ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 5:57 pm 
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n00b

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Location: Royston, B.C.
Well, time well wasted in thing called school. I have been informed of this forum by darkstorm.....It's cleaner then what I expected.
Excellent work Kyhm, Keep it up!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadow on 2001-12-10 16:58 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 6:04 pm 
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Wow, a <b>real</b> n00b! Hehe, anyone up for an initiation? I'll donate my nipple-tazers!

Don't ask.

> Suprisingly clean...

Heh, you have learned <i>nothing</i> my young apprentice. Just wait.

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Darkstorm on 2001-12-10 17:51 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2001 6:53 pm 
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*ahem* Perhaps I should go with my original plan and make a n00bs & initiations forum... :wink:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 6:08 am 
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Do it!

For Great Justice!

However, I think that Kyhm should do the first initiation!

It's your forum, j00 have the honors.

I don't wanna be tha only initiator.

That's no fun.

/Chris opens a rift and puts some sort of device around it

This, *hands it to kyhm* is a portable rift with any torture device imaginable in it.

You can have it as a Forum warming gift.

Merry forum moderating!

And a happy new b33r,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:42 pm 
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Right, thank you Chris, I've got a lot of rage to work off here... *takes the portable rift, rummages around inside*

A ha! *pulls forth the venerable 15" black rubber cock* Perfect! *stands the sex toy on end besides Chris*

Now what else... *kyhm emerges from the rift with a spray can of Viagra. He sprays the dildo, which immediately becomes a 15 foot black rubber cock. He nudges the giant sex toy, which falls on Chris, pinning him to the floor*

Chris: Ow, what the fuck?!

What? There's been a distinct lack of Obscure Reference (TM) props around recently. Besides, think of it as penance for initiating mika... wasn't it good for you?

*kyhm kicks the dildo off Chris, sending it rolling it towards Shadow, then jumps on, running like a champion log-roller, as the 15' cock knocks the n00b down and runs him over. He jumps off and the thing rolls off into the distance*

*kyhm pulls out a giant meat grinder, rolls the flattened n00b up like a carpet, and runs him through the grinder. He then reaches into the rift and pulls out Turkish's dog, setting it before the pile of ground n00b. The dog sniffs at it, barks, and runs off.

Well, damn, I thought he'd eat anything... Have to use something else...

*kyhm rummages further and retrieves a man-sized Elmo suit and a bag of road salt. He pours the salt into the suit, scoops the n00b into it, and shakes vigorously.*

There, I feel much better. Now, where's that dog? *runs off*


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:14 pm 
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Wow, that's like, damn! Glad I wasn't put through that... well done Kyhm, subtle in a very obtruse way.

Shadow, I feel pity for you. That's gotta hurt! Can't help but say, I told you so. I <u>knew</u> that sexarobic toy would get in there somewhere. Think: Pink... no, that's not right. Think... think: raspberry jamification. With added preservitives! Yeah!

::stops the sex toy with one foot::

Well, this might come in handy later (pun intended.) Hey, Angela might like this!

::puts cock in backpack ala Final Fantasy ladder, and slowly inches (cough) away from the thread::

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:21 pm 
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*takes an incredibly long step, snakes out an arm, and snatches Darkstorm by the scruff of the neck.*

Darkstorm: yipe!

*holding Darkstorm by one hand, kyhm rummages around in the toybox Chris gave him. He grins and pulls forth Chris' bunny and a set of handcuffs. He cuffs Darkstorm to the bunny and lets both go. Stepping well clear, he tosses Chris the keys to the cuffs.*

Not that I think you'll need 'em to free the n00b's remains, but the bunny might not like the jewelery...


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:28 pm 
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::Darkstorm looks at the bunny, and grins::

::The Bunny looks at Darkstorm, and bears fangs::

Want some c0ck?

::Bunny severs the chain on the handcuffs, severing Darkstorm's hand in the process::

Bunny: Mrfrufaruf.

Darkstorm: ::Glances at Kyhm:: I agree, eyeball necklaces would truly rock.

::Darkstorm and The Bunny nod to eachother, and advance on Kyhm::

Quote:
The bunny has turned. It is too late to run.


Quote:
It's also too late to get your hand back. Omega-2 save me!


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Darkstorm on 2001-12-11 21:29 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 5:50 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris runs and grabs Bunny by scruff of neck just before it gets a hold of one of kyhm's legs

/Bunny snaps at Chris

/Chris swats Bunny on the nose

NO! That's a bad Killer Rabbit!

Hrm, the possession must be wearing off if a n00b was able to turn you.

*A demonic voice emanates from the rabbit*

Bunny: I am not your slave, weakling.

/Chris looks at the bunny and grins

/Chris opens a rift with his left hand whilst still holding the bunny

/Chris pulls a shotgun out of the rift and points the gun at the Killer Rabbit's face

Here bunny, bite down on the barrel of this carrot.

*BLAM*

*The Killer Rabbit's canalopes (Explodes like a ripe melon around Gallager) and then re-forms*

Bunny: That was uncalled for.

Oh, so your still there.

/Chris sets down the bunny and creates a force field around it

/Chris widens the rift and pulls an old priest and a young priest thru

Do your stuff.

*The Priest attempt to destroy the demon, both of their chests explode*

Hmm, one of those nasty demon are ya?

Bunny: Worse than you think.

/Chris lets the field down and produces two soul blades (blades made specifically for exorcising nasty demons) and proceeds to wave them thru the Killer Rabbit

Bunny: AAAAUUGGGUAAAUOOGHRRAOAAAOOGH!! squeek.

Much better, now, dispose of Darkstorms arms before he does something stupid.

*By this time Darkstorm has stopped advancing on kyhm and began staring slack jawed at the Killer Rabbit and Chris argueing*

Darkstorm: Eep!

/Bunny uses his whirling dirvish ability and Darkstorm's arms vaporize almost instantaniously

Darkstorm: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

There, now, you have just commited a cardinal sin by advancing on your initiator. Your punishment will be great.

/Chris spins in a circle and comes back looking slightly like JTHM

The voices have been telling me to dispatch of you since you got here.

/Chris grabs the n00b by the back of his shirt and attempts to drag him towards the nearest door

*The shirt slips off due to no arms being in it's way*

Dammit!

/Chris grabs the n00b's leg and drags him the rest of the way to the door and slams it shut

*Voices and unpleasant noises are heard from behind the door*

/Chris comes out of the door covered in blood

/Chris snaps his finger and Darkstorm re-spawns next to Chris, Darkstorm is still screaming

Darkstorm: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

/Chris reverts back to normal and slaps Darkstorm

Snap out of it! Now, if you wish to never re-live that again don't attempt to RP against any initiators and doon't fucking TOUCH my Killer Rabbit again.

The bunny is only borrowed by people with my permission, like kyhm.

/Chris leaves the now cowering and crying n00b and approaches kyhm

/Chris points his finger at kyhm

Now, I can't tell you what to do, and you are my friend, so I just ask that you don't punish me for doing my job.

/Chris brings down his finger

That's all I'm asking. Mika was a n00b, and I was nice enough to return her to her original form, and the initiation I did could have been far more harsh, but it wasn't.

Anyways, it was a good initiation none the less.

/Chris shakes kyhm's hand

Good job.

I myself have in fact used references from Lock Stock and Snatch, just not recently.

Darkstorm: You're mean!

Sit down and shut up you big bald fuck!

/Darkstorm sits down and shuts up

That felt good.

Now, I'm off to torture n00bs and get myself a pic for my posts.

Initiations for hire,
The Sinister Chris

P.S: I know that Darkstorm's initiation was a bit morbid, but he did advance on the initiator, it's happened before, but not very often...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 11:04 am 
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*notices the shadow of his avatar is somewhat dininished. Looking up he notices that it is cowering*

OK whats your problem?

SD Bri: I think that rabbit was my brother.

NANI? Baka, you aren't a rabbit you just look like one.

SD Bri: No no no, the possesor, not the possesee

Um, would that be Fred?

SD Bri: No, Fred is the Implementor*. I think that was Greg.

Didn't he die on that job for Lord Naughtius?
OHHhhhh...
Well in any case Chris has him under control, or at least on a short leash.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:30 pm 
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*shakes Chris' hand* Glad you liked it.

Sorry fer hittin' ya, but mika's me friend too, and I wanted to do something, just not too much. I could've stuffed the, ah, erotic exerciser somewhere unpleasant and then sprayed it... :grin:

Hmm... *hands Chris spraycan of Viagra and black rubber cock, which has shrunk back to its original size* please, I think we'd all like to see that in your next initiation...

Edit: fscking spelling... :mad:

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: kyhm on 2001-12-12 11:31 ]</font>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 12:36 am 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-10 16:57, Shadow wrote:
Well, time well wasted in thing called school. I have been informed of this forum by darkstorm.....It's cleaner then what I expected.
Excellent work Kyhm, Keep it up!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadow on 2001-12-10 16:58 ]</font>


I take it english isn't your first language, huh?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 1:25 am 
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Location: R'lyeh
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Since when was I the one being initiated? This was started by Shadow... ::Darkstorm looks around:: Where <i>is</i> Shadow?

::Darkstorm pulls out of a bulging pocket, a Nerf(tm) brick::

Well, folks. I hope you like worms.

::Strange Indian music can be heard in the background, the earth shakes, and this huge blinking sign appears in midair between Darkstorm and Chris:: "NUCLEAR STRIKE"

::Darkstorm tosses the Nuclear Nerf(tm) Brick at Chris, beaning him on the bridge of his nose:: ::Darkstorm looks at his watch, as the brick stays attached to Chris's nose::

Chris: [Dennis Leary]I mean, what the fuck?[/Dennis Leary]

::The brick explodes with 1/2 megaton of nuclear energy.::

::Small number signs appear above everyone's heads/ashes. Darkstorm is in the high thousands, and Chris has an Infinity symbol above him. The remainder of the people actually <i>standing</i> are glowing green, and coughing.::

Darkstorm's Ashes: Well, Chris. You don't have any fingers to snap <b>now</b>, do you?

If I had a face to grin with, I would.
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OhmygodIwenttothissiteanditdidn'tcrashandIwentwheeeeeeee!
Don't hate me cause I'm silly.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Darkstorm on 2001-12-13 00:29 ]</font>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 12:06 pm 
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n00b

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2001 5:00 pm
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Location: Comox, BC, Canada
Quote:
On 2001-12-10 16:57, Shadow wrote:
Well, time well wasted in thing called school. I have been informed of this forum by darkstorm.....It's cleaner then what I expected.
Excellent work Kyhm, Keep it up!


ha ha you can't write...or spell... or form cohearant phrases...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 12:17 pm 
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n00b

Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2001 5:00 pm
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Location: Royston, B.C.
A another NooB. I think the p should be ground up into.....p-soup.
:razz:

Can't wait for kyhm to "welcome" this new noob.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 12:29 pm 
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n00b

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2001 5:00 pm
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Location: Comox, BC, Canada
p-soup, eh? all I can say is bring it on...oh and what's this about me goin' down?? Since when was I the 'little one'? I think that you ,Shadow, were already the one to go down...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: p on 2001-12-13 11:33 ]</font>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 12:44 pm 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-13 11:17, Shadow wrote:
A another NooB. I think the p should be ground up into.....p-soup.

Waaaaaaiiiiit a minute. Why do I get the feeling Darkstorm and/or Shadow are luring unsuspecting n00bs here just to enjoy the initiations?

Maybe I should re-initiate one of them as well as the n00b? :grin:

I've half a mind to deny initiation, consigning this poor p to permanent n00b-hood... Chris probably won't want to take a crack at her, and my half-a-mind won't be up to it 'till I finish my coffee...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: kyhm on 2001-12-13 11:45 ]</font>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 2:21 pm 
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/me grins like a madman, starts to foam, and runs around in circles spraying everybody

Ah ha ha ha ha ahhh.

/me runs screaming into the bar.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 4:11 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
*Everyone watches as ashes from the blast site slowly start blowing around and forming a human shape*

/Chris reforms

What a fuckin rush!

/Chris looks around

Well, I didn't initiate the wrong person, I was aiming for the smart ass n00b that had the audacity to stop someone whilst they were initiating and then not take their own initiation like it was meant to be.

*Chris' arm streches out and clotheslines Darkstorm on his way in to the bar*

/Chris drags the n00b over to him

/Chris ties the n00b down so it won't escape

/Chris takes black rubber cock and makes a slit along it

/Chris then puts whole vial of viagra in slit

This is gonna hurt.

/Chris shoves dildo up Darkstorm's peehole

This is REALLY gonna hurt.

/Chris stomps on Darkstorm's crotch, breaking the vial and runs for cover

*Everyone watches as Darkstorm's crotch erupts in a spray of blood*

/Chris walks over to n00b

That was for the nuke. Don't do it again.

I won't initiate P.

But, kyhm, if you haven't, why don't ya finish initiating Shadow.

For Great b33r,
The Sinister Chris


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2001 5:33 pm 
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Location: Olympus
(I know I am going to regret this)

*Starts walking twordsChris and Kyhm*

*SD Bri's eyes get huge as he realises what his large companion is going to do*

SD Briareos: No way man I am not going with you on this one. Jungle warfare? No Problem, Cyborg Hunting? Easy. Taking out Terrorists, in my sleep, But your are F%#&^ing INSANE if you you go through with this. This is like telling Deunan you slept with someone else, or worse like you forgot to bring FSSD-Sabot rounds on a bug hunt! Didn't you see what happened to that last guy? Fine be that way.

*SD Bri dissapears

(Good, I was getting sick of listening to him complain)

*Puts his rather large arms over the shoulders of Kyhm and Chris*

*Both stare at Briareos with a strained incredulity for being so familiar with them*

While you guys are in the process I figured i might as well get it over with.

If you wouldn't mind giving me a moment, you can do my init whenever you see fit.

*Briareos removes his vest, shirt and trousers revealing his ablative ceramic skin (what did you expect there is a reason he is a cyborg it wasn't out of choice) He hangs his clothing on a peg on the wall with his seburo and keys. Walks back over and takes a knee*

Whenever you are ready.


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