ZOMBIE FORUMS

It's a stinking, shambling corpse grotesquely parodying life.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2002 1:29 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
NOTE: Don't bother reading the first two posts, basically Chad, John, and Zag owe me a favor because they fucked up big and I tell them what the favor is. Also, Dark Keenspotter is here...






/Tech#01054 escorts John through the mech facility and through some double doors

*After about two minutes on walking down seemingly endless halls they reach another set of double doors*

*These doors are made from a high quality ebony*

*They both walk through in to a large room with an incredibly large table, at one end is three men, all chatting queitly, about what John cannot here*

Man#1: Please sit down.

/Tech#01054 forces John in to the chair at the far end from the three men

*The only reason that John can here the man is that at every chair is a set of speakers*

*Two men walk up and put their hands on the edge of John's chair*

Man#1: Do make yourself at home. After all you already are in our debt... emencely according to the most recent papers. Would you like something to eat. The food will be free.

John: No...

Man#1: Your loss. Now I understand you destroyed a LOT of property that belongs rightfully to the TSC Corp after we planned to cater free to you and your friends.

John: It wa-

Man#1: SILENCE! You owe TSC Corp over five hundred million dollars. You are in our FUCKING pocket. If I want any lip I'll unzip my fly!

Man#1: Now, we will discuss this further when your friends get here. Until then, I want you to think about what you've done.

*The lights dim*

*There is now only one light on, this light is over John*

Man#1: Well, it would seem that one of your friends is already here.

*A light appears in the center of the table and a cage raises from the table with Spike in it, Spike now has a collar*

John: How did y-

Man#1: We have our ways. Now I suggest against moving to close to the cat. TSC is a nice man, I however am not. The cat has been rigged with high explosives and sedated. Get too close... BOOM!

*John jumps*

Man#1: AH HA HA HA!!!! You're so pathetic. Now, we will hold the cat until we get our money. Until then he will be kept sedated and in our basement, naturally with the collar on. I fucking hate heroics.

*The cage slowly lowers out of sight*

Man#1: Now, when your friends get here you can tell them whatever, but if we don't get our money the cat is merely the first to die.

Man#1: Now tell your friends to hurry up before I personally have them rifted in. And lets just say that when I rift people, they don't come out looking the way they did when they went in...

Don't fuck with him,
The Sinister Chris

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: The Sinister Chris on 2002-02-20 23:13 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2002 9:48 pm 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
*The light in the board room turn on*

Now, i suppose you know who I am?

John: Not a clue.

You can call me Dark Keenspotter. Now, I have a proposition for you. I put the Middle Eastern prince in a new body, and have my facilities repaired at cost to the company and you do me a favor.

/John and somehow, Zag and Spy hears a voice in his head explain everything

Sound like a deal?

John: I smell the fetted puke of your urine spawn!

What?

John: I'll swallow your soul!

Great, we have a clone gone bad...

*John is suddenly strapped down in his chair*

*He begins barking and speaking in tounges*

Someone call the real John, Zag, and Spy.

John: I poop on your face and you eat the chocolate!

No, no I don't.

John: You eat the chocolate!

No.

John: Yes!

No.

John: Yes!

Why am I argueing with a psycho clone.

John: Yesh! Shmamandhamandspamandhamish!

*Dark sigh and puts his hand on his forehead*

John: Hey pretty LADY!!!!!!!!!

*Set of mechanical arms come down and wrap Bad Clone John's mouth in duct tape four times over*

John: .....!!!!

Much better.

Now they better get here before I slip in to one of my moods,
Dark Keenspotter


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2002 4:12 pm 
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*Suddenly a door forms on the wall, it opens, and through the door walks Spy, John, and Zag*
Spy: Whats so important that I have to be drug into here, I was busy with a lady at my place
John: And I was about to take nap
Zag: Me too
/All three look over to see a clone of john bitting thru some duct tape
John: whos this
/by know the clone has gotten through the tape
Clone: im your mamy
John: If you weren't such a sexy bitch I would Kick your ass
John and Spy in unisen: Where sexy bitches
Clone: You are ugly and smell of qeuf burgers
John: whoa calm down
Clone: Loralee is evil
/Sudenly Spy, John, and Zag all pull out 2 desert eagles a peice
All 3: What did you Say
Clone: Loralee is EVI.....
/Before the words can leave its mouth all three of them open fire and dont stop until they leave a little pile of clone on the chair that resembles red sludge
John: No one talks about Mrs. Walter like that
Zag: Yeah
/Spy looks over at the person at the head of the table
Spy: Chris I have a few questions for you
First what hapened to your hair, did you use my jel again
Second tell us who the Fuck that was
And third Why is our Cat on that table with a cloller on it

Normal Is no fun
Spy, John, Zag, and the pile of goo


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2002 6:33 pm 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
First of all, I am not in fact The Sinister Chris.

Second of all, I have my own gel.

Third, who is Mrs. Walter?

Fourth, the cat isn't in here, and if he was he'd be coloring the walls.

Finally, I have a proposition for you.

Your cat and clone have cost this company over six hundred million dollars in damage.

However, I have a way you can repay me.

/Dark walks over to Spy and whispers something in his ear

Sound fair?

Make a deal with the Dark,
The Sinister Chris


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2002 11:44 am 
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Dude PM me what it is because I fucking forgot


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2002 6:54 pm 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
/Dark hands Spy a piece of paper

Here is your contract, don't bother with the fine print its just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that you wouldn't understand.

Spy: So what does the contract say.

Its say that you will do TSC Corp the favor that we talked about earlier.

/Dark points at slots on the paper

I need you to initial here, here, and here, and sign here at the bottom.

/Dark pulls a pen out of his jacket and hands it to Spy

Contract of DOOM,
Dark Keenspotter


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2002 9:10 pm 
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I will sign this on one condition
That I get the cat
He is a vital object to gaining what you aquire
I can use him to get what you desire
I will sign once I have the cat
Or it will be imposible for me to do this deed


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2002 5:10 am 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
Fair enough.

/Dark pushes a button on his chair and the cat rises from the center of the table, still in the force cage, but without the collar

/Dark throws spy a key

That is the key to the cage. You will not open the cage until I close this rift.

Spy: What rift?

*A rift opens next to Spy*

That rift. Now go, people are waiting and your presence is wearing my patience thin...

Out of my sight now,
Dark Keenspotter


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2002 1:47 pm 
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Okay Ill go with the cat
Oh and here you go
/Spy picks up a pen and signs the contract where it is needed
Theres my John Handcock
Now I will be off
/Spy, Zag, and John all step through the rift and are done

Love And Peace
Secret Spy


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2002 5:48 pm 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
/Dark grins

Excellent...

I win either way,
Dark Keenspotter


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2002 12:16 am 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
/Chris walks in from the hall

Hey Dark, did you here that we're fighting Lorenzo?

Dark: I heard something along those lines.

One of my clones is actually getting in on the action.

Dark: I heard about that too.

Is there anything you don't here about before I tell you?

Dark: Not really. I am your Vizier. I'm supposed to find out about things.

Good point. Its kinda funny the fact that he'll now all of the strengths and weaknesses of most of the mechs.

Dark: Indeed. Lorenzo should have paid us faster.

Yes he should have.

Dark: Your brother's friend caused quite a bit of damage earlier.

I heard. I also heard what he's going to do to pay us back. Good idea Dark.

Dark: Why thank you.

/Dark hands Chris the contract that Spy signed

/Dark points at a part in the fine print

/Chris reads where Dark is pointing

Oh you are a sneaky little bastard aren't you?

Dark: Thats why I'm your lawyer, accountant and Grand Vizier.

So we get something either way. I like.

Dark: I thought you would.

Cryptic ain't it,
The Sinister Chris


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:03 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
*Days later*

*Right after the utter destruction of Pullman there is suddenly a LOT of activity*

*The board room is filled with Chris, dozens of TSCs*

*One Chris, in a bathrobe speaks up above the clamour of TSCs talking*

Everybody! Could I get your attention!

*Everyone quiets down*

We have a problem on our hands. Dark Keenspotter will give us a run down of what has happened.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:15 pm 
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Location: The far depths of Chris' Mind
Everyone, it would seem that we have just discovered a problem with the Nano Espers.

It would seem that if you take more than three types in one month, you have a tendancy to go insane.

*All of a sudden the room fills with chatter again*

Please!

*It quiets down again*

Chris#276: How many nano espers types was the 'TREESPEAKER' thread Chris given?

Well... All of them.

Now, before we get out of hand about this, we need to work together to remedy this before he massacres any other cities! We'll send out some of the scientist to try to find where he went when he left Pullman. For now, go back to your threads.

*Almost as one the group disperses through rifts, except for two Chris*

*One of which is the one with the bath robe*

Chris#1: Okay, I'm gonna head back, but I'll need protection.

We already have that taken care of sir. Just go do whatever, you will have protection.

Chris#1: Thanks.

/The Original Chris leaves through a rift

Chris#389: So I'll just stay here then.

Yes.

Chris#389: Okay.

Doom in the board Room,
Dark Keenspotter

PS: Dammit I rhymed again!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dark Keenspotter on 2002-03-05 19:15 ]</font>


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 1:58 pm 
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/Spy walks through the door to the board room
Hey Chris hows it going, Hey Dark i have a few questions for you bud
Did you get that crystal, Chris came and got it from me and i was wondering if he got it to you


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2002 7:38 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
Dark: No, the crystal was handed to a tainted Chris clone.

*A random scientist comes in, hands Dark a piece of paper and runs out*

*Dark begins reading the paper*

Dark: Apparently the Tainted Chris is attempting to collect the crystals.

*Dark reads a bit more*

Dark: And he's doing a rather good job of it too.

/Dark crumples up the paper and throws it in the air, it desintegrates

/Dark turns to Spy

Dark: You might want to do something about this. It was your friend who handed the crystal over.

Dark: For that matter. You haven't brought me a crystal yet. You might want to hurry.

/Dark puts his hand out and the contract from before is there

Dark: As it says in the contract, your apartment and legal right to your leather jackets will belong to TSC Corp if you don't bring us a crystal.

/Spy stands there with his jaw slack

You got bent over,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2002 8:45 am 
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No you did

/Spy opens his hand and there is one of the crystals, sent via pocket mail from Johny,

also my friend didnt hand it over, the Chris took it from me. Oh and i beleive this is mine now

/Spy puts the crystal in Darks hand, grabs the contract, and rips it up.

Everything is final, I got my cat, you got your crystal, everything is fixed up in your building.
Now About this evil Chris, i will need a little help with that, I dont think i can overthrow an evil Chris with my gravity control and a couple puddles of liqued metal.

Help me, Help you, Help me, Help you
Spy


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2002 10:23 pm 
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Location: In your face, foaming at the mouth
*A group of a dozen Shock Troops come in with a scientist*

/Dark hands the scientist the crystal

/Dark turns to Chris

You don't mind going with them do you?

Not at all. I don't want anything happening to the crystal.

/Chris and the scientist leave, escorted by the shock troops

Analyze This,
The Sinister Chris


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2002 6:48 pm 
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/Spy turns to dark

Didnt you hear my last question, what can i do to help.


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