ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 6:07 pm

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2002 12:16 am 
Offline
<font color=darkred><b>Lorem Ipsum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3342
Location: ich bin ein Auslander
OOC: i'm guessing the shambler is a D&D monster...never played much D&D, (more a palladium man) so i don't know it's exact abilities...i'll just wing it i guress/OOC

"aauuughh! it's hideous!" madadric screamed, leaping back from the foul creature as all manner of liquids and efluvia exploded from the ragged bullet wounds produced by Drachen's displeasure.

"almost as bad as Rosie O'donnel!" madadric commented as he shoved his left sleeve up past his elbow, revealing a symbol tattooed on th back of his palm and midway up his forearm. "And for making me think of THAT hideous hose-beast, i must deliver thee unto a pain the denizens of the worst hell only visit!"

madadric extended his left arm, the symbol glowed orange/red, as he spoke the phrase "words of dead worlds, gather unto me thy strength: Sachiel!"

the rune blazed into life, leaping from his skin, and forming around it a wide blade of orange-red flame about 60cm long. madadric leapt at the creatur, lopping off any appendage which came close enough, laughing like a maniac that just figured out that potato gems are the testicles of spudmen.

"c'mon, you lot! Drachen and i can't do this alone!"

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2002 2:10 am 
Offline
Native
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 22, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 913
Location: Seattle
OCC: A Shambler is a creature from the Cthulhu mythos actually.

/A youngish man in wide-brimmed hat and a long cloak steps out of the shadows holding a large tome and starts chanting, reading from the tome:

"Bosha, chakra, rovishono, gyrlo, MORVACH!"

/The Shambler screams in agony, shrinks in size and vanishes in a puff of acrid smoke.

"Bloody Shamblers. You kill one another pops up, like cockroaches."

/He continues to mumble to himself as he walks back into the darkness.

OCC: Sorry channeled and old character there...maybe I'll use him again...

_________________
The weekly smitings are only held on Wednesday.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2002 4:20 am 
Offline
Expatriate

Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Sweden
/the_killer_cucumber returns to the chamber

"Oh I see that you manage to... ahem pat the shambler nicely."

/Stares at the poodle on the floor

"Maye next time I should give you soething more fun to play with."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2002 11:57 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 2754
Location: South of the equator
A POODLE?!!

AAAAGH!!

THE HORROR!!!

*flees*

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 6:21 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2001 5:00 pm
Posts: 2444
Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris rifts in

Man. Those things just don't last very long here do they...

I'm gonna have to go for the big guns!

/Chris looks to make sure that his other rift is open and ready

/Chris opens another rift and then jumps through his original one closing it behind him quickly

*A tentacle lashes out from the second rift and almost catches the first rift*

*The poodle's ears pull back and it whimpers as it tries to run away*

*A tentacle catches it and pops it like a ripe melon*

*Suddenly the rest of the body rips the rift to a much larger size and cthulhu comes through the rift*

Cthulhu: Who dares disturb my slumber?

Even I ran like a bitch,
The Sinister Chris

NOTE: Ya might not want to piss him off...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: The Sinister Chris on 2002-06-22 06:47 ]</font>


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 7:01 am 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3730
Location: DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS
*rift in slightly shakey, emancipated white person in a torn up strait jacket, and wearing two hats on top of each other*

Damn...OK, I'M FUCKING TIRED OF GETTING RIFTED IN TO DISMISS MIND BLASTING ELDRITCH HORROR FROM BEYOND!!!

Um...*turns to others*

Can you guys distract him until I complete the dismiss spell?

*takes out large, leather-bound book. Doesn't look like cowhide, though...*

Now where did I put that dismiss spell...? *twitch*....*twitch*...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 8:28 am 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Tue May 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 62
/Olpainless stands in front of Cthulhu, with an eyepatch on my left eye. Mechanism's within the device shift, and a red glow builds up from within.

O: Come on, now surely that insanity thing doesn't work on robotic eyes...

/Olpainless takes a good look at Cthulhu's face, and screams, releasing an optic blast arcing throughout the area, before turning and cowering a corner.

OOC: Guess it DOES affect robotic eyes*


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Olpainless on 2002-06-22 08:31 ]</font>


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 9:58 am 
Offline
<font color=darkred><b>Lorem Ipsum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3342
Location: ich bin ein Auslander
being a runescribe had subjected madadric to many oddities and horrors over the years, but nothing can prepare any of us for "Tooloo, Calamari King."

even staring only at the edges and extremeties of the giant monstrosity, taking in only small parts of it and never the whole panorama, several small, rational sections of madadric's mind detatched themselves and drifted away like thought-smokes.

fighting down the madness with all the willpower he could muster, madadric attempts to assist the sickly individual with the skin-bound book. however, he didn't want to get as close to the Elder God as he had the shambler. Madadric sketched a complex symbol in the air, shouting out an incantation:

"The sand is Dry, slow time to flow like the BLUE VEIN CHEESE!" with this, the rune ignites a sickly blue color, and threads of what we'll all pretend is smoke* rapidly extend toward the terrifying beast, encircling it, and seeming to make it move like poor stop-frame animation: slow and jerky.

"GYUUAAAAGH!" madadric bellowed, as he fell to his knees, clutching at the side of his head and his nose bleeding profusely. "Huh-hurry! i ca-cannot hold it f-for long!" the 'smoke' seems to break apart and dissipate, and the creature begins to slowly regain speed and fluidity...

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 10:26 am 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Tue May 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 62
/Recovering from his earlier encounter, Olpainless draws himself up from the floor, and dusts himself off. Taking care not to look directly at the creature, he walks over to madadric, and holds him steady.

O: Keep on this... I'll try and make him hurt a little.

/Olpainless charges up the eyelaser, and fires off a few quick blasts into the side of Cthulhu, not looking too long at it. The smell of searing flesh fills the area, and Cthulhu turns towards me.

O: Someone else, a little help? You know... any spells of me moving really damn fast could help here...

/Olpainless runs, with Cthulhu following.

O: *panting* at least he's distracted.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 12:25 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3730
Location: DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS
*flips through the book*

Our dark lord, we dismiss you from an audience with us, which was enlightening and worshipful!

We will exalt and appease you into leaving us in peace by citing all of your most-secret names!

For you are most awful and powerful, and the first of these names is Hsalkdalhkjhelkhakhadlkjahd.

For you have 1,000 names, and each is longer than the last. And the second of these names is...

OOC: Not going anywhere for a while? Grap a Snickers. /OOC

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: The Man In Black on 2002-06-22 12:26 ]</font>


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2002 9:48 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 1012
Location: Illinois, US
*disco tutu link appears in a flash of disco-type lights*

Wohoo!

*looks around*

Hrm...this doesn't look like Texas....
Must've warped wrong or something...

*pulls out a map and looks at it*

Now where could I be.......


*Olpainless runs by, paniced*

*looks up and grabs Olpainless's arm*

Hey, could you tell me where I am?

Olpainless: CTHULU'S AFTER ME!
*olpaineless rips free from link's grasp*

...
Cthul-what? Maybe he knows where I am...

*turns around and comes face to face(or whatever it has) with Cthulu*

*Scratches head*
I guess maybe I am in Texas, people keep telling me it was like hell, but I didn't think they meant there were monsters or anything...

Hey! Big monster thingie! Do you know where that Cthul....Cthulwhatsit character is?
I think he might know where I am.

Cthulu: I AM CTHULU, DEVOURER OF...

Oh, so you're Cthul..Cthululu or whatever it is. That's a nasty name. Anyways...

*shows map to the monster*

Do you know where I am?

*Cthulu smacks the map away with a tentacle*

Cthulu: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!

Hey, if you don't know where this place is no need to get all nasty about it.

You sound like you need to relax a bit. You know what you need? You need disco.

*summons a disco ball and disco music begins to play*

*pulls out an extra large 'fro and sticks it on Cthulu*

Hey, you're looking better already, now you need to learn to dance it..

(OOC note: Anyone see animaniacs? That's the kind of character this is... Follows cartoon physics too... Pretty much lives to annoy serious people. And serious monsters.)

_________________
...a figure emerges from the shadows.

"No one says a novel has to be one thing. It can be anything it wants to be, a vaudeville show, the six o'clock news, the mumblings of wild men saddled by demons." -Ishmael Reed


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2002 9:22 am 
Offline
<font color=darkred><b>Lorem Ipsum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3342
Location: ich bin ein Auslander
madadric staggeres to his feet, uplifted by the power of "funkin' disco tunez" he struts over to the be-afro'd RPG legend.

"yo, tutu boy, got one 'o those for me?" madadric strikes an immortal disco pose. "I GOTS TA BOOGEY!" the two humanoids and big tentacle sprouting horror prceed to 'get down' and 'boogey the night away'

"hey -HUH!- name guy -HUH!- how many -HUH!- names you got left? -HUH-HUH!" the three perform a perfectly choreographed spin, finishing by floirishing a finger (or tentacle) in the air, an action acompanied by the sound of a whip-crack.

"Elder -HUH!- gods are not -HUH-HUH!- known for their -HUH!- long attention -HUH!- spans!"

just then, the pumpin' disco tune fades out, and Cthulu comes to it's ...er... senses,(?) flings off the oh-so-attractive afro and resumes it's rampage through the thread.


(i knew it was too good to last... Disco, we miss you!)

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2002 2:40 pm 
Offline
Expatriate

Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Sweden
Damn Chris for raising the stakes! (and spoiling all the fun monster summoning in between)

/Starts flipping pages in a book.

Let's see here.

This is getting me annoyed.

/Starts a new summoning in an undescribable launguage.

/Soon a black sphere is forming across the room from Cthulhu and the faint piping of flutes.

Let's see this universe deal with this. /points towards the black sphere

I doubt that even the great Cthulhu knows how to survive the atomical and mental chaos that is known as outer god and centre of the universe: Azathoth

/The piping of the flutes increases and it's indetinguishable melody which has a maddening effect on everyone around is constantly reaching an everlasting crescendo

Why don't you guys disco? /Ask the bystanders

For myself I don't feel that it's particulary safe here.

/Summons a new shambler who warps him out of the chamber with him.

*On an completely other plane of existance*

I want you to deliver this message to chris:
'Wait with summoning the big guys until the people get cocky!'

/ The shambler fades away and the_killer_cucumber creates a sighting spell through which he watches the following resolution of the fight with cthulhu (Where cthulhu quickly retreats from the oncomming horror and swoops some careless people with him for snacks)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2002 9:01 pm 
Offline
<font color=darkred><b>Lorem Ipsum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 3342
Location: ich bin ein Auslander
"uwwaaa!" the tentacle was cold where it touched madadric's skin, and was crushing the lfe out of him. "Gra...blow...this!" madadric sketched a rune in the air, which glowed light blue.

the glow became brighter, surrounding madadric and the part of the tentacle gripping him. his outline became hard to discern as the light's intensity became brighter, and then wth a resounding "FUCK!" the light, madadric, and half of the tentacle were gone without a trace.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2002 9:21 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 01, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 2885
Location: San Antonio
*the big scottish lord from monty python's Holy Grail comes out*

"No! No! none of that!"

*He hits the Disco ball with a Clayamore and wrecks the sound system, then leaves.*


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2002 6:15 am 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Tue May 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 62
*Olpainless takes up vantage point a couple of miles away, and views the action from afar.

Is that Az... oh fuck.
The fun never stops, does it?

*Olpainless picks up a mobile phone, and dials directory enquiries.*

Can I have the number for Hammerspace Retrieval Services please? I need a copy of 'X842 Optical Unit - Operators Manual' delivering about two miles north of a battle between Elder gods and god knows what the hell else. Yes, yes, I'll pay on delivery.

*Olpainless waits patiently for the manual to arrive, and looks around for the nearest bar to get a b33r.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2002 4:46 pm 
Offline
Expatriate

Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Sweden
/Approaches Olpainless

Might I remark that you surely seem to need that Manual. Since I would gladely remind you that it will never come here.
You see and as you would know would you be the least educated in such matter. Neither of the deities down below are concidered "Elder gods". Cthulhu who's not even really a god, belongs to a group called the great old ones. And Azathoth is, have I told you that he's one of my personal favourites. Belongs to the powerfull outer gods.

OOC: Always the Aristocratic wise ass snob /OOC

Perhaps you would like me to summon an elder god to this location to show you the difference?

/smiles his, always cold and self gratified, smile.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2002 10:09 pm 
Offline
Addict
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 2754
Location: South of the equator
I was under the impression that Azathoth was in fact a metaphor for a nuclear explosion, as radiation is one of the only things that can hurt the elder race.

_________________
UWC: Onion doesn't trust me.

Onion: That's because you're a shifty motherfucker.

UWC: <.<

>.>

<.<

Onion: Fucking precisely you dirty thieving gypsy fuck.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2002 4:37 am 
Offline
Expatriate

Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Sweden
OOC: No Azathoth is an living entity sort of. HE's the embodiment of total chaos, a never ending nuclear one. Thus meaning yes he submits strong radiaton but not in a blast but rather constantly. And well the great old ones can be hurt with other things than radioactivity (Anything that hurts people will work) the problem is that they'll regenerate within 10 minutes or so. (From death and total destruction yes.)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2002 4:50 am 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Tue May 07, 2002 5:00 pm
Posts: 62
/OOC: Sorry, never quite up to scratch with my mythology, and such. OOC/

*A truck drives by, with a kawaii female driver, and pulls up near to Olpainless. She gets out, with a couple of forms. Olpainless fills them in quickly, and then from seemingly nowhere, pulls a huge book out and places it in front of Olpainless. Olpainless hands her a huge wad of cash, and she drives off. The words 'Hammerspace Retrieval Services' are clearly marked on one side of the truck as it drives off into the distance.*

O: Right... *Olpainless flicks through the book, quickly scanning the page titles*.

O: Any chance of a distraction or something while I find what I need?


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 29 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group