ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2002 11:05 pm 
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Inspired by Rand's initiation of some n00b using our characters to parody the Power Rangers (see "Just got into EX Now and..." in general discussion), I propose a thread dedicated to parodies. Use our forum characters (or other characters) to make fun of tv shows, movies, kid's shows, anime, or whatever. You can MST3K too if you want. I think I would make a rather good MST3K-er myself. *hint hint* :wink: Anyhow, if a bunch of people get into this, we should have a contest to recongnize the person that creates the best parody. Bring forth the ridicule and mockery!


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 12:14 am 
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Heh, sounds fun. What to mock, what to mock..


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 2:11 am 
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How about Megatokyo? Shouldn't be too hard...

P-M

-><-


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 9:41 am 
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Drachen slps into the theatre, b33r and nachos in hand. Sitting down beside Van, he looksaround. "Hmmm...so what crappy movie they forcing us to watch today?"

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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 11:58 am 
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*sare sits next to Van carring his school bag. Then he opens the schoolbag and takes out some popcorn and a gigant size Coke*

I dunno Drachen but I have some tequila and asprin in my schoolbag too just in case this gets too bad...


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 4:32 pm 
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*Van sits patiently waiting in the theater... a b33r in one hand and a bag of peanut butter M&Ms in the other. She smiles when Drachen slips in next to her. Slyly, she reaches over and snatches one of his nachos.*

"Hmm... I'm not sure. I think Chris is supposed to know." she looks around the theater a bit.

"But you're right Sare, this could get ugly."

*Van glances at the b33r in her hand. Nope, definitely not enough to last through this whole thing. She reaches up into hammerspace and grabs her keg (magically clean of Squirrel of DOOM guts) and places it in the seat in front of her.*

"Okay, now I'm ready" Van grins.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 4:40 pm 
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*Slides in and notices that the seats next to Van are taken..*

[silently] "damn"

*Slides to the row behind her, lights his cigar and opens his Bottle of Old Crow*

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Who don't go home with all, Not with all...


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 8:35 pm 
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/Pyro walks in, teleports Sarevock a few seats away, and sits down next to Van with a bucket full of jalepeno poppers and a large bottle of l337 brand b33r.

Well, I guess I'm not allowed to do little hand puppets in the projector light or drink blood out of the actors' skulls, so I'll have to do the next best thing... that is, make fun of it.

Makes sense, since I can't shut up in normal movies anyway.

Being an archmage sure helps with finding seats,

P-M

-><-

(OOC: Sorry about that, Sarevock. Pyro seems to be developing a personality independent of mine.)


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 10:04 pm 
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* Mark walks down the aisle with what seems to be a fairly large thermos in hand. The thermos is drapped in a towel with bits of frost melting and running down the side. *

"What the hell is that?"

"I'm not so certain myself, actually. Well, that's partly true. I can't put a name to it, but my dad taught me about it a few days before I left to college. The idea is to cut up a bunch of fruit, fill a sealable jug with some highly alcoholic beverage, stick the fruit inside and leave it sitting in a fridge or otherwise cold environment a few degrees above freezing. After waiting a night, you roll the jug around for about fifteen minutes. Upon eating the fruit, you won't notice the slightest trace of alcohol. It also gets you really, reeeeally fucked."

* Mark proceeds to run up and down the aisle, rolling the jug down to the opposite end of the theatre and carrying it back up again. *

(OOC) There are peanut butter M&Ms now?!? (/OOC)

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markt18 on 2002-05-29 22:40 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 10:10 pm 
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Drachen swipes a couple m&m's from Van, chuckling as Sarevock is replaced by PM.

"Heya Pyro. When's this shindig supposed to start?"

Drachen digs around in his pockets, mumbling about a remote control. Sighing he looks back up.

"Damn it, I knew I forgot something this morning."

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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2002 10:56 pm 
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*suddenly a very faint voice of someone shouting can be hear from above them all*

Hey PM. You could have just ask, Dammit next time would you mind teleporting me to somewhere else that is not so F#$% away? I mean do you really had to teleport me to the last line of chairs...

*gets up and starts walking down to where the people are, cursing his luck of just being a normal human. When he finally comes down everyone sees he is completely soaked in coke and covered with soaked popcorn*

also PM, whats the big idea of teleporting my coke and popcorn right above my head?...

*takes his school bag*

brb, just going to change...

*leaves the room*


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 2:23 am 
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*Van just shakes her head and shrugs when PM teleports Sarevock out of the seat next to her. She didn't realize that those seats were such prime real estate :smile: Oh well, surival of the fittest and all that.*

"Heya Pyro." Van smiles.

*When Mark walks in and describes what concoction is contained within his thermos, Van breaks into a grin*

"That, my friend, sounds like jungle juice to me! Oh man, you are soo right about the 'fucking you up' part... I know from experience."

*Van makes a mental note to make sure Mark is alright after the movie is over, in case he ingests more than a small amount of that stuff... not stumbling around picking fights with people who have god-like powers or some such. Then, she playfully bats at Drachen's hand as he pilfers a few of her M&Ms. She feels a little bad as Sarevock gets covered in popcorn and Coke.*

(... better offer him a b33r when he gets back, don't wanna piss off the normals too badly.)

[OOC] But of course Mark... and let me tell you, they are the shit. They don't have those up in Canada? [/OOC]


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 4:08 am 
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Sorry for all the people sitting in the theatre, but I had a little idea myself.

Anyway, go to http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0090/0090_01.asp and read it next to this.

In the not too distant future
Methinks it was 2002
There were these online comic artists
like there are so many too
They happily drew away
pleasing perverts and oraky alike
But Jack Chick didn't like them
so his holy fighters made a strike.

Hard: (He IS gonna regret this)

Piro: (Even I don't deserve this!)

Mika: (Jack Chick NO BAKA!)

POOOEEEEE: (Chicks! Where?)

I'll send them fundie chick tratcs
The worst one I came up with (lalalala)
And they'll have to sit and read them all and I'll make them Christian soldiers

And if you're wondering who updates the comic
And other important facts
The r epeat to yourself
*It's just a Mst*
You really should just relax.
For MISTERY COMIC THEATRE 3000

Satelite of Hentai

We are treated to a sight of hard work. 4 generic drawing tables are next to eachother. From all the tables the sound of people at work can be heard.

From behind the first table whispered cursing can be heard, and various photographs with pieces of anatomy are being looked at at various times. From behind the second table some soft snickering can be heard now and then. A sticker of the Baka faerie decorates the back. Between the second table and the third table is a huge stack of manga's, with the occasional one torn in two showing a struggle that went too far. The third table then is full of other drawings, and from behind it comes a loud sigh now and then, often followed by the sound of paper being crumpled. The fourth table is mainly noticeable because it's surounded by chips, soda's and other sweets. From behind it the sound of a female relishing her snacks can be heard.

Next to all tables is also placed a book, that all four people often refer too. Closer inspection reveals that the book is the St. James Bible.

An alarm went off. Hard, Poe, Piro and Mika stopped their working.

Poe (looking up) Fundies calling. For those of you who wonder. We have been kidnapped by Jack T. Chick with the help of TV Jerry (Falwell) and he forces us to draw biblical stories for him, while he takes over our comics. And that alarm means our time for the comics is up.

Piro: What? But I haven't finished yet.

Hard: Fuck them, I'll show them when I'm ready.

Mika: Well... I'm all done. *jumps from her chair cheerfully.*

Poe: (shrugging and taking his drawings.) Well, you know they're gonna play Christian Rap here if we don't come up with the drawings. I'll just go first.

He went into another room with one chair, a fax machine and a large TV screen. It activated and showed the faces of Jack Chick and TV Jerry.

Chick's arch

Chick: Well damned soul. How did your work go.

SOH

Poe: Well it was a bit hard in the beginning but I DID find something I like in it. And I modified it so it'll appeal to a modern day audience. (he puts the drawings one by one in the fax machine)

CA

Chick: Ah, I see you took the legend of Samson. A good choice. I... euhm...

SOH

Poe: Ah yes. I thought that constant superpowers are a bit boring, so I just took a modern concept and applied it to him. (silence) Well yes, I guess that Samson changing into a sailor fuku and becoming a woman is a bit crazy. But people LOVE crazy And perhaps it's unconventional that Delilah seduces him mostly while he is a woman. (silence) And 'In the name of God I shall punish you' Well, if that's not biblical. And that right next to the more modern 'I am Samson, defender of long hair and monotheism' Oh and pay attention to the special attack. It's a tough job making a sparkling attack with a cheekbone but I succeded.

CA:

Chick: I... see. Euhm... where is God in this story? I didn't see him.

SOH:

Poe: Oh, well I cut his lines down a bit, but he's on page 3, at the bottom.

CA:

Chick: .... Jerry. Push the button please.

SOH

Mika, hard and Piro were waiting outside when an airborn Poe flew trough the air, trailing pages.

Poe (getting up): Well, if you want to get in keenspot from keenspace you HAVE to pander to your audience. And a small kitty with a moon on it's head is not THAT bad as a body for a god. Zeus made due with a goose once for crying out loud. Sheesh.

Hard went in next.

CA

Chick: So, what do you have produced SINNER.

SOH

Hard: Hm... well, I've decided I didn't want to follow the storylines so I just made some sketches of a couple of scenes. You fucking enslaved me to do this, so any complaints you can shove up your...

CA

Chick: Yes, yes... now show it.

SOH

Right (faxes the draswings) Well... the first one is Adam and Eve, going forth an multiplying after being banished from Eden, then there's that woman who disguised herself to fuck her own father. That's King David with the girl he got the husband killed. Oh, and that's that city God gave all the women unnatural urges. Lots of work on that one.

CA

Chick: ...

SOH

Hard: And then there's the last one. It's a bit unusual for me really.

CA

Chick: What do you mean. There are no naked women in it.

SOH

Hard: exactly. Look, it's the one titled Soddom before the fall. I don't usually do yaoi mind you, but it IS in the bible.

CA

Chick: G....G.... Jerry.... button.

Outside the room a disgruntled Poe, a nervous Piro and an eating Mika were treated with the sight of Hard being thrown on the floor, followed by his papers. He angrily rose and yelled at the room.

Hard: Hey, I can't help it your fucking bible isn't G-rated. After I get some more paper I'll go after the NT, and there'll be NO concern for canon. I'll draw Maria Magdalena giving Jesus a blowjob while he's on the cross, and I'll paste it ALL over the internet. (turning away) fucking asshole.

(I have ideads already for the art of the others, but they'll come later.)

Hard: WE'VE GOT A CHICK SIGN.

*Everyone sits at their places Piro-Mika-Poe-Hard*

Hard: Okay, bring it.
Poe: This one better has sex in it.
Mika: Poe...
Poe: you're right, I don't wanna see any of HIS women have sex.
Piro: Can you think of anything but sex?
Poe: Don't know, never tried.

>> That Crazy Guy

Hard: (monotone) I'm not crazy. It was the voices in my head that told me to eat that guy's brains. The voices know.

>> When Suzi got AIDS, she learned that God's demand for sexual purity was for her own good.

Poe: Oh yes, Chick Pr0n, finally.
Piro: I thought you didn't want to see his women naked.
Poe: Hey, I haven't seen naked women in ages, I'll make do with this.

>> Craig: "Two weeks from now I'll pick you up at 7.30. Okay Suzy?"

all: ... (look at first picture.)
Poe: on second thought, I suddenly don't want to see sex anymore.
Mika: Poe doesn't want to see sex? That's a first.
Piro: Jeez man, that guy looks like a steretipical cheap pornstar.
Mika: PIRO! How do you know.
Hard: More importantly, where does Chick gets his inspiration?

>> Suzy: Sure Craig

Hard: I can TASTE the 'dumb bitch' taste from just that picture.
Piro: Anyone think she'll 'discover' Christ at the end?
All raise hands
Hard: Dumb idiots, Chick knows his audience.

>> Craig: I'll show you how to be a real party animal

Mika: Oh dear!
Poe: When was this made? The seventies?
Hard: Well, Chick still lives in the Fifties so that would be his idea of 'new stuff'

>> Suzy: //I never dreamed he'd ask me. I can't believe it. Wow, he's so beautiful//

Poe: HIM? BEAUTIFUL? Where does she live? A Texan Retirement home?
Mika: I think I speak for all women when I say that she does not represent us.

>> // I don't want to mess up THIS date. I'll see if I can get some advise from Ms. Damien. I hope she's home. //

Piro: Euh... Is this standard procedure. Gonna have sex, ask advice at old hag?
Mika: I TOLD you, she does not represent us.

>> Suzy: This is news to me Ms. Damien. Can you help me?

Poe: (Miss Damien) Well of course dear, take of your pants.
Mika: POE!
Hard: Now THAT would be an unexpected twist.

>> Miss Damien: listen kid, as long as you have 'safe sex'...

Piro: Why would Miss Damien be sarcastic about safe sex?
Hard: Smile and nod, Piro, smile and nod.

>> You can get away with ANYTHING!

Poe: Examples woman. Be SPECIFIC!
Piro: What is your obsession with getting Chick to write porn.
Poe: He tries to make me a Christian, I try to make him a porn writer.

>> First you get on the pill. I'll give you some. Your date's in two weeks. That's long enough* (at bottom * Careful Suzi. Miss Damien's advise was wrong)

Mika: Why does he tells that in very small print at the bottom while the wrong advice is there normally.
Poe: Why doesn't he tell Suzy how much time she DOES have to wait.
Piro: Why is he talking to his own characters.
Hard: Why is he writing at all?
All: ...
All but Hard: You win.

>> And I'll throw in a few condoms too.

Piro (TV salesman): And if you get laid by an afful Texan WITHIN TWO WEEKS, we throw in a pack of condoms COMPLETELY FREE. We're SO CHEAP, it's AGAINST GOD's LAWS. CALL NOW!
Hard: it's not like she'd have a use for the things anyway.

>> Suzy: It's so good to have somebody I can trust.

Piro: Well she obviously trusts her. She goes to her and they have a chat about sex, but it's still Miss this and Miss that.
Poe: Perhaps she's a sub and Miss Damien is her dom.
Mika: Poe... I have this big hammer with me.
Poe: Bah...

>> This may sound stupid, could VD be a problem?* (* Venereal disease: The word venereal disease comes from Venus, the love Godess. (See Angel of Light, Pg 15, by Chick Publications)

Hard (redneck): well gawdangit. It's them pagans that invented venereal diseases.
Piro: Would a redneck be able to say venereal disease?
Hard: Hey, no riffing the riffers, or punishment will follow.

>>: Miss Damien: Are you kidding?

Piro: yes. HAHAHAHHAHA

[out of inspiration for a moment. ]

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Rand Al'Tor on 2002-05-30 15:04 ]</font>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Rand Al'Tor on 2002-06-07 05:06 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 4:25 am 
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Aw, don't stop now! I'm pissing myself laughing, and i'm not even here yet!

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Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 5:51 am 
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Okay, okay, we go on then.

>> VD is nothing anymore

Mika: Excuse me, but didn't he just say that VD stands for veneral DiseasES. as in plural
Hard: But Miss Damien is an evil whore, and everyone knows that evil whores can't spell. The bible says so.
Poe: Grammatik macht frei.

>> You get a shot of penicilin and it's gone.

Poe: Question, how did that woman SURVIVE for this long?
Hard: The diseases are afraid. She's too damn ugly to get sick.

>> This is the New Age.

Poe: What the hell... She sounds like some epic fantasy now. "And then the New age came upon the land, and sex was free among the peiple, and the dark curse of VD's was defeated"
Piro: Speaking about fantasy, why does she look like a zombie all of a sudden.

>> Science has EVERYTHING under control.

Hard: ah, she's from Umbrella, that explains.

>> Don't worry Pussycat.

Poe: I told you, I told you. She's a friggen dominatrix. Come on, black leather, whips. Ask her to hurt you Suzie ask her to...(WHAM)
Mika: (puts the hammer away) Baka!

>> If it feels good... DO IT.

All: JUST DO IT
Piro: Huh... Nike is also part of the New age and the dread lord's plan to plunge the land in sex.
Poe: Wasn't 'do it' ona record accused of causing a kid to commit suicide.
Piro: So she's telling her to off herself if she enjoys herself with the guy.
Hard: Sounds reasonable.

>> Suzy: Craig's so cute... and real crazy.

Hard: (Craig) I'm not crazy... YOU ARE CRAZY. What... I have to kill all the spiders? Sure... WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA.

>> MMMM, I envy you!

Poe (Miss Damien) Especially I haven't gotten anything in the last two centuries)
Piro: (Miss Damien) Yes, ever since I got that botthe from Umbrella, no more luck for me. Oh BTW, you might wanna check the date on those condoms. When I bought them they were still illegal.

>> Go for it kid, what could possibly go wrong.

Hard: Look kids, subtle foreshadowing.
Mika: Wasn't that on the 'famous last words list?'

>>Saturday 2 a.m.

Poe: What? We don't get to see sex? Well dang.
Mika: Poe!
Piro: Yeah, remember how Craig looks. I'd prefer her having a romp with zombie-dominatrix.
Mika: PIRO! I'm telling seraphim.
Piro: Oh crap.
Hard: What I wonder is what kind of vanity plate is THAT?

>> Craig: Ain't I the greatest Betty?

ALL: GAH!!!
Piro: Ye gods.
Poe: I think I am going to be sick.
Hard: This must never leave this room but, I think I feel a bit queasy too.
Mika: whow, that's impressive.

>> Suzy: My name's Suzy you jerk!

Piro: Oh yeah, he told the wrong name, I didn't even notice that.
Hard: so now she realizes it's a jerk. Even without a closer view of the scene, I KNOW she's a natural blonde.

>> Suzy: He was GROSS.

Mika: Well look who got her braincells together.
Hard: Hmmm, perhaps she meant that after the sex, she ritually consumed him and she didn't like his taste.
Poe (Suzy's mother): Don't eat that, you don't know where it's been.

>> I never want to see him again.

Hard: Then claw out your eyes and sacrifice them to the great Cthulu.
Poe: Dark much Hard?

>> Oh man, I wonder if I'm pregnant?

Piro: Wait a minute. The woman she TRUSTS says she can't get pregnant and now she suddenly starts wondering?
Poe: Hey, with that guy I'm getting afraid of getting pregnant from him.

>> 12 days later.

Poe: Suzie was selling her body on the street for heroin. That is what sex does to you.
Mika: I find that not entirely implausible in this strip.

>> Suzy: I'm not pregnant!

Hard: (with English accent) And there was much rejoicing.
All: (deadpan) yay.

>> WOW, I feel great. I'm safe

Poe: Who's with me that she's not.
All: Aye.
Poe: thought so.

>>: Not quite Suzy. Craig gave you two little surprizes you didn't count on.

ALL: DUNDUN-DUUUUN

>> The first one show up from 2 to twenty days after sexual contact.

Piro: Everyone listen to Doctor Chick. He's got his medical certificate straight from God.

>> Suzy: // why am I burning down here?//

Piro: down here? what is down here? She's Australian
Poe: She means her vagina Piro.
Piro: Do women THINK of 'down here' when theey're thinking about a vagina?
Mika: I TOLD you, she does NOT represent us.
Poe: Okay, cause that's a freaky way to refer to a vagina.
Piro: yes, 'down here' I much prefer vagina really.
Poe: Yes, Vagina is definately good.
Piro: Indeed. Vagina all the way.
Mika: GUYS!
Poe: Wait, just ONE more time to get it out of our sustem.
Mika: .... okay...
Poe and Piro: VAGINAAAAAAAA
Mika: I miss Ghastly.

>> // That looks awful. What did that creep give me?//

Hard: That creep is actually an alien, and while you're not pregnant, little brood is now hatching and eating your flesh.

>> Miss Damien, I gotta talk to you... please."

Poe: (Suzy) Whimper... the slave asks permission to speak mistress.
Mika: Poe...

>> Miss Damien: I'm busy kid! Well come on in, if it won't take too long.

Piro: (Miss Damien) : You better make me climax within 5 minutes or there WILL be spanking.
Mika: Poe is having a BAD influence on you Piro.
Poe: Look who's talking tentacle girl... OW.
Mika (putting away hammer): That was a CUTE tentacle monster. It doesn't count.

>> Suzy: I uh... think I caught something from Craig.

Hard: jeez, she really DOES tell her everything doesn't she. What's the latest status report on your period Suzy?

>> Ms. Damien: Did you pick up a dose of the clap.

Poe: (Suzy) no the shop was closed, sorry.

>> What's clap?

All: 0_0
Piro: This scares me.

>> it's Gonnorhea stupid! Don't you know ANYTHING?

Poe: Well obviously for some reason, you're God to the girld when it coems to sexual matters, so she probably won't know anything you don't tell her.

>> GET OUT, I don't want what you've got.

Poe: So no nubnubnub? Drat.

>> But what'll I do?

Piro: This sounds crazy but... you could go to a doctor?

>> If you're dumb enough to catch it, that's YOUR problem.

Hard: (Suzie) You're just jealous cause you didn't get any for the latest 20 years.
Poe: Hmm, perhaps Chick identifies with Miss Damien.
Piro: Hey, no flaming of the author Poe.
Poe: According to Chick I'm gonna flame anyway so..

>> God know I TRIED to warn you

Mika: Ah, observe how all non-christians are lying, conniving bastards and all christians nice people.
Poe: yawn.

>> Ugh, I've gotta spray the chair you sat on.

Poe (Suzy): I'm sorry I don't please you anymore mistress. It's all my fault. Please hit me. Please hit me.

>> girl: Suzie, you look terrible! Got a problem.

Mika: Enter nice Christian #1

>> Suzy: I'm scared to death. Mom and Dad are gonna kill me.

Hard: (girl) then I advise you to kill them before they kill you.
Poe: Now THAT would make an interesting story.

>> Girl: Can you tell me about it?

Piro (Suzy): Of course, I'm Suzy 'no problem talking about sex with complete strangers' Johnson.

>> Ten minutes later.

Poe: Longer then it took her to CATCH the clap.

>> Girl: Suzie, go see my grandfather. He'll do anything he can to help you. I'll tell him you're coming.

Poe: Hey, I didn't
Mika: POE!!!!
Hard: Little did Suzy know that her friend was actually looking for women suitably desperate and submissive to sell in white slavery. And her grandfather was a slaver.
Piro: Nah, he's a fundie Christian. An easy mistake to make. (OOC: Being a bit mean here, i know)

>> later.

Hard: On a ship to Sudan.

>> Doctor: Susan, I ran the tests and I've got some bad news.

Poe (doctor): You've got to cut down on the booze, lose some weight and... oh yeah, you've got testicular cancer.

>> Suzy: It's Gonnorhea right doctor?

Poe (Doctor): No, testicular cancer. What You deaf AND stupid?

>> Doctor: yes, plus something far worse.

All: DUN-DUN DUUUUN

>> Susan, you are HIV positive.

Mika (Suzy): Positive. That's good right?
Piro (Doctor): Hell, I don't know. I just get my info from Mistress Damien like everybody.

>> Suzy: AIDS? Impossible! Craig wore a condom!

Poe: (Suzy) He had to wear the condom on nose right?

>> Doctor: I'm sorry Susan, you're dying and there is no cure.

Piro: Well he sure is a tactful bugger isn't he?
Poe: (doctor) And all that because you're a slut. But hey, I've got Aids too. Wanna shag?
Mika: (doctor) Now please leave. I have patients that aren't doomed to die soon.




After this you get the long 'evil atheist conspiracy' and 'Jesus saves' monologues that I will not do today.


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 7:53 am 
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Why, too easy? :grin: This is great stuff. I think the guys would be proud of what you've done with their characters.

*UWC enters the theatre and floats above the seats in midair. A huge cathead shadow falls on the screen.*

ALL: DOWN IN FRONT!! (accompanied with the throwing of food)

UWC: Whoops, sorry!
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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Urban Wild Cat on 2002-05-30 21:03 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 11:00 am 
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I used to go to a "Christian School" and the curriculum was FULL of that sort of shit... Starting in 1st grade with cheating on math tests(I only saw those I didn't go to that school that far back) and ending up around there with sex and drugs. We had creative writing assignments about these imaginary assholes. needless to say, my papers wer much more popular with the fellow students than the teachers...

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We used to play for silver, Now we play for life.
One's for sport and one's for blood
At the point of a knife, Now the die is shaken
Now the die must fall,
There ain't a winner in this game
Who don't go home with all, Not with all...


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 1:16 pm 
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Oh, man, this is fucking hilarious. Give me a second and I'll see if I can come up with something for Dark Dungeons.

/Pyro turns to Van

Wanna popper?

P-M

-><-


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 1:34 pm 
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(OOC: Okay, go to <a href="http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp">http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp</a> for this one. The Chick tract idea was just too good to pass up... advance the story or make fun of it as you wish. I'll start it off.)

/The lights dim in the theater...

/Credits roll on the screen: "DARK DUNGEONS, copyright 1984 by Jack T. Chick."

Pyro: Dark Dungeons? Oh, I can't wait to see this one.

"Debbie thought playing Dungeons and Dragons was fun... until it destroyed her friend."

/Silence. Pyro throws a popper at the screen.

"Okay, Wizard. Cast your spell."

"Okay, Dungeon Master, my spell of light blinds the monster."

Pyro: Let's count the mistakes Chick made in those two lines! I see one, two, three, four, five... oh, and Wizard? Dungeon Master? Don't these people have names?

EDIT: 500 posts! W00t!

P-M

-><-

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Pyromancer on 2002-05-30 13:35 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2002 3:43 pm 
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"The thief, Black Leaf did not find the poison trap, and I declare her dead."

Van: Wow they finally gave them a name...

Drachen: Alas poor Black Leaf, i knew her well Horatio...

PM: Did you just quote Shakespeare?

Drachen: Ummm... no, never....

"NO NOT BLACK LEAF, NO NO! I'M GOING TO DIE!"

PM: Promise?

Van: Try to do it quietly.

"Don't make me quit the game! Please don't! Somebody save me! You can't do this!"

"Marcie get out of here. YOU'RE DEAD! You don't exist anymore."

Drachen: *tosses a round of cheese at the screen*

Others: *pass various odd looks at Drach*

Drachen: It goes with the whine..hehehe

Van: *smack* bad pun...

"Debbie, your cleric has reached the 8th level. I think it's time you learn how to <i>really</i> cast spells."

PM: (Dungeon Master) Just follow me into the bedroom...

Van: Didn't we get enough lesbian jokes in the last strip...

UWC: Is there such a thing?

"You mean you're going to teach how to have <i>the real power?</i>"

"Yes, you have the personality for it now."

Drachen: Which is apparently that of a toaster.

Mark: Have I missed the lesbian part yet? *slides into a seat with the jungle juice*

Van: *sigh*

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