ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
It is currently Thu Sep 20, 2018 10:19 am

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 37 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2
Author Message
 Post subject: Glad I got back before it was too late to join!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 2:59 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 1214
Location: Royal Court of Unfounded Speculation
Despite some initial temptation to go with Icy's suggestion of "a stereotypical cockney prostitute wench," I decided on this guy instead. ;-)
_____

Name: Jonathan "Will" Willoughby

Occupation: General weirdo and itinerant bricklayer.

Appearance: Usually unkempt, with wild brown hair and light brown eyes. Owns a wardrobe of rumpled shirts and patched pants, most of which fit fairly well but have obviously seen much wear. Just doesn't care enough to put more time into the way he looks. Stands 5' 4" (a height he's maintained for the last 15 years since an early growth spurt at age 12) and is of just slightly above-average build and strength.

Personality: Quite affable and pleasant, though not terribly popular due to his unorthodox leanings. An ardent supporter of the Cult of Unfounded Speculation, Will talks the ear off of just about anyone who'll listen, and many who won't. Frequent victims include Edward Alexandros (who he is constantly trying to rope into helping him get his rants published), Dr. Malcolm Conant (whose ire toward the Cult of Unfounded Speculation is probably at least halfway due entirely to the incessant pestering of this one individual), and anyone who hires his services as a brick layer. He tries to avoid Kaul Wardon as much as possible, both because the man's smoking habit causes his emphysema to flare up and because of a few unpleasant stories regarding what the Captain has done when faced with those who do not kowtow to the cult of Godless Commie Traitors, who Will personally considers to have betrayed their rightful allegiance to the Crown.


EDIT: Tweaked a bit of wording just for fun.

EDIT #2: Added that last bit of the last line.

_________________
Only try to realize the truth...
There is no spoon. Then you will realize
that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.


"Only he who attempts the absurd
is capable of achieving the impossible."
 - Miguel de Unamuno


Last edited by Yevaud333 on Mon Jul 21, 2003 5:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 8:42 am 
Offline
Local
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 14, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 351
Location: Orlando, FL
Name: Loki

Occupation: wanderer, ragamuffin, theif on occassion

Appearance: See avatar for general idea. Tall and lean, she looks to be in her late teens, but could be anywhere from fifteen to twenty. She's not gorgeous enough to bathe in heavenly light and stand out in a crowd, but she's pretty, and her most redeeming physical quality is the color of her eyes, swirls of grey, blue, and green that have the tendency to shift of their own accord. Dirty blonde hair with sun-bleached highlights, and a few traces of windburn on her cheeks are evidence that she's not the in-door breed.

Personality: Not officially affiliated with any specific cult, though she has friends in all of them. She has a pretty weird sense of humor, and tends to laugh at things that aren't really funny to most people. She's friends with Edward Alexandros and tries to get him to come out of his shell every once in a while - which always turns out to be a lesson in futility. She's not a native to Expatville, but she fits in all the same. She knows just about everyone and everything, and is the source of news from out of town, though she has the tendency to exaggerate occassionally.

_________________
<center><i>Don't touch the pretty, fucker.</i></center>


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 10:51 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 01, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 2885
Location: San Antonio
Name: Clay Allison

Age: 25

Height: 6' 2"

Weight: 220# (100 Kilos)

Description:

Clay is a somewhat maniacal Texan that loves guns and Bourbon Whiskey. He is not a member of any of the major cults, but is often seen allied with Australians, Brits, and at times, the Man in Black. His hobbies include annoying children, verbally abusing pacifists and vegetarians, and hanging out in the "Olde IRC Tavern"

He is Bar Ceritified and has a law degree from the John Wesley Hardin Memorial School of Law, Fortune Telling and Bartending. He has amassed a great deal of occupational skills which he plies with anything but regularity, he is a barber, dentist, surgeon, bartender, barrister, dog catcher (he just shoots 'em), blacksmith, carpenter, animal husbander (not bugger damnitt!), illusionist (bar tricks), tailor, taxedermist, thatcher, theif, thug, assassin, moonshiner, vetrinarian, vicar, smuggler, tanner, woodcarver, sculptor, mason, and many other things that only come to mind when someone reminds him.

He has been apprenticed over and over and otherwise managed to become a good respectable journeyman at something when his attention wandered and he started doing other things, often learning three or four trades at once. This caused no end of consternation until the town realized that one all pupose assistant whatever that wouldn't become a master and move away, that could be called in for skilled help for any job that got busy all of a sudden, was a rare and wonderful thing to have, so, he got the owner of the tavern to put up a shingle with the legend "Clay Allison: Handyman" outside the Tavern and a bell just underneath it. He was almost always in the tavern, but the priest and a few others were too moral to go in so they could stand outside and ring his bell. and wherever he was, unless he was on another job, which he always gave his full attention to, he'd come ambling up to "His Office" and dicker with the fellow about the price until one was settled and go to work. No one kept track exactly, certainly not him, but he made a good bit of money this way since being the supply for almost any demand is steady and interesting work. He also eats mostly free due to payment being rendered in barter, his genial temperment and the fact that a homecooked meal now tended to lower his prices later.

_________________
We used to play for silver, Now we play for life.
One's for sport and one's for blood
At the point of a knife, Now the die is shaken
Now the die must fall,
There ain't a winner in this game
Who don't go home with all, Not with all...


Last edited by Clay_Allison on Sat Jul 26, 2003 3:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 1:38 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2038 9:00 pm
Posts: 3209
Name: Sigmund Nibel.

Age: 23

Occupation: Choirmaster for the Cult of Michael

Appearance: 6'4, 170 lbs, brown eyes, nearly shoulder length black hair. Eyes have what is considered to be a "wild" look in them. He is well dressed as a result of his position.

Personality: While he is a native of Expatville, Nibel spent much of his life at the Kyhm Conservatory learning piano, composition, and conducting. Recently, he joined the Cult of Michael and accepted a position (a very well-paid position, mind you) as its Choirmaster (directs music for buttsex services). He is eccentric to say the least, and though he is paid well, he often spends quite a bit more than he can afford.

(two cookies possible--one for the name (I GAVE IT AWAY. gargh.) and one for who he is based entirely on :p )

_________________
election results: still an op
Let me put it to you this way: I earned capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it. It is my style.


Last edited by Patrick Swayze on Mon Jul 21, 2003 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:26 pm 
Offline
PostWhorePornStar
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 20, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 6793
Location: OI!
Name: Chris Tang

Occupation: Bouncer

Apperance: Chris has a very spit and polish venire. Suit, Tie, with a simple black cowboy hat sitting on a tied back, well groomed head of striking black hair.

Personality: Very professional. He's friendly, but everyone is a tool, to get the job done. Tho this time, he's not sure what the job is....

_________________
No. Antidisestablishmentarianism. Enigma. Muraena. Pundit. Malaise. Clusterfuck. Hootenanny.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:46 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3446
Location: New York
I'm starting the game now, so anyone who hasn't posted up a profile yet can't join until next round... Sorry.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: I'd better do this before someone else takes it ^^
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 11:19 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 06, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 1967
Location: All curled up in a Calabi-Yau space
Name: Waynderfield Ignomious
Age: Unknown
Occupation: Founder, Cult of Unfounded Speculation. Not much else is known about him, although he seems well-to-do and is rumored to dabble in various Unholy black arts, and to have connections with several secret societies. Luckily, Expatville is a town of decidedly low morals, thus he has been able to avoid any complications from the local clergy.
Appearance: A 40ish, dark-complexioned man in a top hat and long black coat. Carries a cane with an elaborate silver handle.
Personality: Completely insane, in a deliberate sort of way.
Status: Currently away on a trip.

_________________
Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.
- Robert Anton Wilson


Last edited by Wandering Idiot on Sat Sep 13, 2003 10:24 am, edited 3 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2003 12:15 pm 
Offline
n00b
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2003 12:11 pm
Posts: 4
Location: DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS
A little orb weaving spider. That is all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2003 1:17 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2001 5:00 pm
Posts: 1470
Location: Belgium
*points at the spider*

Hm, been a while since I got the old initiation muscle working.... I reserve this newcomer.

Now Spider, you made a forgivable, but annoying mistake. Icy DID say he was closing new characters this thing. Not to mention your character is a bit... lacking... I don't mind really, it allows me to have some measures of fun.

_________________
Proud Member of the cult of Godless commie traitors.

Wait, this isn't chewing gum!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2003 2:59 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2001 5:00 pm
Posts: 1470
Location: Belgium
Disclaimer: Some of you may know this, but my initiations ain't exactly PG-13. Be forewarned.


Rand grabs the little orb weaving spider and throws him in the nearby spring.

"Oh sir, you fall into spring of drowned Marine. Very tragic tale of Starcraft marine who drowned 200 years into future."

Rand fishes out Spider, who now has the appearance of a Starcraft marine, complete with machine gun.

"Now... off to your time with you."

...

Private 1st class spider was worried. The fact that he was low on ammo, his whole squad was killed, and he had lost all radio contact might have something to do with that. He cursed his bad luck. His luck seemed to react to that it seemed, as suddenly, a Zerg Queen arose from the horizona and came straight at him. Clearly seeing that hiding and running wasn't gonna help, he prepared to sell his live dearly. The Queen came close, his shooting not piercing the carapace. Just as a beep alerted him to the fact that he was now, in fact, out of ammo and probably also completely fucked, the Queen spit a green substance, pasting him to the ground.

Spider was just thinking of a proper course of action for being eaten by zerglings while youré stuck with no ammo, when he heard something behind him. It was an Overlord. An Overlord that was flying pretty low. An Overlord that seemed to want to eat...

darkness.

He was in a warm and dark place. It was also slightly wet"Hello... this heaven or hell?"No answer came. He settled for leaning against the organic wall. After a while the walls contracted. Before he knew what was happening he was screaming and falling downwards. He landed with disgusting SPLORCH. Under him he felt the slimy creep. He looked up, expecting to be devoured any second now. Instead of the hordes of hungry baby zerglings he had somehow expected, there was a female figure standing above him.

The Queen of Blades

It was clearly a female. The curves on her carapace like armour clearly showed that. What RACE she actually was was hard to tell. Her face had all the parts that a human is supposed to have... problem was that she had more. From her back, claws extended, moving together with the slender arms. Her skin looked soft, but he knew from stories that it was hard to withstand all but the hardest weaponry. Instead of hair, something that looked a lot like snakes was growing on her head. Her hands sported small claws. One of them held a container. She handed it to him.

"Drink it."

"euh... wha?"

"If you don't want me to shove it down your throat little man... you will drink it."

Spider decided that it wasn't like he could resist very well whatever happened, so he complied. The drink taste as he would have expected something the Zerg concocted to taste. Kerrigan smiled.

"Very good. I wanted a human for my new breeding project. You qualify. Take off your armour."

Spider blinked a few times, stunned shock completely averting whichever emotion he otherwise might have felt at such a message. As he apparently waited too long Kerrigan got irritated and as her claws grabbed him, her slender hands ripped the spacesuit off of him, together with all the clothing underneath. Spider gulped a bit at the ease with which she did that. The hands, the very STRONG slender hands now wandered across his body.

"Ah... you remind me of that time I peeked on Jim in the shower... long ago. I'd have preferred this to be with him, but you can't have everythinge eh?" The Spider was now getting rather excited despite the danger he was in. Kerrigan peeled part of the crapace from her chest, revealing breasts that looked almost human, except for the strange purplish colour. Spider reached for them in an impulse and received a moan from Kerrigan in return. She smiled at him, yellow eyes fixating him.

"You're an eager soldier aren't you?" The claws brought him closer to her, smothering his face into her warm but slightly sticky feeling breasts. It seemed she hadn't as much shedded an armour as a second skin. The feeling of new flesh wasn't unpleasant, and fighting back an urge to gag he sucked on the nipples. There were more groans from kerrigan. Then the claws pulled him away again. Kerrigan's face was overwhelmed with lust.

"Oh yes... this has been way too long. Enough of this. Time to get to the point." Spider grinned. She started tugging desperately at the lower part of the carapace. Then it came off. Spider tensed as he looked at the groin. Then he went white.

Kerrigan sported a twelve inch penis. (HANDS UP EVERYBODY WHO SAW THAT COMING)

"Help.... HELP... HEEEEEEELP."

"What's wrong Soldier? Feelinga bit intimidated?" She turned him around and dropped him in the Creep. He landed face first and started to try to get up. Then he realised that the creep wasn't letting him. In fact, the creep in his mouth now prevented him from screaming. He could only whimper as Kerrigan calmly raised his hip so he was on his knees, spread his legs and penetrated, riding the poor Marine like Duke rided goats.

After a LOOONG session, demonstrating Kerrigan's GREATLY enhanced endurance she finally shot her load up Spider's abused rectum. The amount she spilled put all anime to shame, filling up Spider's digestive channel from the rear. When she seemed to have shot enough she retracted, then used her claws to raise the now whimpering Spider upside down and shake him.

"come on... come on... fertilisation already. I wanna be a daddy." the Queen of Blades murmured.

Those last words seemed to register in Spider's mind. "....fertilisation... daddy... but I don't have..." Suddenly he felt something coming alive in his stomach. "That drink..."

As realisation dawned in his eyes, Spider was eaten from the inside by the crawling little monsters. Kerrigan raised the monsters well, and the bravest among them she called Lord Naughtilus.

But that is another tale.

_________________
Proud Member of the cult of Godless commie traitors.

Wait, this isn't chewing gum!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2003 3:48 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 01, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 2885
Location: San Antonio
I added ALOT more detail to Clay's profile if anyone wants to take a look.

_________________
We used to play for silver, Now we play for life.
One's for sport and one's for blood
At the point of a knife, Now the die is shaken
Now the die must fall,
There ain't a winner in this game
Who don't go home with all, Not with all...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2003 11:56 am 
Offline
PostWhorePornStar
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 20, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 6793
Location: OI!
12 inches?....

I think you're giving her a little more credit than she deserves....

-H-Kat

_________________
No. Antidisestablishmentarianism. Enigma. Muraena. Pundit. Malaise. Clusterfuck. Hootenanny.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Here I am
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2003 5:29 pm 
Offline
PostWhorePornStar
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2003 5:00 pm
Posts: 7672
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Well, how much longer until the next game starts up? I would like to get some action here.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 1:50 am 
Offline
Expatriate
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 8:12 am
Posts: 138
Location: hive world 21354
Name: priesty
Age: Unknown
Occupation: unemployed loser.
Appearance: small. wears a long coat to hid the fact his arms are shorter than a normal persons.
Personality: depressed and a litle disturbed in the head developing from child hood events

_________________
DNI'd by Vet Sgt Antenor
"LIFE IS NOT TRIED JUST MERELY SURVIVED IF WE LIVE STANDING OUTSIDE THE FIRE"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 3:46 am 
Offline
Spawn of Kyhm and D
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 4498
Location: Australia
justicar priesty wrote:
Name: priesty
Age: Unknown
Occupation: unemployed loser.
Appearance: small. wears a long coat to hid the fact his arms are shorter than a normal persons.
Personality: depressed and a litle disturbed in the head developing from child hood events


IcyMonkey wrote:
I'm starting the game now, so anyone who hasn't posted up a profile yet can't join until next round... Sorry.


Next time, I suggest actually reading the thread.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 5:07 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 4439
Location: You can't take the sky from me. Since I found Serenity.
Is the game even still going?

_________________
Build a man a fire, warm him for a day,
Set a man on fire, warm him for the rest of his life.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:46 pm 
Offline
PostWhorePornStar
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 20, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 6793
Location: OI!
Um, like, POST PEOPLES!!!!!

_________________
No. Antidisestablishmentarianism. Enigma. Muraena. Pundit. Malaise. Clusterfuck. Hootenanny.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 37 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group