"Right, see you girlfriend." Sergio waved out the client. "And tell your handsome hubbie to come along next time. He's got really soft hairs. They need to be taken care off properly. And be careful. The town is absolutely insane tonight."
His client having left, Sergio started cleaning up his barber's shop, humming 'I will Survive' to himself.
Then the bell rang as someone entered. Sergio turned and smiled. "Good afternoon, welcome to... oh my...."
The figure in front of him was staggering inside. A young man with ripped clothing and bloodcoated hair.
"Oh, you poor darling. Have some nasty thugs roughed you up? COme and .... ack!"
The man suddenly lashed out at him, and Sergio had to jump back. The creature raised his face, and Sergio could see his dead eyes, bloodstained teeth and... open skull.
"My stars..." Sergio said breathless. "STay away... stay away or I'll give you SUCH a whopping." His hand went into the cabinet.
Scissors... no
hairspray... no
styling gel... no
Magnum .44 ...just fabulous.
He pulled out the revolver, held it with two hands and took aim. "Now sugar, this is your last warning."
The zombie advanced
*BANG*
and collapsed with a bullet straight between the eyes.
Sergio took the phone and dialed the police, but nobody replied. A quick check revealed that the TV and radio were out as well.
"Oh fiddlesticks. It's like one of those horrid zombie movies Josh was such a fan of." He walked to the door, putting the open sign on closed. "I can't believe this is really happening. If it was some sexy vampires or something, but no..." He went upstairs.
"But if they think that I'm going to let them mess up my pretty, little barber shop, they don't know Sergio Lancaster."
Ammo, check, rations, check, soap, check Portable barber set, check
"Three nasty preahcers, six thugs and that ghastly Mrs Thompson from nextdoor haven't made me give up."
belt with holster, check boots with spurs, check, three sets of stunning but durable clothes. Check. A fetching neck-scarf, check.
"I better find some others though. I do hope they'll send the military in. I can't resist men in uniform. Ooooh, reminds me."
Condoms in case he got lucky, check. His latest copy of Spartacus in case he didn't. Check.
He left the shop and locked it behind him. The streets were desolate, but Sergio thought he could hear moaning from far away. His blond hair was carefully combed, and his white trousers, purple shirt and blue vest were immaculate. A burgundy scarf completed the look. In his hand he held the powerful revolver.
He was humming 'I will survive' again.
...
Two weeks later Sergio had not met up with any military men yet. In fact, he hadn't met more than a few survivors. It was quite the downer. Fortunately, it seemed most of the looters didn't consider hygeinic products to be a priority, so at least he still looked good. Food was scarce, but on the bright side, he had been trying to lose some weight.
Yawning, he rose from his latest resting place on top of a launderette and prepared for another day of looking for fellow survivors.
_________________ Proud Member of the cult of Godless commie traitors.
Wait, this isn't chewing gum!
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