ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 1:15 am 
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Location: Hell a.k.a. Georgia
Drachen steps into the plush office, looking about. Watching as Deuce demonstrates his pipe to the receptionist, he reminds himself never to piss the man off. Seeing it's his turn, Drachen steps up to the desk...well the two halves of it.

Receptionist: May I help you?

"Uh yeah, I'd like to patent my gift if I could."

R:And it is?

"Um well, I can step out of phase for a short amount of time."

R:What?

"Well like this." The air seems to shimmer like heat waves for a split second, then Drachen is gone, vanished. Precisely ten seconds later, he repears. "See?"

R:Inivisiblity? Gotcha. Just fill these out plea-

"No no, not invisible. Out of phase. It's wierd. I don't really understand it either. But its more than invisible, I'm not physically here naymore, though I can still see everything here, just can't interact with it and can't be seen."

R:Whatever, just fill these out.

Drachen fils out th papers as quickly as possible before heading out, and stoppping at the BB&G to find some old frinds.

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played by fucking lunatics"


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 1:23 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
DONE!

/Chris opens a rift and pulls out an envelope

/Chris begins putting the papers in the envelope

*They all fit for some reason*

/Chris takes the envelope up to the counter and hands it to the receptionist

R: Thank you... Next.

/Chris walks over to the delivery boy

Yeah, the Meatball sub is mine.

/Chris gives the boy money for the sub and a 200% tip

B: Thanks mister!

Yeah, whatever, just keep it down.

/Chris walks over to lilnicky and stands about two feet from him

Could you go in to detail on those powers of yours? And why they aren't patent infringement?

Just wondering,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 2:24 pm 
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Location: what's the question
ok and I haven't seen a lot of anime so now to the powers. I con change into non magicial animals and objects for an hour,3 but then I'm drained and for the backpack, it isn't endless, only enough to fit a 3 story apartment building and have to put things in to take them out :oops:. or is that like Spy's :???: .

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: lilnicky on 2002-05-20 14:35 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 6:03 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
I think your bag is different enough to be okay. Just come up with a name besides rift or deep pocket for how it works.

And your shapeshifting power is different from anyone elses.

Thats all I needed to know.

/Chris walks up to the receptionist

R: *Sigh* What is it now?

I need more forms.

/Receptionist rolls her eyes

R: Fine.

/Receptionist hands Chris another stack of papers

NOTE: Oops, I forgot some of my companions/characters!

Squirrel,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 7:15 pm 
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Location: Floriduh
*Shinjikun strolls in, closely followed by Darth Gendo and First Officer Not Fuyutsuki, and goes over to the front desk*

R: How may I help you?

Umm yeah.. I wanna patent my star cruiser, Pankaku Hime.. oh.. and these two behind me *points to D.G and F.O.N.F*

R: *Hands Shinjikun a stack of papers* Fill these out.

Thanks. *goes to sit down*

Darth Gendo: We'd like to patent the "Evilly Gay Empire" and the "Death Spud"

R: ... Death Spud ...?

D.G: Umm yeah... a giant space station shaped like a potato with a huge laser on it with the power to destroy entire planets with a single shot.

R: ... when, exactly, did you come up with that stupid idea?

D.G: Hmm.. First Officer Not Fuyutsuki, when did we come up with the idea for the Death Spud?

F.O.N.F: Well, sir.. if you'll remember the smoke out.

D.G: Ahhhh yes! The smoke out!

R: Right.. *slams down a huge stack of papers reaching half way to the ceiling* Fill these out.

D.G: *Takes stack of papers* T-thanks.. *finds a seat*

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"You're loud, you cry too easily, and you suck in bed." - Yuki Eiri

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shinjikun on 2002-05-20 19:17 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2002 7:30 pm 
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Grey strolls up past Chris, stopping for a second to steal some mechanical patent forms from him. He stops at the receptionist's desk, lifts the to parts, and seals them together.

"Thanks, now what do you need to patent?"

Grey begins emptying his holsters and such.

"A wampiric sword that actually absorbs blood on the blade, Two swords that magically change length at will, my mdified sniper rifle with different magical bullets... I dunno if True Lycanthropy is patentable, minor sorcery isn't..."

Grey wanders away with a pile of papers, filling them out as he mumbles to himself...

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aka. Marable Vincent, the black squirrel.
Marable's Domain
My train of thought isn't derailed. It's playing in a switching yard.
---begin CRFH!!! code ---
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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2002 4:08 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris' ears perk up

Wampiric?

Hey Grey! Did ya happen to get that blade from a Vampire with an odd lisp?

Oh, and don't steal my papers. I had to deal with the ice queen to get them!

R: I heard that.

Just kidding. He he...

/Chris gets back to filling out forms

Wait...

/Chris opens a rift and three more Chris clones come out

*All six of the Chris' begin filling out papers*

1: This should make things easier.

4: Yeah, for you anyways.

5: Give him a break, he's doin' this for all of us.

3: I need a b33r. Too many papers.

2: And some porn...

6: What?

Confused yet,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2002 7:28 am 
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Location: South of the equator
OOC: I finally remembered something I can patent! /OOC

*UWC D-jumps into the Patent Office.*

The receptionist looks up.

R: I suppose you want to Patent your teleportation.

UWC: What? No, I'm afraid that's not mine to Patent. I'd like to patent this...

*Slaps the Riding Crop (as featured in Moving Target's Initiation) onto the desk.*

R: I believe the riding crop has already been patented, sir.

UWC: Ah, but this is no ordinary Riding Crop...

R:(rolling her eyes)Of course it's not, sir.

UWC: Hey, I'll have you know this Riding Crop (you can tell it's special, coz it's got capitals) is actually a very powerful magic-type wand.

R: (one eybrow raised) Really...

UWC: Yes. Uh, unfortunately it's application seems to be limited to Bondage situations.

R: Oh! Well, in that case...

The Receptionist hands UWC a stack of forms.

For some reason, she doesn't take her eyes off the Riding Crop.

*UWC begins filling out forms.*

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2002 9:24 am 
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Location: ich bin ein Auslander
madadric finishes filling uot the thin seaf of papers and looks around for a moment, trying to figure out what to do with them now.

madadric shrugs, and takes the slim pile of documents to the receptionist. "um, here,"

the receptionist takes the documents and puts them in an 'IN' tray.

"so, uh, when do you finish wor-"

"go away." the receptionist cuts him off.

mad shrugs, and heads for the door. "suit oyurself. i'm off to find some mayhem then."

madadric leaves the patent office, but a presence lingers...it's the rotten egg fart he left behind.

everyone is able to begin breathing again in a few minutes.



OOC: wamphyri from necroscope? they were some cool-ass vampires! if you havn't read them yet, hunt down some or all of brian lumley's books, he's done some based on the cthulu mythos, too. /OOC

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: madadric on 2002-05-21 09:33 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2002 7:40 pm 
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Location: The Hut
/ooc Reading the Titus Crow series by the same author. Excellent bookage...

Damnit TMiB, why did you have to get me back into Lovecraft???
ooc


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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2002 11:04 pm 
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OOC: I read "The Compleat Crow" a while back. He's just so cool! /OOC

*UWC Stretches out his wrist, causing a series of crackles, then continues filling out forms.*

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 2:38 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris1 sniffs the air

C1: Okay, which one of you did that?

C3: It wasn't me!

/Chris4 sniffs the air

C4: That wasn't one of ours.

*FART!*

C5: That one was though!

All of the other Chris: DAMMIT!

C5: Sorry, I had beans for lunch.


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 2:44 am 
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*UWC's nose twitches, then he erects a firey creative shield around himself, burning the air clean.*

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 5:37 pm 
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Location: what's the question
oh, I forgot to patent my hyper-sonic roller blades, extra life dolls,which are activated by my soul and can be used as weapons,and my tri-purpose stuffed animals. They can be minions, give me or use magic, and can turn into weapons.
R: *in a bitchy tone*is that all?!
Me: yes and herehands papers already signed
More papers are given to me
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :evil: :roll:


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 5:41 pm 
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I'm thinking of starting a fighting game RP thread. anyone wanna join :cool: :cool: :wink:

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: lilnicky on 2002-05-22 17:41 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 7:52 pm 
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What were you told about time and place? OUT!

*Picks up lilnicky and dropkicks him from the thread.*

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2002 3:46 pm 
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Location: what's the question
i just wanna say that i can change any of my or anyone in a half a mile's body parts to whatever i can think of. Also, i can use items from my character dolls. Here, I'll show youi bring out a Mai Shuranui(sp?) doll,revive it and take her fans and outfit,leaving her lingerie
dance for the people so they're distracted
M: ok!


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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2002 4:38 pm 
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Location: The butt of the joke Powers:Levitation, yeah.
/Bigmacd uses his power ring to make a green tinted mirror reflect the creepy dancinig doll to its creater. 'Now you must watch'
/Bigmacd's gold chains dangle to low while he is gloating, and cuts off his beam... 'Doh! Note to self, stop wearing gold... nah... give up ripping off bad comics instead'


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PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2002 8:06 am 
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/Actor walks into Patent Office with a Hawk on his shoulder, the Hawk has a cap over its eyes, his black three-piece suit looks lightly out of place as he pushes past an irate delivery boy.

A: I would like to Patent this Bird, a Knife and I have these guns.

R: Okay whats special about the Bird?

A: Her name is Diana, I can see whatever she sees when I let her fly away. She is also trained to fly Ammo and other essential tools to me when working in the field.

R: Okay I'm sure that it took longer to train her than it would have been to get credit with a courier company. Please fill out these forms sir.


/hands him large pile of forms. Actor Grumbles as the pile appears to grow.

A: Did you do that?
/Looks at the other people almost finished their piles.

R: I patented that technique this morning sir.

A: Damn.

/Actor put knife on desk. It glints slightly in the poor quality light of the office.

A: This is Sabre, its a sword that can talk, has hidden poison darts inside and piano-wire built into the handle for swift, silent killings, but the ancient Ninja left it last year and somehow it now contains the spirit of David Hassolhoff, can you send it away, please??

R: No sir, your stuck with it. Now whats so special about the guns?

A: Nothing much, just six guns, 2 H&K P7M13's, 2 Walther PPK-Sds and 2 Berreta Tomcats, when you pull the trigger bullets fly out of them really fast, the ammo is in magazines.

R: Sir I think those have already been patented by their orginal owners.

A: I'm not trying to patent the guns.

R: You aren't??

R: No these are for those PETA bastards if they try to steal Diana from me again.

/Receptionist begins to edge towards the Liquor bottle hidden under her desk kept specially for days like this.

A: Oh yeah can I patent this suit? I think it looks really harsh when in the middle of a pitched battle a guy who looks like a lawyer shows up. It also freaks out guys a McDonalds when I walk in.

R: Sit down sir.

/Drinks slowly like its holy. As Actor walks to a spare chair, the pile starts growing again.

(OOC)First time in an RP forum, sorry for low quality humour.

Actor.


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PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2002 3:18 pm 
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[strolls into recruiting office to the tune of his theme song (see theme song post)]

"Excuse me, I would like to patent a peculiar sort of hammerspace."

:roll: "Another one...?"

:oops: "Well...yeah."

:sad: "What can you bring out of it?"

"Well, pre-WWII personal weapons, ammunition, Old West period clothing..."

"What do you call it?"

"Hamer-space"

"Hamer...?"

"Yes."

"Whatever...Fill out these forms..."
_____________________________________________

Frank Hamer, look it up, it's pretty cool.

http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/onl ... fha32.html


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