ZOMBIE FORUMS

Hence I think that I qualify to join in on some!

Are there any rules to this sinfully fun looking practice? Or do you guys just go..



/LORD-POOP KIKS D00DMASTA IN TEH FAYS.

/D00DMASTA BITES LORD-POOP IN TEH PAENIS, OCH!

/KILLRMAN PUNCHES D00DMASTA AND HE FALS DWON CRIING! "HAHHAHAHAHAHA U SUK" SED KILLRMAN.

"NO I DIDNT! I BALSTED U WIF MI LAZRGUN B4 TAHT!"

"NO SUTPID N00B UR DED NWO BCUZ I SED SO"

"FUX0R U KILRMAN!"

"O YA BICH?"

"YA!"

"GUYS DOWNT ARGU, UR SUX 4 ARGYUNG!"

"SUHT PU KUM KACHER I R TAWKING 2 D00DMASTA"

"O OK"



Or is it more civilized than that? I'm a writer, so I'm afraid I'm no good at emoting things in present tense... But if one of you JERKS would care to explain it to me, and then do whatever else you want to incite an altercation, please do.

Thanks for your help d00dz. Helping ppl 0wt r0x0rz ur b0x0rz.

Oh, and I promise not to go in 'one certain direction' as I do the RP'ing. Hehe.

More civilized.

Well, we hope so, at least.

I suggest you check out TSC's School of Higher RP Learning; it contains most of the guidelines that we (well, at least most of us) try to follow.

P-M

-><-

You have a lot of hostility issues to work out, don't you?

Hehe, well either way it's probably fun.

But where's this TSC's School of Higher RP Learning? You piqued my curiosity.

That's it, Mark! I've taken enough of your guff!

/Flux swings at Mar...

"Hey! Ice cream!"

/Flux instead gets ice cream.



<i>And let that be a lesson to all of you.</i>

I am the smartest man ever. Ignore what I just said, Pyromancer.

Okay.

P-M

-><-

Allright you festering bags of dog-snot! Rather than make a new thread to this function, I will use this thread for the first offense of my stay here.

I challenge someone, who could be anyone, to an RP duel!

However, a there are a few incredibly verbose rules that I must decree to suit my conditions for battle.

1) This is not serious. There is no notoriety or title to be held in this fight. If it's even going to be a fight at all. I'm looking for someone who will have fun with me, and not overdo bonebreaking, and acting all dark and dangerous. Goths or goth wannabes need not apply, unless they choose to adhere to the said conditions.

2) At random, I may be prompted to jump threads, at which time, you will be informed of which thread the fight has jumped to, and we will have to continue our titanic struggle there. But only because I doubt one single thread can handle such a tremendous battle. And it gives the battle a "Blazing Saddles theme"... However, for decency's sake I will only jump into dead threads, if I even do at all. I'm sure other people wouldn't appreciate two people running through their active thread, being a general nuisance.

3) My four foot long penis of death will stay in my pants. As long as yours does too.

4) Digimon sucks.

5) You have to pretend that you're a girl, and you have to wear a pink tutu.

6) Killing is not allowed. I don't like killing OR dying. And dying is just no fun at all. I'm terribly sorry to say, but I have no clones of myself in storage.

7) Prepare to warp reality, real world physics don't apply, as also the God modding rules don't really apply too sternly. Except for the killing and sheist Post lengths and numbers of actions aren't an issue, as long as it's fun/funny in some way.

Anyone feels up to these overly numerous, but UBER fun-friendly rules, (being the ones I used to use on another forum, where egos were seldom damaged.) Please, I bade you to take the first shot.

Are you drunk?

ok, flux, this might be fun. (if you dont know, in keenspot forums im known as Tetsueo Shima, the reincarnation of lord akira) *tetsueo lifts his right hand, flux looks around in amazement as he is too, tetsueo drops all fingers but one, the pointer finger, he twirls it around, flux spins accordingly, tetsueo stops, but keeps him held in mid-air* "had enough yet?" tetsueo taunts. "you...just..wait..until in get down...from..here" an out-of-breath flux gasps. "guess not" tetsueo replys. *tetsueo raises flux even higher, then slams him down onto the dry ground, then collapses the ground underneath him, and he falls into a cavern below, stunned by the 50ft fall, he lasy there, tetsueo floats up, and motions with his hands into a fist, all of the sudden the cavern implodes, flux is now badly hurt, and covered by 10tons of dirt* "heh heh heh, its all in a days work of a god" tetsueo says as he wipes the dust off of his hands.

madadric looks up at the big hole in his ceiling, and sees a rather wild looking character with a tattered red cape standing at the lip of the hole grinning.

"man, that was my roof." he looks at his desk, scattered with papers withg odd sigils scrawled all over them. he begins trying to tidy up the mess, but there is'nt much hope, dust from the fallen debris is making the attempt to clean pointles, yet amusing.

"aw man, dust everywhere, and just when i get some visitors too..."

madadric turns as his second guest rises from the rubble in the center of his dank, cozy little cave.

OOC: at home my room was refferred to as the dungeon...only fitting my alter-ego actually lives in one /OOC

*BiShou enters, stepping from the shadows and looks around, smiling*

And thus we have... a new concept.

I like this idea of a chase through other threads, and don;t mind it going into the live ones, on condition...

Each person posts only ONCE in the thread entered... to come in, and to leave, making it a chase through the thread, not into... just as a quick depart from the theme of the thread, quickly to return, and not to offend...

Do not interract with ANY of the goings on in the other thread, save for minor inconsequential scenario items; i.e. trash cans, pipes, breaking windows... things that in no way change the outcome of the battle at hand...

Always return here for actual battle sequences, as to do battle in the middle of someone elses fight would seriously piss them off, and since we are in Chris's section, he can and will remove you if forced to.

Other than that, I have no qualms... *nods*

Now, carry on... *BiShou nods and smiles, awaiting reactions*

-BiShouNenKaMi
I love those old Chuck Jones cartoons...

"Using God powers eh?" Flux coughed under the immense weight of a whole lot of dirt. "Figures. When given you remove rules, those who can't control themselves, don't choose to."

"GYARADOS! I CHOOSE YOU!" Flux summoned his mighty Pokemon friend.

"GYARADOS!" Gyarados asked Flux.

"I need you to help me dig my way out of this pile of rubble that I am buried under! Quick! Here's a shovel!"

"GYARADOS!" the pokemon explained, as he then went to consult the pokemon union for billing rates and zoning permissions.

"You know... I can dig you out of there if you want." Madadric offered.

"Nah, He'll be quick about it." I explained. "He's in a union."




*4 days later*




"ARGH! It's about freaking time!" Flux cursed the lumbering dragon.

"GYARADOS!" Said Gyarados. As he then began to shovel the rubble away.



Meanwhile, above the spectacle, where Tetsueo was...


"This is ridiculous. I'm bored!" Tetsueo said, "Do I get another turn? I want to use more of the ridiculous and unfair powers that I've been granted!"

"No." Said fight-moderator-judge-man. "But if you ask me, I think you agreed to the wrong set of rules."

Tetsueo sighed and rolled his eyes boredly.

Seven hours after Gyarados started shoveling, he was finally done. And the bill came out to 340 dollars.

"Here's your stupid money." Flux scowled at the overpaid union worker. "Go get addicted to cocaine or something. Jerk."

"GYARADOS!" It said as it left for the Pokebar.


"Are you done yet?" Tetsueo asked Flux from his upward vantage.

"No. I still have to reimburse Madadric for the damage to his ceiling!" Flux yelled back up to the lazy and irresponsible demigod.

"Now, I'll just need to ask you to fill these forms out..." Flux said, procuring the IRS out of his magical pocket.



*Seven months later*


"HJDSKSHDKSHD?" Asked Madadric, driven completely insane by the form filling.

"KHJSDKJHDSKJHD!" Said Flux. They both laughed. I have yet to discover why.


"HEY! I've been standing here for SEVEN MONTHS!" Tetsueo impatiently yelled down at the two nutcases. "Can I go YET?"

"I don't know if you're going to like what I have to say." Fight-moderator-judge-man interrupted. "But I think he's trying to force you to lose, through old age."

"What?!" Tetsueo began pitching rocks down at the two. "Stop this and fight me!"

Flux looked up irritatedly, "LSHDKJSH" he said. Madadric harrumphed.

Then Flux shook his head. "Oi vey... He's right. I'd better get down to the fighting before any more distractio-..."


POW! The Nazi army marched right in through Madadric's front door before Flux could finish his sentence.

"Son of a..." Tetsueo's protest was drowned out by the roar of clicking boots and German soldier-obscenities.


"You go fight Tetsueo," Madadtric told Flux with a mad glint in his eye, "I'll handle these puds."



And with that, Flux jumped out of the hole and POUNDED Tetsueo in the face with a vicious haymaker. Tetsueo was then thrown backwards through ten concrete walls, and then was crushed under the fat and smelly bottom of Flux's friend, Hank.

"Thanks Hank!" Flux said, running the opposite way. "I owe ya one!"

"No problem, Flux. You delivered my wife's baby, you don't owe me anything!" Hank saluted the escaping hero, as the hero ran to a less destructable area...



But where was Flux going? What about Madadric and the Nazis? Did Tetsueo ever get out from under Hank? HOW LONG WAS I GOING TO MAKE THIS FREAKING THING?

Find out when someone else continues this!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Flux on 2002-05-22 02:03 ]</font>

OOC: He he, your first post was funny.

But please, never use pokemon on the forums again.

I hate those little bastards.

Oh, and don't expect me to get in a tu tu./OOC

*Shots are heard outside of the Madadric Cave followed by an explosion*

/Chris busts through the door and lobs a grenade back through the door

*A pikachu walks through the door frame*

P: Pika?

AAHHHH!!!!!!

/Chris unlodes three machine gun clips in to the pokemon and then relaxes

/Chris looks around as everyone's attention is turned on him

What? I'm a Poke-Exterminator on the weekends.

*A squirtle walks through the door*

Sawed off Shotgun, I choose you!

/Chris pulls out ashotgun and shreds the pokemon

I hope thats the last of 'em...

Who was the one that used the pokemon?

*Everyone points at Flux*

Flux, I know your new to this. Just please, no more pokemon.

EVIL,
The Sinister Chris

Drachen steps in, looks around, whistles, slaps a big sticker on Chris's chest that read "#1 Pokebuster" and steps out, heading for who knows where...

god powers? no no no, i am Tetsueo Shima, from the movie Akira, they are not god powers, they are just simple telekinetic powers. even non-movie people have them, just not to my extent. if you wnat to know anything about my character, go watch Akira.
and by what you were challenging, it sounded like a war threat, i had no intention of making this one, just accepting your challenge. anyways, back to the fight...

*stuck under hanks fat ass, tetsueo simply levitates hank off of him, holding hank in mid-air, tetsueo smirks* "that the best you got?" tetsueo taunts. "try this on for size" tetsueo threatens. *tetsueo teleports flux to a far away solar system, the sun of that system is about to supernova, flux is on the planet nearest the sun* "you should be happy, alot of astronemers would kill to see what your about to expeirience. oh and plus, i hate pokemon" tetsueo tells flux telepathically. *the sun goes supernova, flux is engulfed by the blast* "ahhh....hopefully he learned something" tetsueo says to the on-looking audience as he is walking off.

Flux looked up from his excited and speedy running to see an owl flying overhead. It dropped a small letter which Flux attempted to catch, but missed.

Picking the letter up from the ground, he examined the emerald ink addressment on the front and quickly came to a conclusion.

"Zounds!" He said, "This is from the ministry of magic! I certainly hope that Hogwarts isn't in danger!"

The owl flew by and pecked him on the head. Then it dropped a sticky-note which Flux also failed to catch, "Idiot." the sticky-note said, "That's from Chris. Just open it."

"Zounds!" Flux said again. "I'd better open this letter!" And so he did.

<i>"Dear Flux,

No more Pokemon. They r sux.

Sincerely,

THE SINISTER CHRIS!"</i>


"You heard him Gyarados, I guess you can't be my sidekick anymore." Flux revealed the terrible truth to his long time friend.

"GYARADOS!" said Gyarados sadly, as he moped off into the nothingness.

"Oh damn.. I've forgotten everything that I was doing!" And so, Flux stood around idly trying to remember what he was doing, like a bum.


OOC: Gotcha Chris man, I actually kind of knew Gyarados wouldn't be taken too well.... Since nobody likes Pokemon but me... *sniff*

/Soulfly comes out of no where

Blah!

/Soulfly takes up a chair and sits

Just here to watch. *laughs evily* Um... never mind that evil laugh... *did they notice?*

/End

apart from a few grenade explosions and the well-executed deaths of some foul spawns of merchandising, madadric's attention was mainly concentrated on the army of nazi's stomping all over his perfectly dusty carpet.

"quit trackin' mud all through my home, you racist arian fuckers!" he growled, as his finger began tracing an intricate symbol in the air, which glowed fainly red.

as he finished the inscription in the air in front of him, madadric spoke a sound which, theoretically, should not be able to be made with a human throat. "!!T$T*II$VVFV**%%#$#@GDGDFHvgdfDF#Vbcv$D!!"

the symbol took great pleasure in springing into it's short and explosive life, shooting forward as gouts of dark crimson flame and engulfing the "army of those who were just misunderstood" and sending them strolling down the path of the afterlife on down to Hell for Nazi's, a place where you can't buy icecream and everyone thinks your race is inferior to them in every way.

in Nazi Hell, it's true. everyone a nazi meets is smarter, faster, stronger, and has a larger penis than him.

satisfied with the prompt anihilation of the dirty mud-trackers, madadric wiped a trail of blood from under his nose, and proceeded in scrawling small runes to put out all the fires he had started in his home. "gotta remember: fire burns stuff...i always forget that..."

BAD TIMING! CRAP! You posted a nanosecond before I could. O WEL!

Anyways, pretend that my thread came before yours, Loki. That will fix it all. And I was dumb to misunderstand your character being Tetsuo from Akira. Hehe, I shoulda known it.



-------------


"This is ridiculous." Flux said as the blaring heat of a billion-jillion degree supernova went in his face. Thank goodness that Flux remembered to put on his SPF ONE-MILLION sunblock.

The resulting tan he got made every Californian beach-bum in the world, envious.

"Hmmm... I can't teleport... I can't call a cab... I can't fly... OH WAIT!"

"GYARA... no.." Flux avoided calling his trusted, yet banned friend.

<i>Hmm.... I wonder if my lungs are going to explode, being that I'm in the dead of space now?</i> Flux thought to himself. But the decompression he expected never happened.

Just then, a space car came by, and noted Flux's condition. Pulling over to the side of... space.... and opening the back door, the driver called to him.

"I noticed you're being badly burned by a supernova! I could offer to give you a ride if you want?" the guy inside said kindly.

"Thanks!" Flux said, entering the car. "I need to go to the circus!"

"Why do ya need to go there?" the driver asked him.

"So I can get an elephant." Flux said, narrowing his eyes.



--At the circus--


"I do love circuses." Tetsuo Shima said as he licked a cotton candy on a stick. Nobody really knows why or how he was at the circus all of a sudden, but I think it had a bit to do with the rules of the game that he agreed to.


"POW!" Said Flux's fist, as it cracked Tetsuo in the face again. He was sent through another ten concrete walls, and then was crushed by an elephant that sat on him.

"Thanks Elephant! I owe you one!" Flux cheered.

"No thanks necessary, friend. You gave me a peanut!" The elephant replied.

"Ahh peanuts. Is there anything you and I can't accomplish together?" Flux asked his bag of peanuts, as he then ate one, just as it was about to inform him that Tetsuo was about to get up and telekinetically maul him again.




*CRUNCH!* This was the sound of Tetsuo eating a bowl of crispix.

*CRACK!* This was the sound of Tetsuo hitting a homerun at the ball game.

*WHAM!* This was Tetsuo slamming a dictionary against his desk in school. As he was frustrated that he could not find the definition of a certain word.

*BOOOOM!* And this was Tetsuo exploding the entire area that Flux occupied with his crazy mind powers. Flux was blown backwards in some obscene cloud of smoke and debris, and then he hit the ground, and didn't move.


"I WIN!" said Tetsuo happily. He was about to run up to Flux's body and kick him. But he realised that Flux was no longer on the ground, so to be kicked.

"?" Asked Tetsuo.

"ZZAAAAPPP!" Was his reply. Tetsuo barely enabled his telekinetic deflection in time, just as a laserbeam came from out of nowhere, and cut across Tetsuo's back.

"Okay tough guy.... We'll do this MY way now!" Flux said, now standing in a stupid looking red jacket with a pill symbol on the back, as he charged his lasergun up for a second shot.

Flux then got on his cool bike, and rode off as fast as he could.


--------------------------------------------

Of course, since my turn is now officially over, I guess we'll be doing it YOUR way. Hehe.