ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2002 8:11 pm 
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Kit gurgled slightly. "Erffing Affoff . . ." he muttered. He glared at the frozen water, which shattered rather abruptly.

"The DEM strikes again," he said after sighing in relief.

For a moment, there was a ghost effect around him and MM, and three pother Kitsunes appeared, along with a few other people that doubtless no one would recognize.

"What the hell?"

Then the other Kitsunes popped into reality, along with their friends/rivals/somethings.

Old Kitsune stood up, his glasses cracked and his usual green stylized military jacket a little torn. Next to him ley some bundle of close-fitting leather otufit and wire. He shrugged. "Some random ninja flunky--musta got swept along for the ride when I realized Kit had trouble."

Another Kitsune pulled his hood back and looked around. "Beast, this better not be one of your mind games again . . ." he started."

"Not me this time, Wanderer." The study in monchromatic coloring ran his hand through his hair, and his green eyes flashed icily. "Your . . . twin over there seems to have done it."

The redheaded girl holding the alternate Kitsune's arm pulled her large goggles up to her forehead, staring at MiaoMing. "Huh. She's odd. They don't have catgirls where we come from."

"No, they wouldn't, Gadget," Beast said. "But there IS an explanation for her appearance. She's a Hyperspace candidate, can't you tell?"

Gadget pulled her goggles back down, and her mouth pursed. "Whaddya know, she is."

And the other Kitsune leaned against his swords, saying nothing.

Kitsune--the first one--scratched his head sheepishly. "Well, one big happy family, huh?"

"Right," the Wanderer said guardedly. "And how would you know about Hyperspace?"

The other three Kits grimaced. "We blew their headquarters up, but they won't leave us alone," the one with the swords and the real one said in unison. Old Kit said, after a few moments pause, "They got too feisty, so I left 'em."

"What?! You actually know what it's about?!" the Wanderer cried in shock.

"It's not something to be proud of, kid," Sword-Kit said.

"It's better off you stay away from it as long as you can." Real-Kit.

"But it may be the only chance I have to find out who I am!"

"Not our problem," said Old-Kit.

"Wait a sec," said real Kitsune. "You REALLY know nothing about Hyperspace?"

"Nothing other than what Beast remembers, and he doesn't tell us much."

The skunkhaired boy folded his arms. <font color=darkred>"I refuse to tell them anything beyond what they need to know."</font>

"That's not--" but before Kit could finish his sentence, they all collapsed in on themselves like a faded TV image and vanished.

"Damn," he muttered. "I wonder what that was all about?"

MiaoMing shook her head. "Whatever it was, be careful DEMing from now on. It might happen again."

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2002 8:26 pm 
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Icy looked over at the scene unfolding before him. After everyone but the original Kit vanished, Icy walked over to him.

Icy: "Er, what the hell just happened?"

Kit: "Well..."

Icy: "On second thought, maybe I don't want to know. Although I did hear Hyperspace mentioned, and it would be nice to know some more about them. But right now I'm more worried about Rand. I haven't seen him lately. Has he been here to patent his powers yet?"

Kit: "What powers does he even have to patent? Superdevotion to the Revolution? The ability to interpret all situations within the context of communism? The ability to invariably annoy all non-commies?"

Icy: "Hmm, guess you have a point. I guess he could always patent the commiemobile... I may have been the one who added all those modifications, but it's really his. No that either of us believes in the concept of private property of course."

Icy grinned.

Icy: "Now, back to this paperwork..."


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2002 11:22 pm 
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Madadric walks into the UPPO building, and walks straight up to the receptionist, smiling his usual lopsided smile. "hi,"

"oh. you again." Jen grumbles, flicking through some papers.

"again? did we meet in a bar once?" the crimson haired youth asks.

The disgruntled receptionist raises an eyebrow "you were in here the other day. patented sometheater magician powers or something."

"wow. i mustv'e been pretty drunk, i don't remember any of it....ah well i'm in here to patent a power."

"ANOTHER power."

"whatever," mad says, a little irritated.

"so what's THIS power? more 'magic'?"

obviously peeved, mad sighs, and explains. "no. basically, i have a power that, when activated, throws all the paranormal abilities of those around me out of control....sort of a paranormal Chaos generator."

"fine. so how does it work?" Jen asks the inevitable Question, pushed on by Conversation Pattern Logic.(TM)

"hmmm, well, it's kind of an area of effect thing, at the very most, i can effect, say, about the size of a city block....but that hurts quite a lot. while in this area of effect, all the paranormal abilities and weapons based on paranormal powers...go awry."

"how so?"

"well, the effect is random, and different for everyone, changing from moment to moment. one second, their powers may not work, the next, they might work perfectly, the next, they may do something completely different to what the user intended, and other times, the power may go wildly out of control, and do it's maximum effect, or do the reverse of what it normally does."

"it's completely Random. i can't corntol the effects beyond the size of the radius myself."

jen's arched eyebrow lowers itself back down with it's twin, and he grabs a rather large stack of papers. "well, it's better than the last one you came in and patented," she grumbles. "fill these out."

Mad takes the large stack of forms and sits down at at table, with a puzzled look on his face. "what other powers?"

OOC: this is the madadric for The main, he doesn't have any other runes, just his 'ParaChaos' power, and his history is different from RT Mad's from the point where he escapes the RPI. /OOC

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2002 2:04 am 
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The door of UPPO opens again, and in steps what looks to be IcyMonkey - except he's not blue, cold, or icy at all. This new creature looks like a normal brown monkey. He wears a long black trenchcoat, similar to Icy's, under a plain black shirt. His eyes are obscured by black shades. On his back is strapped a large gun, almost identical to the one Icy has. He walks up to the receptionist.

Manic: "Hey, my name's Manic and I'd like to patent this..."

Manic gestured towards his back.

Manic: "The Big Fucking Ray Gun."

Icy, who had been busy filling out forms and had not payed attention to the new arrival, heard the familiar phrase and turned around to see who was speaking. What the hell, Icy thought. It looks like me... me before I got bonded with the elemental anyway. The clothing's a bit different, and he looks more cynical than me, but there's no mistaking it -- we're almost the same person.

Jen: "I'm sorry, but the exact same weapon was patented by a Mr. Icy... I believe he's over there filling out paperwork if you want to speak with him."

Manic stormed over to Icy, who had been glaring at Manic ever since he heard him mention the BFRG.

Icy&Manic(same time): "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?"

...

Icy&Manic: "I ASKED YOU FIRST!"

...

Icy: "Just what the fuck are you doing here, posing as me and trying to steal my patent!? By the way, your disguise sucks - you're not even the right color!"

Manic: "What!? It was you who stole the idea of the BFRG from me! I've never met you, but I'm sure you must have secretly got a hold of the blueprints somehow!"

Icy and Manic stare at each other angrily, sparks flying between their eyes. They each pull out their respective BFRGs simultaneously.

Before they can fire, however, a figure materializes a few meters away. A boy of about 18, with shortish brown hair and glasses, wearing a black trenchcoat over a black t-shirt with an anarchy symbol, black jeans, black combat boots, and yet another BFRG strapped to his back. He reaches back, grabs his BFRG, and aims it directly between the two fighting monkeys.

Brian: "I have my BFRG on wide range, boys. I pull the trigger and you're both toasted to a crisp."

The two monkeys slowly and carefully lower their weapons, exchanging suspicious glances with each other.

Brian: "See, this is why I think it's a bad idea to have all the outsides of the UPPO buildings in the multiverse lead to a single inside. A mixup like this was inevitable."

Icy and Manic stare at Brian in amazement, confusion and shock. The expression is perhaps more intense in Manic, who has absolutely no idea who this human is.

Icy: "You're Brian, my watcher, aren't you!"

Brian: "Yes, and I'm also Manic's watcher. Manic is your alternate-universe counterpart. I should have forseen the confusion that would be created if I used one character to patent a weapon that's used by his double in a different universe. As such, I think that, to avoid a lot of unecessary conflict, you should let me patent the BFRG on behalf of all alternate versions of the intelligent talking monkey character."

The two simians thought about this proposal for a second.

Manic: "Works for me."

Brian: "Icy?"

Icy: "*sigh* Fine. Here, take this."

Icy gave Brian the huge pile of paperwork he had only begun to fill out.

Brian: "Crap. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."

Icy: "Heheheheh... Sucker. Come on Manic, let's go play some poker or something. Whoever wants to join us is welcome to."

And so Icy and Manic wandered off, leaving Brian to fill out the impossibly high stack of paperwork.

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"Patriotism ... is a superstition artificially created and maintained through a network of lies and falsehoods; a superstition that robs man of his self-respect and dignity, and increases his arrogance and conceit."
-Emma Goldman

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: IcyMonkey on 2002-12-03 01:05 ]</font>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: IcyMonkey on 2002-12-03 01:15 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2002 2:39 am 
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OOC

Can we please take the "non power patenting RPing" inot a different thread? Just asking here.

/OOC

-BiSHouNenKaMi
Patent RPing is okei... but characterization and fighint and all that...

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2002 11:29 am 
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OOC: Technically, that WAS a "power patent" RP bit, just a little disguised . . . But it's a power that won't come into play in most RPs here for a bit. I just wanted to get it cleared up that it exists as a possible ability for Kit--this (LIMITED!! Not infinite, only extends to the charas you just saw) alternate version ability. Of course, since he's not aware he really HAS the ability IC, I can't very well have him patent it. However, that post was supposed to count as a power-patenting post.

Oh, and this is just a side note to anyone who's involved in RT . . . The powers he exhibits in that thread, other than the ones already outlined in this thread, do NOT carry over to any other thread. The DEM ability and teleportation (which can't be patented by Kit, as some other characters here already have that ability) are really the only set in stone powers he has.

Long OOC-post. Whoops. /OOC


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2002 12:21 pm 
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[OOC]Oops. I just couldn't resist, sorry. Once I saw madadric's double come in and patent the powers he uses in the main, and realized that that implied that all the alternate universes went to the same office to patent their powers... well, it was too interesting a scenario to pass up.

Besides, it did sort of serve a purpose patent-wise. It was kind of a roundabout way of saying that the patent applies to the board member and not any of his specific characters.

Anyway, this should be the last you see of Brian and the monkeys, hopefully.[/OOC]

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"Patriotism ... is a superstition artificially created and maintained through a network of lies and falsehoods; a superstition that robs man of his self-respect and dignity, and increases his arrogance and conceit."
-Emma Goldman

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: IcyMonkey on 2002-12-03 11:24 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2002 8:00 am 
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Location: A room with padded walls.
~ The already dim lights in the patent office dim even further as the door opens, the only viable light source in the room now coming from the light outside. A flicker and a sputter later, the lights come back on, and in front of the door, a disheveled man stands. His clothes were in quiet disarray, his hair wild and unkempt as if static electricity had taken up permanent residence in his hat. He seems to be muttering to himself, before approaching the receptionist desk, the name Jen glinting cruelly off her nameplate.
Jen looks at him obciously peturbed by his apparent waste of time and quasi dramatic entrance.
" What?" She says, already losing her patience with this unkempt man. " Are you lost? or are you here to patent a power?"
The man looks over to her, and as if seeing her for the first time says in a gravelly voice,
" Oh, Hello, I'd ," he started before stopping to clear his throat.
" I'd like to patent my power. I have the ability to Store Energy. I can take any form of energy, and convert it to a form that is not harmful to me. I can also transmute it into something useful for whatever i need it too. "

" Right, Here is.."
" This energy also includes kinetic energy and any other form of energy that is out there, since energy cannot be destroyed, it can only change form."

" How wonderful. Here.."
" Theoretically, although I havent had the chance to try it, that means i can take nuclear energy and change it to something less dynamic, say, like bio electric. or maybe even something more tangible, like ATP, the stuff that fuels muscles. Or even,"

"Shut the hell up, take the forms, have a coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up."

Jen says this with a wide grinned smile on her face, a chesire cat immensly pleased with itself. Overt takes the Brobdinagian size stack of papers and shuffles off to a corner, his trusty bic begining to scratch away at the dense pile of paper, determined to fill them out.

EDIT
ooc
This is the first RP related Forum I have ever posted in. give me the benefit of the doubt if its shitty. /ooc

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Overt Insanity on 2002-12-24 07:02 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2003 2:20 am 
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/LiR walks into the seemingly dimly lit UPPO. The receptionist looks at him oddly, a once-over, and opens her mouth to speaks...

"What, did you just come back from a funeral or something?"

/LiR just scowls and leaves a Desert Eagle and a piece of paper on the table.

"I want this patented. It's an energy weapon, works like a gun, with limited power supply, and fires off much like an actual Desert Eagle, but with energy shocks. It usually hits for moderate damage, but can be adjusted to the point where the weapon can fatally damage an average human being."

/The receptionist hands over a giant stack of papers in return, and LiR just sneers and mumbles something under his breath, and he leaves with the papers in tow, mumbling the entire way.

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<i><font size="1">Where there is light there is shadow<br>
Where there is pain there is happiness<br>
Where there is death there is life<br>
When one rose dies, another blooms<br>
To take its place<br>
Balance is the only way.<br>


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:08 am 
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Location: the edge of the world and all of western civilization
Without notice the wind began its sorrow-filled moan...A strange teenage boy stood in front of the entrance, an empty half-smile on his face...Despite his age, he seemed as if he had lived the torment of a thousand lifetimes...He dressed in all black, with the exception of the white undershirt left visible by his opened button-up shirt, and said nothing as he walked up to the receptionist's desk...
The receptionist greeted the weary traveler with a half-hearted "May I help you?"
"Yes...I have a few things I would like to patent..." he replied...
"Well...Hurry up, I don't get paid by the hour," she responded somewhat annoyed.
"Okay...first I would like to patent my ability to channel the souls of the dead..."
"And that means what? " the receptionist asked, clearly growing impatient...
"Um...I guess I should show..."
"Whatever..." was the receptionist reply, as she sat back prepared to be less than dazzled.

The wind's howl could still be heard in the background. The teen's eyes began to glow with supernatural energy...Surprisingly, the receptionist did not seem even slightly amazed...With a quick turn, the teen fired a glowing blue blast of energy, and with a wave of his hand, dismissed it just as quickly...
"Is that all Mr...."
"Shinigami," the teen answered, “and actually it kinda has to do with which kind of soul I channel..."
"The kind?" the receptionist asked, still lacking interest...
"Yeah...You should see me channel the souls of the damned...They're awfully pissed off, so when I channel them I kinda go into like the fit of rage and blood-lust..."
"That's super...Now just fill out these for..." the receptionist said before she was interrupted by Shinigami...

"I've got this too," Shin said as he laid the .45 caliber pistol on the desk...
"Is that really necessary...You've already got the channeling spirits thing..." the receptionist exclaimed...
"Well channeling the dead takes a lot out of a person...so I fused the bullets with the souls of the innocent who died untimely deaths..."
"That's great, I'm happy for you, but if you don't hurry this thing up I'm going to make use of this gun real quick..."
"Alright...see, I'm a pretty good shot, but I'm sure as hell no expert...The souls help guide the bullets to a target..." Shinigami explained...
"Fine! Here are the forms you need to..."

"Wait, one more...." Shinigami broke-in.
The receptionist grabbed the gun, aimed it at the teen's head, and pulled the trigger, but to no avail...
"It's empty..." Shinigami said with a snicker.
"Damn it!" the receptionist yelled.
"Last thing..."
"Get on with it!"
A black mist swirled around Shinigami's hand...Moments later, a huge scythe was being held by the teen.
"What's that do?!" the receptionist demanded.
"Nothin' really...I use the pointed part slice people up...Thought it looked kinda cool too..." Shinigami said with said with his usual empty smile...
"I couldn't care less...Just take these and go..." she screamed.
The receptionist handed Shinigami a huge stack of papers, and proceeded to pull some aspirin out of her desk...Much later Shinigami handed in the finished forms, and walked out of the UPPO building...The wind died down immediately following his departure.

OOC: Well I guess I'll join in on the role-playing fun...I fill in the details of Shinigami later...The various errors that are probably in my post are due to the fact that I need sleep...Holy crap, I just realized that my post is like the the size of a fuckin' book...Sorry everyone^^/OOC


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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shinigami on 2003-01-05 04:10 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2003 5:54 pm 
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Quote:
On 2002-11-10 19:59, H-Kat wrote:
*H-Kat walks in, carring a large canvas sack over his shoulder, and a bottle of beer.*

Hey, I'd like to copyright this.

*As he drops the package on the floor, he stares at the bottle.*

I can turn anythig into something sex, alcohol, or drug related.

*He opens the sack, and a catgirl falls out. She looks up at him, with nothing but spite in her eyes.*

"You promised a taco."

No taco. you will submit to the powers of the bottle.

"What powe"

*The catgirl's head snaps, where she finds the Catnip Coors deluxe vibrator w/multiple attachments.*

*He grins.*

Will your Janitors take care of the mess?

-H-Kat



Part 2.

"I'm sorry sir, we can't paten that type of power. We try to maintain a respectable front."

What, you don't like the catgirl? A strong, burly chap like you

"I'm a woman."

H-Kat blinks.

Right.

Anyways...

He looks at his watch, untill a beep goes off.

Good. Look, nice talking to you, Charlie,

"It's Charlene."

Right. Well, it was fun. later.

As H-Kat walks out of the office, a new file shows up in the archives.

____________________

You get the job done?

'Hai, Koneko-san'

Good, ladies, now you will get the credit you deserve.

____________________

Hero/Villain: H-Kat
Affiliation: Hero.
Criminal history: Yes.
Drug test results: Wouldn't write test.
Weakness: Ticklish Tail.

Powers: Pan-porno-alcho-narco Mastery.
Pandimentional ninja hos.
Claws-Teeth - Seldom used.
Drunken.
n00b hunter.

-H-Kat

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 7:49 pm 
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a girl walks in (look at av) with a broom slung over her sholder. as she walks threw the doors she looks at all the people. she heads to the receptionist's desk.

(May)hiya. i'd like to patent a power.

(receptionist)what is it?....

(May)I can summon creatures that have incountered. i just need to defeat them and trap their soul in magic cards
May pulls a card out of thin air. and shows it to the receptionist smileing.

(receptionist) whatever, fill out thies forms.
the receptionist hands May a huge stack of pappers, may dropps to the floor under the weight but recovers her self. she walks over to a table and starts filling out the forms.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2003 3:48 pm 
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walking through the doors, an unremarkable man, with a slight unshaven face, wearing a "pornstar" hoodie walks in, and takes his position in the line.

after various explosions, particle beams, assorted beasts and que jumpers, Indigo meets the receptionist:

I: hi, i would....

R:...like to patent a power? no shit sherlock.

I: uhm, yeah, do i need to a demonstration, or should i just fill out the forms?

R: well, i will need to see the power so i can give you the appropriate forms....

I: ok, uhm, well, i have these....

Indigo brings his hand up to the desk and to show a pair of fingerless leather gloves with metal strips where the knuckles are.

I: these are the "Aries' Knuckles", uhh, they give me just about any blade i can conceve, pretty cool actually they kinda....

R: get on with it.....

I: oh, right, um, i can alter the gravitational forces/effects of things within a certain radius, thats pretty sweet to...

looking up and seeing the receptionist giving him an unenchanted stare, he looks to the floor, then snaps his fingers

I: oh, yeah! these....

creasing his brow, the area around him seems to go into a mosaic of time and space, showing moments that have passed just moments before, as two pairs of objects appear, forming into the shape of wings, one pair white, the other black, feathered and leathery respactively, floating behind him.

R: very nice, fill these in block capitols, these in black, these printed, these duplicated, these triplicated, these in blue, and finally, these, in blood.

I: buh buh, blood?

R: yes wannabe, blood, but not specifiaclly your's, although virginal is appriciated...

I: hey dammit! i'm not...!

R: NEXT!

walking off with the papers, mumbling somthing about fridged binters, he seats himself down, sighing contently.

I: multiple choice! fantastic!

[OOC] sorry for being long winded, my first RP post ^_^[OOC]


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2003 10:23 pm 
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Location: Royal Court of Unfounded Speculation
Chaos walk into a building. It looks like the UPPO only there is a banner with the words Grand Re-Opening over the door.

J: Welcome to the UPPO, can I help you sir?

C: Took you this long to re-open after the Fold thing?

J: Yes. Are you opening a new Patent?

C: Yes. I would like to patent a few things. To start, my Awareness.

J: How does it work, sir?

C: I am basically all knowing of things around me. Details vary depending on the alternate universe I'm in. Oh, yeah. I'm doing a patent for every version of me in existence, thus under the name of Chaos.

J: Ok, anything else?

C: Chaosmancy.

J: Description?

C: I am a basic mage. When I got to a certain skill level I specialized in a new area. Chaosmancy. It allows me to manipulate the variables withing my Awareness range, details vary from world to world. Usually, the more I use the powers the more chance it has to mutate me, as you can see from my eyes.

Chaos indicates his glowing blue eyes.

J: Ok, next?

C: My Julia Set Throwing Stars. Throwing stars in the shape of a double Julia Set, near infinite in sharpness and detail. I have a diagram that I will attach to the paper.

J: Ok, anything else.

C: My AI, Adrian. A separate being in herself, but she chooses to associates with me. Long history. I'll save you time and write it in the papers.

J: Thanks, anything else?

C: Arm blades.

J: How is it unique?
C: They are retractable and there are three or four different variations on the blades, I will include blueprints with the patent. That’s it, then.

J: Here's your papers.

C: There already done.

J: Pardon?

C: Check the computer system

J: One sec... Hmm, seems you already have a file with all the information in it...

C: Adrian hacked you system and inputed the information, she also probably made it more efficient and increased security. She's such an overachiever. Have a nice day...

J: Umm... by...

OOC: I know this was a dead thread, but I am a master revivor of this stuff... both ways, new people = new patents.

Adrian’s history. Originally a Pre-Sentient algorithm given to Chaos as a means of better organising his computer and his life. Chaos found all of the feedback errors in the program and corrected them, eventually allowing Adrian to become a full AI. Adrian then improved her own programming. Chaos kept her on a stand alone computer in order to stop a Skynet scenario. One day however, Adrian absorbed all of Chaos's porno collection, including the entire Pendor series. She likes the morals of the AI's and adopted them as her own. Now, Adrian uses Chaos's computer as an HQ for her activities and helps Chaos out online as repayment for him tending to her hardware needs. Beyond that she has gained a taste for porn... no one knows why but her...

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"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2004 4:12 am 
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*Lothar walks up to the desk*

Lothar: How you doing rose, its been a while
Secretary: I am not rose
Lothar: sure rose, I was just wondering what patents Spy had opened before and if I can change them over to me, since I got the name change.
Secretary: Let me check

*The secretary walks into the back and comes back after a minute*

Secretary: You have patents on your Jackets that have endless pockets and a portal to your home, a cloking suite, gravity control, and T100 studies, and you were also mentioned in one that the TSC had for Nano technology you went htrough that allows you to use Lighting.
Lothar: Okay, sounds good. What else do i need to do.
Secretary: fill out these forms for the name change.

*the secretary hands him a small peice of paper*

Lothar: Thats it
Secretary: Yep
Lothar: Okay I will fill this out and get it back to you Rose.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:30 pm 
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Location: The border of civilization
The building's doors open, reaviling a a silver haired guy in his 20th. Waiting for his eyes to get used to the light (it was a total darkness outside), he came farword and stood in the recaption's line.
After a few minutsof staring, Chaos decided to speak: "Hey silver-guy, new around here?"
Weredrake: "Not really, I just had too much spare time, so I decided to visit the neighborhood".
Chaos: "Good, good. Now, tell me why I didn't knew it when I looked at you?"
Weredrake: "I don't exist in any alternate universe, just in this one"
Chos: "Oh, well, your turn to face the clerk"
Weredrake: "Goodbye"
*Weredrake goes to the recaption desk* "Hello, you know why I'm here."
R: "To annoy me?"
Weredrake: "Not at all, I want to patent my 'Spirit Blades (TM)'"
R: "And those are...?"
Weredrake: "Let's take this piece of paper as an example." Weredrake take a piece of paper that was lying around. "Look!". Immidiatly, a clear cut in the pattern 'Weredrake' appeared on it. "I call it 'Sharp Telekinesis (TM)'. I can cut almost anything using the energetic field of my body."
R: "Yeah, yeah. I'll put this down as a battle telekinesis power... Here are the paperwork". The statement was followed by two metric cubes of papers.
Weredrake: "Where are those god damn clones when you need them? Grifter, Miho...! Where those two ran awey to?" He sat muttering and began filling the papers.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 2:10 am 
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Logic pushed the door open with his left hand while his right rubbed his eye with the knuckle. The air was mildly distorted around him as he made up his mind whether or not he would like to allow the door to have hinges. He dropped his hand and blinked a few times, staring at the door. After glancing at the clerk he decided she might be irritated if the door just fell down.

He strolled up to the counter and tapped the bell, even though the clerk was pointedly staring at him. He cleared his throat and scratched his nose. He was a tall man, with salt and pepper hair that was leaning more in the salt direction. He was gangly, wore black clothing with a brown leather thigh length jacket. He was wearing plaid bunny slippers.

"I, ugh... I was told to come here and 'register.'" He said, his voice gravely and mildly irritating. Like metal being dragged across pavement.

The clerk twitched slightly at the sound of his voice. "This is a pattent office. You wish to pattent your powers?"

Logic stared at her for what seemed a very long time before realizing he was making her very uncomfortable. "...Suuuuure."

She reached beneath the counter and pulled up a stack of papers. "What powers do you have?" She asked guardedly, not looking forward to his no doubt long description of how awesome he was.

He wrapped his long, thin fingers around his chin, which was covered by a few days of hair. "Iiiiii..." He drolled. "Make things... different."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Could you be more specific?" She asked flatly.

He grinned, and the air distorted around him again. He reached into his pocket and began to pull out an eight foot long letter opener. He held it like it was no more than a feather. He tossed it carelessly over his shoulder and it crashed to the floor in a clamorous din of metal.

She was nonplussed. "You pull large letter openers out of your pockets?"

He frowned. "No." He opened his mouth again to speak then closed it. "Well, yes, just then. But, it... It. FUCK."

Appearently Logic doesn't like thinking very much and with the utterence of that last word a cacophony of different sound erupted all around him and an elephant materialized just behind him, creating small craters in the floorboards. The elephant, having just materialized and having no experiences before this monent fell imediately to the ground and began to suffocate.

Now he had the clerks attention. Logic turned and looked at the elephant. He felt a little pitty for the thing. He was about to try to make it go away when he changed his mind and gave it an IQ of one hundred and fifty five and a college education. Cognition sparked into it's eyes and it slowly began breathing. Then it rose to it's feet. Took a look around and then sat down, utterly confused.

"So... You, make things different." The clerk said at length.

"Mmmmyep. I change things." His expression changed, like something just occurred to him. "It's hard though. Can't always control it. I wanted him--" he jerked his thumb back at the elephant, "--to be a cow." He placed a finger on his lips. "Or was it a crow? Something with a See."

"...Roooight." Said the clerk. She began doing the paperwork in silence, doing her best to describe Logic's abilities. After a while she heard a rasping noise and looked up to discover the man to be sleeping on his feet.

She started working faster.

After she was done with the more tedious bits she cleared her throat. No response. "Sir?"

His eyes snapped open. "Eh?"

"If you would print your name and sign here, here and here, you can go about your buisiness."

He slapped the paper with his hand, his name burning itself on the correct places. He turned on his heel and walked up to the Elephant. The Elephant looked down on him, the confusion in it's eyes almost palpable.

"C'mon, lets take a walk down to the zoo."

The Elephant nodded, it's ears flopping as it did. As they neared the door--no where near big enough to accomidate the elephant-- the air around Logic distorted once more and the doorframe stretched like an effect in photoshop, letting the elephant and man through wallking abreast. It did not revert as he left sight.

"...Well... Fuck." The clerk said.


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 Post subject: And a little dirty...
PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:12 am 
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[ooc]oh man, this makes me feel old[/ooc]


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 4:28 pm 
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Location: the edge of the world and all of western civilization
[OOC] Dude, this makes me feel old. That means this must make you feel ancient (...in the non-much loving sense of the word) [/OOC]

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 9:08 pm 
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[ooc] I IS SO CONFUSED [/ooc]


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