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My choice for Stoat-Emperor:
Poll ended at Fri May 20, 2005 1:22 am
Idiotus III! 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
Idiotus the Third! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
The grandson of that noble stoat-general, Idiotus the First! 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
I want to make a write-in vote! (It's for Idiotus III!) 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I thought this was supposed to be a secret ballot! ( <.< >.> I wish to *secretly* vote for Idiotus III!) 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
Idiotus! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
EYE-ta-tha-DEE-ta-tha-EYE-ta-tha-OH!-ta-tha-TEE-ta-tha-YOO-ta-tha-ESS, yo!! Evil fascistic oppressors are the BOMB-DIGGITY! 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
I wish to vote for someone other than Idiotus! So, yes, I *would* like to receive a visit from my friendly neighborhood stoat-secret police! 52%  52%  [ 12 ]
The Kitten Shalt Rise Above 22%  22%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 23
Author Message
 Post subject: The Official Election for Stoat-Emperor! (It begins...)
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 1:22 am 
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My fellow stoats, I come to you in a time of crisis. Anti-stoat sentiment is on the rise, our stoat-children are being corrupted by games from the heathen arcane past, pirates and ninjas ravage our lands with their constant battling, and serial-killer stoats run rampant. Not only that, but our young are engaging in licentious debauchery with ferrets. Times such as these demand, nay cry out for a strong leader, with strong solutions, and a perhaps-passable-if-you-don't-look-too-closely civil rights record. That is why I, a humble stoat-citizen, am hereby announcing my candidacy for the position of Stoat-Emperor. My only desire is to serve the wishes of the stoat-people, and as such the question of my inevitable imperial reign shall be decided by a fair, free, and entirely voluntary vote.

So, vote! Your country will thank you! Vote for the best stoat. By which I mean me. If you know what's good for you. And by "good for you", I mean "will not result in being dipped into a vat of boiling oil".

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Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.
- Robert Anton Wilson


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 2:30 am 
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All hail Idiotus III! Save us from horrible miscegenation with nasty ferrets!

Um, just out of stoat-curiosity, though, are we sure there are no ferrets in the Idiotus line? Idiotus II was said to have a very broad bottom^H^H^H^H^H^H mind about these things.

Tamayo of the Stoat Cheka


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 Post subject: Heh... Kind of appropriate for Post #1688
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 3:16 am 
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Down with the bourgeois stoat dictatorship! Death to the capitalist pigscum autocracy of the fascist pretender, Idiotus III! No mercy for sycophants, informants and secret police of Idiotus' despotic regime!

Rise up, all you stoats of the proletariat! Break the shackles of bourgeois oppression! Seize the powers of the state for the working stoats of society and start a new socialist revolution that will sweep the world!


Last edited by Vass on Sun May 15, 2005 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 3:18 am 
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Conkey will destroy Idiotus III, in his own time.

Actor.


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"Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready! " - Santa.
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 3:46 am 
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You know who must lead you brothers.

Evil-Actor.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:52 am 
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You're all figments of my imagination. I shall rule.

-Kitty

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:06 am 
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the dog fucker wrote:
You're all figments of my imagination.

woah.
deja vu.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 12:19 pm 
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No elections are needed.

Emperors are appointed by God.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 2:14 pm 
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I call for a military uprising to overthrow the Emperor! Let all the former general-moderators band together to destroy our Dictator!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 2:33 pm 
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krylex wrote:
No elections are needed.

Emperors are appointed by God.

You heard the man- our stoat-savior Kryst Himself has spoken.

Although it was unneed, as in a stunning turnaround, a recount of the ballot reveals that most of the people who made a non-Idiotus vote in fact did so by mistake, simply from clicking on the wrong option. Some of them were very reluctant to admit their mistake (embarrassed by their lack of democratic-process prowess, no doubt), but the Stoat-secret police were able to wring the truth out of them. Literally, in some cases. Which means I now hold the lead by a whopping...

99%...

*Whispers to a stoat in the background. A moment later, a silenced sniper shot can be heard*

Excuse me, 100% margin. I thank my fellow stoat-citizens for this overwhelming show of support, and henceforth vow that dipping into vats of boiling oil will be kept to an absolute minimum. Unless I need to do otherwise, to pacify certain... disruptive elements...

Note my snazzy new 'stache. It is a symbol of the enduring nature of our great stoat-empire!


EDIT: The old ways are no more, having been swept into the dustbin of history. Long live the Empire!

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Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.
- Robert Anton Wilson


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 4:40 pm 
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krylex wrote:
No elections are needed.

Emperors are appointed by God.

And then stabbed in the back by the Senate. Or thrown down an exhaust shaft. The masses shall rise up, and claim victory with a well placed proton torpedo!

Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 4:41 pm 
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THIS WILL END IN FIRE.

Image

Evil-Actor.

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I WILL EAT YOUR PLANET!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 5:27 pm 
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It might. I don't know. I'm just omnipotent. I'm not omniscient.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 7:13 pm 
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<center>CITIZENS, TO ARMS! YOUR EMPEROR IS A <b>SHOAT</b>!</center>

Our <a href="http://forums.kyhm.com/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=2083">envoys</a> have been intercepted by Agents of the Empire and their <a href="http://forums.kyhm.com/viewtopic.php?t=7635">messages of peace and brotherly (and sisterly) love</a> have been subverted by weasel-words from the mouth of the Imperial Propaganda Machine, but it is never too late for The People to rise up and throw off the yoke of their bourgeois oppressors.

<center>ARM YOURSELVES.
UNITE IN ERMINE BROTHERHOOD.
REFUSE TO OBEY IMPERIAL ORDERS.
DENOUNCE TURN-STOATS WHERE YOU FIND THEM.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!</center>

...

PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS

what I do, I do for the Empire

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Always watching, ever vigilant


Last edited by Thinman on Sun May 15, 2005 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 8:52 pm 
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Thinman wrote:
for(i = 0; i < 31; i++) {
    for(j = 0; j < 15; j++) {
        document.write('PENIS');
    }
    document.write('<BR>')
}

With an argument like that, how could I not join the movement?

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~ In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded. ~
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:32 pm 
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Gwaihir wrote:
Thinman wrote:
for(i = 0; i < 31; i++) {
for(j = 0; j < 15; j++) {
document.write('PENIS');
}
document.write('<BR>')
}

With an argument like that, how could I not join the movement?


Citizen, be assured that The Revolution encompasses ALL bodily members, unlike my <a href="http://www.gaypornblog.com/archives/Aiden-Shaw-horse-cock.jpg">unhealthy phallic obsession</a> or the Imperial Patriarchy.

<center>THE REVOLUTION WELCOMES ALL COMRADES, REGARDLESS OF GENITAL CONFIGURATION</center>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 5:47 am 
*Is smitten mightily by the glorious emperor, in a blaze of impressive special effects, and stoat like... glories.

However, the emperor fails to notice a slight sratch on his elbow as the <strike>rescue</strike> magnificent victory occurs....*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 9:37 am 
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evil-actor wrote:
THIS WILL END IN FIRE.

Evil-Actor.

Join me, <strike>Pretty</strike> Evil-Actor... It is your destiny. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Join me, and I will make you a god. With our combined evil strength, we shall rule the stoativerse!!.


Also, I am your father. I think. Your stoat-mother slept around a lot. To tell the truth there's only about a 1 in 20... no, wait, that Navy ship was in port that week... 1 in 500 chance that we're actually related. But still... EVIL.

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Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.
- Robert Anton Wilson


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 5:40 pm 
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Wandering Idiot wrote:
evil-actor wrote:
THIS WILL END IN FIRE.

Evil-Actor.

Join me, <strike>Pretty</strike> Evil-Actor... It is your destiny. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Join me, and I will make you a god. With our combined evil strength, we shall rule the stoativerse!!.


Also, I am your father. I think. Your stoat-mother slept around a lot. To tell the truth there's only about a 1 in 20... no, wait, that Navy ship was in port that week... 1 in 500 chance that we're actually related. But still... EVIL.


Thats... thats Impossible!

I'm a clone of actor, cursed with facial hair and evil.

/Eats a baby and then kills a group of hot female Star Trek fans.

Evil-Actor.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 7:10 pm 
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female start trek fans are sluts.


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