ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2001 7:25 am 
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[OOC] No one stopped Chris from covering me in butter?![/OOC]

*Van awakens by way of the severe shaking that Chris administers. Here senses awaken one by one. Darkness transforms into dim light... the blissful silence of unconiousness turns into the usual bar chatter, as well as...*

"Chris! How could you do that to her?! You know that she's ... oh, Van! You're awake! I'm so sorry that I mentioned liquid bu... I mean, that thing that you don't like hearing about!" the LovelyAngel frantically tries to calm down Van before the $#*% really hits the fan.

"No... not you fault Angel... "Van mumbles, barely coherent. "I'm the one who shouldn't freak out 'bout sumthin' that insignificant..."

*Unfortunately, the rest of Van's senses decide to kick in. More specifically, taste, touch and smell.*

"I had the most horrible ni...whatinthe... hoooly hell!" Van's eyes widen comically as she comes to the slippery realization that she is drenched in the aforementioned unmentionable substance.

"B.b..bu...bu...t ...but.... butter?!" Van stutters, panicking.

*Van looks as though she's on the verge of a breakdown. Meanwhile, the LovelyAngel
uses her mental prowess to search for a way to defuse this potentially damaging situation.*

"Umm, no! Of course it's not." LovelyAngel places a comforting hand on Van's shoulder. Eww, slippery...

"...not b.. bu... butter?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Wh... wha... what is it?!" Van questions.

"Umm, right then... let's see. It's, uh... liquid... margarine! That's it, it's liquid margarine!" the LovelyAngel finishes triumphantly.

Th.. that exists?" Van looks a little wary.

"Heh, what doesn't exist around here!" LovelyAngel finishes with a weak laugh.

"Huh, good point." Van delivers clearly. Oddly enough, she seems to have recovered completely at this point. "Whew, good thing. For a minute there, I thought I was really gonna snap!"

*The LovelyAngel, and everyone else within the general vicinity sweatdrops at this. An groan of disappointment emanates from within the shadows. Hmm, strange.*

"Van?" the LovelyAngel addresses her recently recovered aquaintance.

"Yeah?" Van replies.

"Just drink your b33r..." LovelyAngel says with a look that can be described as somewhat between fond and exasperated.

"Oh, okay!" Van says, then quickly complies.

*Van looks down at herself*

"Geez, I better get cleaned up."

*Van reaches out and searches her clothing sector of hammerspace."

"Damn! No, black tank-tops left! Should've done laundry the other day... " Van mumbles and continues to search. "Ah yes, this'll have to do."

*She pulls out a black collared button-down shirt, black leather pants, and a pair of black and white wing-tips. Clothes in hand, she saunters down to the large unisex bathroom to change.*

[OOC] Sorry about writing in your character so much LovelyAngel! I hope I'm not screwing with your characterization. Chris, you're a naughty boy! I think your need a spanking :wink:

Oh, yeah... does Van look a little too androgynous to you guys in my new pic? The entire picture is in my profile (which is updated by the way http://www.geocities.com/vandehsa/van_profile.html ) I think the wing-tips are my favorite part. [/OOC]

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 1:19 am 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-18 06:25, Van wrote:
[OOC] No one stopped Chris from covering me in butter?![/OOC]

[OOC]
Well... Chris just swooped in and dumped the butter before anyone could blink. I could have done cleanup and retribution... BUT... I thought this was the opportunity for you to rid yourself of the "butter stigma" if it were something you were truly getting tired of. So I waited to see how you would react.
[/OOC]

Quote:
On 2001-12-18 06:25, Van wrote:
[OOC] Sorry about writing in your character so much LovelyAngel! I hope I'm not screwing with your characterization. Chris, you're a naughty boy! I think your need a spanking :wink: [/OOC]

[OOC]
Oh, Van, you wrote me up great! It's wonderful! Thank you! I'll do my best Mika imitation...
"I get cute lines, and I get sweatdrops!" :smile:
[/OOC]

Quote:
On 2001-12-18 06:25, Van wrote:
[OOC]Oh, yeah... does Van look a little too androgynous to you guys in my new pic? The entire picture is in my profile (which is updated by the way http://www.geocities.com/vandehsa/van_profile.html ) I think the wing-tips are my favorite part. [/OOC]

[OOC]
I like your new avatar; it looks great! I think the full picture adds a more androgynous flavor -- possibly because anime/manga gals more frequently seem to have rather short torsos and long legs. A long torso comes across as a bit more "boyish", don't you think? The degree and desirability of androgyny is a matter of personal preference. I myself am neutral (ironically) on the subject.
[/OOC]

-----------------
LovelyAngel
<font size=-1>"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels." (Faith Whittlesey)</font>


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 3:30 am 
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"You know, Van, just for the sake of honesty and not lulling you into a deep coma, that really was bu-"

* CRACK!! An unseen fist connects quite swiftly with Mark's lower jaw, which is now bleeding fairly profusely. *

(speech stifled): "Oww! Who the hell was that?!? I didn't know this was a fight string, but Jesus! I don't suppose this bar has a few dozen truckloads of kleenex I could use, now does it?"

* Trying to impede the blood flow, Mark stumbles his way to the unisex bathroom. *

(OOC) For similar reasons as the last two posts, I'm not going to "say" who happened to crack me across the face. Anyone who wants to take credit for it is free to do so.. (/OOC)

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markt18 on 2001-12-19 02:35 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 4:06 am 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-19 00:19, LovelyAngel wrote:
[OOC]
Well... Chris just swooped in and dumped the butter before anyone could blink. I could have done cleanup and retribution... BUT... I thought this was the opportunity for you to rid yourself of the "butter stigma" if it were something you were truly getting tired of. So I waited to see how you would react.
[/OOC]


That's cool, I was just joking around. It added more to work with in the situation. I decided not to get rid of the "butter stigma" (as you dubbed it). It's rather amusing, and I'm not tired of it yet or anything. I think her character flaws make Van all the more interesting. She already seems to like b33r a liiiitle too much. Besides, being perfect/god-moding is really not all that fun.


Quote:
[OOC]
Oh, Van, you wrote me up great! It's wonderful! Thank you! I'll do my best Mika imitation...
"I get cute lines, and I get sweatdrops!" :smile:
[/OOC]


Heh, thanks Angel! You're free to write me all you want by the way.


Quote:
[OOC]
I like your new avatar; it looks great! I think the full picture adds a more androgynous flavor -- possibly because anime/manga gals more frequently seem to have rather short torsos and long legs. A long torso comes across as a bit more "boyish", don't you think? The degree and desirability of androgyny is a matter of personal preference...


Again, thanks! Hmm, I think you're right about the slightly longer torso adding to the "boyish" look of the pic. I was trying to figure out what it was that made Van look a little more androgynous than I was aiming for. I already made the eyebrows thinner than what I started out with. I wanted to show part of the belt buckle along with the silver jewelry to add a little more color to the pic (since she's wearing so much black). So, I was trying to emphasize that the pants were slung pretty low on the hips. But, due to the arm positioning and cut of the shirt, that was a little tough. I s'pose I could have shaded a little better. Ah, well... I still think it turned out pretty good.

I guess I could do the next pic with Van in something more frilly/tight/revealing to balance her image out. Or, I could just keep her the way she is now and mess around with traditional gender roles. I'm sure wacky anime-esque hijinx would ensue :grin: Van is definitely not a girly-girl, and I was already writing her a tad on the "macho" side... I suppose being a little androgynous looking fits her character.


Quote:
I myself am neutral (ironically) on the subject.
[/OOC]


No one said ya had to be predictable :smile:

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 4:14 am 
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Quote:
* CRACK!! An unseen fist connects quite swiftly with Mark's lower jaw, which is now bleeding fairly profusely. *


*swoons* Oh my, looks as though I have myself a protector :wink:

Quote:
* Trying to impede the blood flow, Mark stumbles his way to the unisex bathroom. *


Heheh, watch it buddy... I'm changing in that bathroom.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 3:20 pm 
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Does the bathroom have more than one stall like in {ack} Ally McBeal? Or just a toilet, and sink?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2001 4:40 pm 
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On 2001-12-19 14:20, Greyeyes wrote:
Does the bathroom have more than one stall like in {ack} Ally McBeal? Or just a toilet, and sink?

Sorry I wasn't more specific... when I said "large unisex restroom" I envisioned more of a multi-stall Ally McBeal type -- as opposed to a single toilet in a cavernous room for the benefit of visiting tentacle monsters or whatever. :wink: I was just trying to set a stage where all sorts of interesting interactions can take place. But I don't have any attachment to any aspect of BB&G -- I'm happy to watch while the place gets remodeled by committee.

Oh... it looks like one large wall in the restroom is being used for graffiti... I can't make out any of the text from here... and I can see crude sketches in manga style here and there -- nothing pr0nographic, fortunately. (I think management comes in every so often and scrubs off anything they deem offensive.)

-----------------
LovelyAngel
<font size=-1>Sort of swamped with holiday preparations right now and unable to spare much time for posting</font>


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 2:36 am 
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*swoons* Oh my, looks as though I have myself a protector

Heh, don't be so presumptuous. I'm certain most of the patrons here have an aptitude for punching n00bs in the face.

Quote:
Heheh, watch it buddy... I'm changing in that bathroom.

Sorry if I was a little too intrusive, I thought you were a rather long-haired guy. :smile:

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markt18 on 2001-12-20 01:40 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 3:21 am 
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On 2001-12-20 01:36, markt18 wrote:

Sorry if I was a little too intrusive, I thought you were a rather long-haired guy. :smile:



Grrr... I hope you just said that to mess with me. Image Look closer, Van has breasts you fool! Damnit, that's it! I'm changing back to my other avatar!

I may be a drunk in this one, but at least you can tell I'm a girl!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 3:41 am 
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Nah, just messing with you, and taking the opportunity to make a pretty vague reference to EN, you know, because it's past 1:00am, I'm bored, and I spent the night "out with the boys" (god, I hate that phrase...), went to a show, drank a fair amount of beer.. but, that's beside the point. You're a great artist, and the fact that Van is female is apparent, judging by the shading of the.. erm.. chest area.. *cough*

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markt18 on 2001-12-20 02:41 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 6:02 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris follows Van in to the Restroom

/Chris burst in and turns a corner to catch Van mid-changing

I've been naughty eh?

When do I get my spanking?

*Big Evil Grin*

I'll leave it at that,
The Sinister Chris

PS: You fill in the rest Van...


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 7:03 am 
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Grey lightly drops back into his stall as Chris burst in. He had seen it all so far, and underneath Van didn't look androgynous at all.
True he could have had Marable set him up in the Porn Studio, but this... this... It means much morewhen you could be beaten to a pulp for it... Now he sat and waited to hear what Van would do to Chris.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 3:25 pm 
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<font size=-1>[OOC]...experimenting with formats suitable for this new forum...[/OOC]</font>

The LovelyAngel has followed Van into the restroom to make sure everything is OK. There are a surprising number of people hanging around in the restroom, and it seems unusually crowded for this time of the evening. Perhaps everyone has drunk too much b33r, and biology is getting its revenge!

<font size = -1>[OOC]
Baka guys! Van is not someone who is going to choose an open area of a unisex restroom to change her clothes! She'll use a stall -- probably one of the oversized ones available for accommodating handicapped customers or larger life forms.
[/OOC]</font>

Consistent with her training, the LovelyAngel rapidly absorbs and analyzes visual and audio information in the room and makes a quick assessment of her environment.

"Oh, Chriiiis..." The LovelyAngel calls out sweetly. "Come over to the graffiti wall, onegai! I want to show you something rather annoying and evil..."

TSC hustles over to stand alongside the LovelyAngel and peers at the rather low spot on the wall where she is pointing.

Chris: "I can't read this $#*%%& handwriting."

LovelyAngel: "Look closer."

Chris bends over a little more, moving his face closer to the wall. In the meantime, the LovelyAngel has materialized a giant, "100t" wooden shamoji* from hammerspace. With a broad, powerful swing, she *SMACKS* Chris's behind with the paddle. The shamoji is so large that it flattens Chris against the graffiti wall like a bug splattered on a windshield. All that is visible are two arms and two legs splayed outward from the giant shamoji.

"Consider yourself spanked." :wink:

The giant shamoji disappears back into hammerspace. Then the layer of colors that is Chris slides off the wall, draining down into a puddle on the floor. With a slight *whooshhfroop* sound, Chris reforms into his normal 3-D self.

Chris: "That wasn't nice, LovelyAngel!"

LovelyAngel: "Well, gee, Chris... you were asking for a spanking! I just thought I'd oblige!"

<font size=-1>*shamoji = the wooden paddle used to serve steamed rice.</font>

----------------
LovelyAngel
<font size=-1>"For every complex problem, there is an answer that is short, simple, and wrong." (H. L. Mencken)</font>

<font size=-1>[Edit: corrected grammatical and character errors]</font>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LovelyAngel on 2001-12-22 02:43 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 5:00 pm 
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Drachen strides up to the door, frowning when he finds he has to check his caster at the door.

"Ah well, I guess everyone's got to, so it aint like they're gonna be armed and shizz."

Checking the pistol, he moves inside the main area, looking around.

"Sweeet. Pool tables. Love me some pool. Wonder if they got a poker table around here someplace."

Walking over to the bar, Drachen grabs a Guinness from the tap, sets up a tab, and wanders over to the pool tables. Well he starts to at least. He notices Van then..covered in...well damn...

"I've seen her freak out from that before. Not a good thing." For a moment it looked as if LovelyAngel had it all in hand. And then some guy he didn't know started to open his trap and ruin it. Almost casually, Drachen connects a quick punch to Mark's jaw, then turns back to the pool tables non-chalantly. Looking for someone to play a good game, sippin the Guinness.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 7:36 pm 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-20 14:25, LovelyAngel wrote:

[OOC]
Baka guys! Van is not someone who is going to choose an open area of a unisex restroom to change her clothes! She'll use a stall -- probably one of the oversized ones available for accommodating handicapped customers or larger life forms.
[/OOC]


Very true. C'mon guys, Van has only had like two drinks tonight! And she's not really into the whole exhibition thing. But since Chris personally requested an answer from me, let's assume that he burst into the stall I was changing in or something...

Quote:
On 2001-12-20 05:02, The Sinister Chris wrote;

/Chris follows Van in to the Restroom

/Chris burst in and turns a corner to catch Van mid-changing

I've been naughty eh?

When do I get my spanking?

*Big Evil Grin*



*Van looks at Chris with a sultry gaze*

"Hmm, I don't know big boy..."

*Never breaking eye contact with Chris, Van tosses her hair back behind her shoulders seductively while running her hands down her body. Then, she quickly tears off her remaining clothes. Unashamed of her nakedness, she places a hand on Chris' chest and backs him up against the cold metal of the bathroom stall. Leaning in close enough to hear his heartbeat, Van whispers sensually into Chris' ear...*

"...how about right after we have mad... passionate... animalistic... hot... sweaty... sex?"

*Then, Van presses against Chris and captures his lips with a soul-searing kiss.*
.
.
.

*...Suddenly, Chris wakes up from his coma. He looks up to see a fully-clothed Van standing over him. Strangely enough, the rings on Van's fingers are a perfect match to the dents embedded in Chris's face. Funny, that...*

"Sorry, Chris... I think you're just gonna have to "spank it" yourself baby."

*With that, Van smirks and steps on Chris' prone form once on her way out the bathroom door.*

Chris says, "Oouuff!"

[OOC] Oh yeah, just in case you didn't catch that... the whole sex scene thing was a dream Chris was having while under a coma induced by Van punching his lights out. Just to clarify of course. *looks innocent* What? :smile:
As for timeline here, you could say that this happened after the LovelyAngel administered her own (equally appropriate) punishment, along a parallel timeline, or whatever you want. [/OOC]

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 10:47 pm 
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* Mark helps TSC up from the restroom floor
while wiping the remainder of blood from his face. *

"Uh, you've got.. yeah, there, you got it. The ring indentations will be there for some time, though."

* Moment of awkward silence. *

"You know, you should try being less assertive. Not to sound misogynistic or anything, but you got your ass kicked by a girl. A particularly buff girl, sure, but one nonetheless."

* Thanks to his inability to say anything else, Mark leaves the room. *

(OOC) Ech, don't know why I waste my time on these pointless posts... (/OOC)

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: markt18 on 2001-12-20 21:48 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2001 11:50 pm 
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*Briareos notices a seemingly mad rush for the facilities and wonders what the hell is going on*

*suddenly there is a loud rucus from the same general vicinity*

Note to self: bring own food. Appearently Ralph is cooking, and everyone must have food poisoning.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2001 4:59 pm 
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*The chatter in the bar proceeds to get louder as more come in, especially after the whole but... margarine thing. A large flood of people rush into the bathroom for whatever unfathomable reason, and a creak is heard at the entrance. The heavy wooden doors swing open, and two figures quietly step in, attempting to remain unnoticed. Well, one figure stepped in, and the other wheeled in, trying to remain unnoticed. Enforcer and the cart tried to stay in the shadows until they could actually enter, as Enforcer continually insists on making his entrance by sneaking up on someone who isn’t looking, and tapping them on the shoulder. The cart merely plays along, trying to be as silent as it can while wheeling into the bar & grill...

Enforcer stops at the ‘No Weapons Allowed’ sign. He frowns. He opens his trenchcoat slightly, removes the sheathed double-edge from his side, and leans it against the wall. He then dips into the front pockets, and takes out the following items: a long-barreled six-shooter, a cross-knife, that staved scimitar he carried around earlier (how the hell’d he fit that in a front pocket?), several CDs used in a trial round of ‘music torture’ of some historical importance (though the event is easily forgotten; songs include The Jackson 5’s ‘Torture’ and Roseanne Barr’s rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner), a few notepads, just as many pens, and a small box of ammunition. He shoves the notepads and pens back into his pockets, leaves all the other stuff there, and proceeds into the bar & grill.

He sneaks behind the counter, and taps the tender on the shoulder.*

“Yo. Your shift’s done.”

“Shift? But I thought-”

“Your shift is OVER, smarty. That’s it, finito, end o’ story. You can go home now.”

“But Bimbo said there aren’t any-”

*The bartender gets cut off as Enforcer puts him in a top headlock, and proceeds to drag him into a back room behind the counter. A few muffled grunts, thwaps, and a single yell of ‘STAY DOWN!’ are heard until the bartender (it do look like ‘im... Hint hint: Or... IS IT?!) comes back out, decked in the generic logo-less cardshark visor, and carrying a semi-used roll of electrical tape, which is quickly dropped and kicked under the bar counter. He smiles, then begins to quietly mutter under his breath.*

“...‘Kay, I can do this, ‘Hi there, I’m Ren. May I take your order?’ No, that’s fast food. *shiver* ‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough for one night, you smashed lil’ weasel?’ Nah. I don’t wanna die just yet. *snicker* ‘Welcome to Bimbo’s Bar ‘n Grill, how may I get you plastered this evening?’ ....Heyyy. That’ll work...”


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2001 9:45 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris dusts himself off

/Chris then breathes in and seems to attempt to breath out through a closed mouth

*POP*

*The Ring indents are gone*

Wow, normally I gotta pay to be treated like that.

*Evil Grin*

/Chris walks out of the restroom and over to the bar

/Chris looks at Enforcer... err... the bartender

Were you the bartender...

Enforcer: Yes.

Wow, I musta really got hit.

Gimme a b33r,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2001 10:38 pm 
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Quote:
On 2001-12-21 15:59, The R. Enforcer wrote:

*The bartender gets cut off as Enforcer puts him in a top headlock, and proceeds to drag him into a back room behind the counter. A few muffled grunts, thwaps, and a single yell of ‘STAY DOWN!’ are heard until the bartender (it do look like ‘im... Hint hint: Or... IS IT?!) comes back out, decked in the generic logo-less cardshark visor, and carrying a semi-used roll of electrical tape, which is quickly dropped and kicked under the bar counter. He smiles, then begins to quietly mutter under his breath.*


[/OOC] Hmmm... at least in my scenes, I was writing the Barkeep as a female. Well, I didn't blatantly specify, but I used descriptions like kawai-ly dressed and had her giggle and such. Other people were writing the bartender as a guy though, so maybe there's more than one working at a time? (They multiplied like the pool tables :smile:)In that case, Enforcer needs to convince the other barkeep that he belongs there or something. Just a thought...[/OOC]


Quote:
On 2001-12-21 20:45, The Sinister Chris wrote:

Wow, normally I gotta pay to be treated like that.

*Evil Grin*



[OOC] You're a sick man Chris *Equally Evil Grin* [/OOC]

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