ZOMBIE FORUMS

Who stole my cheese, and why are we electing an Emperor Stoat?

Why are there furry things on my feet?

Food tastes funny.

WHY ARE THERE STOATS?

UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

Answer the fucking question, bitch!

Magic.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Prove it.

I asked the fucking question!

Because of science.

Without stoats, there could be no comics, and without comics, there could be no happiness, and without happiness, the world would end. Thus, there would be no one to ask the question, "Why are there Stoats?" . . . By asking the question, you provide the your very existence as proof of the answer.

Naturally.

I asked "Why are <i>there</i> Stoats," not "Why are their Stoats."

Your hypothesis is predicated upon a fallacy!

Because you touch yourself?

Stoats are not sticky, they are not white, they do not make a nice creamy sauce. They taste like meat, not babies.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

why stoats? why not?

This is nefarious and bears further investigation.

It's not hard to do that investigation. RMG demanded a "placeholder forum about stoats" in order to keep his own Midlands forum in its middle position. After that, we all discovered that stoats are inconceivably great.

*looks innocent*

This is where I point out that because you like math, your viewpoint is irrelevant and full of fiddly bits.

Hateful lies! Babies are made of meat.

Drawn by the almighty Poe himself.

I doubt that answers any questions, but it just seemed to need a repost.

I am fairly certain this was a recent development. I blame the Emperor.

¡Viva the Revolucion!

Ther reason, Dear Boy, is that there wqas a void left not only in the forum, but in our lives. With the mournful death of Dys, we lost a heart that was pure of sin, a compassionate soul amongst our forums contructed solely of heartless, irreprably evil bastards. This acheing void had to be filled with something, and that something was the humble, but effervessant STOAT.

This is a true blessing, with the taste of fairy floss, and we count it among one of the seven wondors of the internet. Bless our little stoat feets, mor. Frodos. B;ess'em till white stuff comes out and we spreads it on our toast.

Whilst currently your poor, puberty-warped mind is stretched beyond it's fragile limits with this change atom so many traumatic transformations, (usually represented by hair. don't be afraid) and your genitals swell with the evils of sexual desire, you too will in time come to learn to love the purity and innocence of these snuggly, but vicious little creatures. Take them unto your bosom and nurture them as you would your own nose-fruits.


BLESSED BE, BROTHERS.

(the sistahs can burn. filthy witches.)

If you find yourself lacking in Stoat, them you're flawed, and not worthy of our Emperor's love.

Do you want to outside of his love?

-Kitty