the duke to follow, with the nikita at the end of the trail, two rounds pre-loaded, just in case one round doesn't cause the device to explode.

snake then hides in a nearby trash can, oscar-the-grouch style, and waits for the duke to arrive and pick up the literal loose cannon, at which point snake plans to jump out and provide a target for duke to aim at and deliver his own messy demise...

smelling of greasy rotten bananas, snake waits for his hapless prey...

OOC: oh this gonna be more fun than my doctor reccomends /OOC

Duke felt strange. This whole 'thinking' thing was making his head hurt. Normally, he'd have silenced any attempt in that direction by drowning it out in gunfire, booze or sex, but his gun was ampty, seawater was the only liquid nearby and... Jeez this thinking stuff was giving him the creeps. And what was THIS supposed to mean to mean.

look, I've got a hunch about this right.

"Why did you let me put this perfectly good RPG launcher..."

IT'S DEFECTIVE.

"Why do I put it in a cardboard box I found somewhere and put some leather stuff on it I found in the strip bar. I was planning to give it as a present to some babes."

Look, While you were looking in the latest Soldier of Fortune just scoffing at their weaponry and checking out the jokes section, I was looking at the article about psychological diseases and obsessions that can be the result of too many battles. And there was a whole paragraph regarding this Snake guy.

"So he's nuts"

You've had two pages dedicated to you, plus a warning of the association of female mercenaries that they'll shoot you if you come within a 5 meter radius.

"Carpetmunchers all of them."

WHATEVER. In any case. Snake goes for the box, finds the RPG launcherr and then you come out and...

"BLAST HIM WITH THE RPG LAUNCHER.... cunning plan!"

...no... then you show yourself as a target, he firest at you, blows himself up and you go get booze and babes.

"Man, this is not my style. Can we skip ahead to the booze and babes."

No... wait, I heard something. Put the box down there where he could see it. and then wait to pop out."

"if you say... ooh what's that..."

[i] Duke no... it's a trap, it must be... it's..."

whoohooo... babes.... go get 'em Duke

"Where were you all that time?"

getting boozed up and getting R&R from some good and bad consciences. Those voices of good and evil ain't got nothing on the voice of testosteron. You fought your mind bravely Duke. I'm proud of you Now move out!

Duke followed the trail of porn pages, coming ever closer to the doomed Nikita.

OOC: As they say in the biz. Maladric take it Awaaaaay.

snake represses a chuckle as the lumbering behemoth strides along the trail of porn, stopping every now and then to pick up the odd superhotty.

"not long now, hehe."

duke reaches the prone weapon, picks it up, and notices there are only two rounds.

befor the duke has a chance to notice anything else about the nikita, snake jumps out of the garbage bin and throws the empty Fa-Mas at mr. Nukem, the weapon glancing off his shoulder.

"oi!" the duke hollers, pointing the nikita at snake.

before snake has a chance to think, his instincts propel him around a corner and out of sight of the duke - too quickly! Nukem hesitates firing, and persues the fleeing stealth soldier.

snake bolts in a random direction, weaving between broken buildings, when he sees his beloved cardboard box ahead, resurrected!

snake dives for the box, and is surprised to find a strange but nonetheless potent looking weapon inside.

performing a perfect battle roll, snake grabs the weapon, and comes to a stop facing the pursueing maniac

"merry fucking christmas!" snake yells, as he squeezes the trigger,


OOC: rand, go for it big man! yeah!/OOC

OOC: Hmmm, now the question is whether we just end it with a climax now or this is just the beginning.

Duke was walking calmly in a green meadow, the sun shining brightly overhead, soft sweet music playing on the background. babes of all hair colors, measurements and turn-ons/turnoffs were waving at him. Alien guts softly squished under his boots.

(Duke was following the trail of porn pages)

Then, there was a glorious sound. Duke looked up and a piece of heavy weaponry looked at him. A Nikita. Duke's mouth went dry.

"I... never had a Nikita before"

The Nikita smiled back. "Well, come on then Duke. I'm yours"

Duke's shivering hands embraced the nikita, his hands clenching the metal.

(he grabbed the Nikita)

"Take me Duke, but I cannot be yours for long, two rockets, that's all I have."

A single tear formed under Duke's shades. Why were it always the good ones with little ammo. Then pain shot trough his shoulder. He looked around and smiled. He'd make the two rockets worth her while. Pursuing the opponent trough the jagged streets he saw him suddenly stopping and aiming a gun at him.

He aimed the Nikita.

He smiled.

He said "Your face, your ass, what's the difference?"

He pulled the trigger.

"dojo, casino, it's all in the mind"

the ringing in his ears woke him up. the world was spinning, and he hadn't even opened his eyes yet.

he could smell singed hair, and someone was cooking a tasty barbeque... no, wait, that was him.

snake warily opened his eyes to slits, the dim light glaring in like neon death. he decided it was wise to close his eyes for a while, at least until the pixies left...

"DAMN PIXIES" someone shouted, the sound feeling like gravel grinding around inside his skull.

snake stopped talking.

through the ringing in his ears, snake could hear sounds and groans that didn't seem to have anything to do with his own pain, amd he rembered there was someone else here, someone going through the same agony he was trying vehemently to blame on those goddamn pixies.

slowly, as the terrible symptoms of nearly blowing yourself to hell and back subsided, snake began to remember the events of the past few hours...or was it weeks?

Otacon had told him to go to an arena, and some musclebound psychopath had asked to get his arrogant freckle kicked in.

after a few less than successful encounters, snake was just about to deliver on this rightous kicking of the maniac's ass, when everything in the world had turned into explosion.

"i hate days like this," snake mumbled, the gravel in his head nearly gone. snake risked another glance at the world, and found that not only was the light bearable, but the pixies had gone home.

"must've found their bananas.." pixies love sticky piss bananas.

as snake slowly rose to his hands and knees, he saw the decimated corpse of yet another cardboard box, another hapless victem, caught in the crossfire. poor box, and she'd been so loyal.

"damn you, god! why must you always take away those we cherish the most?" snake mouned.

it was then he noticed Duke Nukem also attempting to rise to his feet, or at least his knees, and all of snake's frustration and grief focused into one bright beam of animal hatred.

snake labouriously hauled himself to his feet, and began to advance on the prone duke, gritting the teeth that were still in his head, and not scattered willy-nilly on the ground like so many tic-tac's.

"no more running. no more games. we finish this here and now, hand to hand. the winner walks out, you get carried, you piece of steroid-munching dog shit!"

with that, snake mustered all his strength and aimed a solid kick at Nukem's stomach -


OOC: well, ready for the grande finale? you know it's gonna be big 'cos i spelt "grand" with an 'e' /OOC

Drachen steps inside the arena, pausing momentarily to survey those assembled. A small nod and his body shimmers, a he assumes the form and likeness of the half-demon demon hunter from Devil May Cry, Dante.
His long red trench swirls around his legs as he steps inside. His pistols, Ebony and Ivory, the twin, custom made, dual-wielded pistols sit comfortably in their holsters. He never went anywhere without them, and always used them together. His father's sword, the demon blade Sparda hung from his back. The other two demon items were with as well, slid into a small pocket dimension for safekeeping, as well as a number of various guns. Dante walks to the sign in desk, and brushing his white-silver hair back, signs his name on the dotte line, looking around with a small smile.

"Hope I'm not too late."

The Low Down

Name-Drachen
Character-Dante
History- The osn of the Legendary demoin knight Sparda, Dante lived his life wiping out the scum of the demon world who showed up in the human world, Killing them without a bit of mercy. Dante was drawn into the machinations of the Lord of the Underworld by a strange woman named Trish. Sparda had defeated the Lord many centuries ago, andn ow it had fallen to Dante to do it once more. Defeating the powerful demon and his minions, Dante saved Trish, and left the Isle, sentencing the foul beings to imprisonment once again.

Powers-Dante has the ability to transform himself into a demon form, but only while wielding one of the demon weapons- the lightning sword Alastor, the fire gauntlets Ifrit, or the legendary weapon, Sparda. Dante is also stronger, tougher and quicker than a normal mortal, as he is half demon.

Disadvantages- Dante's transformations last only a short time, and his hate of the demonkind may leave him open to manipulation by the right person.

List of Weapons from the game

Ebony and Ivory-paired pistols
Shotgun
Granade Launcher
Needle Gun
Beta-z-demonic laser-type weapon
Force Edge-double edged sword
Alastor-demon weapon, lightning sword
Ifrit-demon weapon, fire gauntlets
Sparda-demon weapon, legendary shifting sword

OOC: Cool, another contender! Wait and we'll have another match after the current one is over.

This fight is fucking cool so far you guys.

Definitely one of the best one in any threads I've read.

I'm gonna have to save this one on my comp./OOC