ZOMBIE FORUMS

Uhhh... yeah... so, it didn't happen. :-\ And I've been kind of sort of completely absent, so I couldn't do an April one justice anymore... sorry. Schoolwork has finally claimed the majority of my time, it seems. I miss you guys.

Many thanks and much <3 to wolf346, who did a lovely piece of procrastinatwhory journalism a while back, thus saving this thread from the dark fate of being completely irrelevant and/or off-topic. I encourage the rest of you to pitch in whenever the spirit moves you, and you see a particularly fitting topic or post that you figure people will want to be able to keep track of.

Even though I'm not putting out an issue tonight, I should share a little something with you all which I've been sitting on for over a month now. I originally intended to include it in the next KFPwpS, but since there's no telling when that will come out, best print this tidbit now.


<center>Letters from Abroad
or
The Pedantic Post whore porn Star</center>

Nice to know you're still alive, man. Keep the great links coming, and happy wandering til we meet again. 8)

That goes for the rest of you, too. Best wishes, and I'll see ya when I see ya....

Whatever happened to this thread?

It died with Yevy.

Want to resurrect it? I doubt he'll mind .. being dead and all.

I do. I do. Maybe I'll collaberate with a couple of individuals. But I must read some first. Because I left and articles were written, and I haven't read everything. So bah. I read now.

You must put in a thingy about Ez and me.

Of course, of course. Do you want to help? I was thinking I'd go on #en soon (once I stop being avoidant and not busy doing other things) and gather the intelligence of everyone to write a couple of articles and start this up again.

Arise, my pretty. Kali~chan, you ever work on this?

It will live once again. All we need is the blood and other fluids from 69 virgin sacrifices. And a few writers that are willing to document the insanity and randomness that goes on around here.

How many time do we have to tell you Wolfie?! We're reformed pagans. We don't sacrifice the whole virgin, just the virginity.

I never said anything about killing. And technically by taking the viginity, doesn't the virgin effectively cease to exist? So I'm still right.

I'd like to think so.
Releasing sexual energy at the climax of everything is the pinnacle of connecting with the Universe through worship and celebration of its creation! I always liked that about the Satanists - live alter women.

I mean, why waste a virgin life? She's never known pleasure. She's never been refined into a tool. It's like destroying the rough rock before you smooth it and place it in a case for the sake of beauty and worship and crystal gazing/healing. It doesn't make sense, and if I were a Goddess - I'd find it rather insulting.

You see, I see sexual energy as pure, nurishing, and healing. It's not a thing that pollutes, corrupts, or scars unless it has been harvested through fear, guilt, cruelty and/or brute force as in the cases of raping someone. And if I were a Goddess and a raped vessel was sacrificed to me, I'd plague the one who raped her and help her soul find peace.

Just saying.

>.>

I just like smiting people.

<center>THE KYHM FORUMS
POST whore porn STAR

**NEWSFLASH**</center>
In startling news coming to hand, the initiation of n00bs seems to have almost completely disappeared. The latest incident involving a n00b was met with a brief flurry of pedantry and overused images. Forum owner, kyhm, declined to comment on the topic of initiations, however stated that the forums were, "there for people to use as they wished." Another leading member of the forums, speaking on condition of anonymity, felt that, "we've lost our testicles, and all testosterone has flown out from us."

Meanwhile, RMG, a noted supporter of the anti-initiation movement declared that, "this day marked the beginning of the end for those who consider that barbaric treatment of n00bs to be a good tradition." When asked about his posting of the "Oh, this is bound to work out well" picture in the thread, the phoneline suddenly went dead, possibly due to a freak thunderstorm.

Whilst these events leave the forums in a tumultuous state of apathy, the US government has weighed in on the debate, claiming that the forums' "inability to maintain order within their own territory could lead to destabilisation within the region and provide a new base of operations for terrorist activities." It is rumoured that the United States will push for the UN to send in troops to maintain order and more effectively police the n00bs and the possible movements of terrorist groups.


*****


In other news, the office of the Kyhm Forums Post whore porn Star denies all accusations of its being late or delayed in getting vital news to its readers. Jethro Q. Walrustitty, head editor of the KFPWPS commented that, "if the fuckers are that desperate, they can go find out for themselves." Mr Walrustitty resigned a few hours later.

I love this thread. Anyone want it stickied again?

Perhaps if it's ever updated regularly.

Hmm... Watch this space.

<center>THE KYHM FORUMS
POST whore porn STAR
Resurrection Edition!</center>

<center>KFPwpS resurrected in a fit of creative boredom</center>
This publication's resurrection began yesterday in a fit of boredom and a desire to poke the forums a bit. It's resurrection was further influenced by wolfie who indirectly challenged that someone update it regularly. So here I am, self-appointed chief editor of KFPWPS.

As per the system in place under the editorialship of Yevvie, anyone can post their own edition of KFPWPS if they wish, I'm just planning on posting editions vaguely similar to those which Yevvie posted. Update schedule will be <strike>fortnightly</strike> <strike>weekly</strike> whenever I decide that I've got enough crap collected together that other people have posted to make an edition.

If people do not wish to make their own edition of KFPWPS, they can send anything they write up to me via that fantastic private messaging thing that the forums do, and I shall include their section in the next edition that I release.

<center>Roleplaying dead for nearly a fortnight</center>
Latest examinations of the Roleplaying forum has releaved that noone has made any posts for nearly a fortnight. The honeymoon period for the much anticipated Roadtrip 2 has definitely worn off and left everyone with a bad case of writer's block. When asked to comment on the lack of life within the forum, roleplaying moderator, Chaos_Descending, declared that, "No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'!"

<center>Attack of n00bs merely intruders from irc</center>
IRC stalwart, Siliconviper, made his grand entry to the forums today with this challenge to the denizens of the forums. Inside sources tell that Siliconviper has been planning this escapade for several months in an attempt to create the most initiationworthy post ever. So far the only responses have been for Sarevock to complain on irc and then lock the thread, and for ptlis to state that it needs more animated gifs. The editor would like to recall everyone's attention to the wall of 1000 laughing Kefkas that Eronarn made to celebrate his 1000th post in that regard. There are unconfirmed rumours that there will be tutorials at a later date on how to create a truly irritating first post.

<center>Spambot fits in from first post</center>
Spambot, livegala, showed that it too knew how to fit into this perverted pit of pedants and postwhores today, when it posted advertising, "Live camera sex shows." Cult of Perversions leader, themadthinker, commented that, "I see no issues if livegala wishes to join our august group. They would merely have to request to join as every other member of our Cult has done." Current Council of Initiations chief headbanger, Chaz declined to comment at this stage on the issue of a spambot possibly being targetted for initiation.

<center>Icymonkey to become international student after all?</center>
In news that brought a sense of deja vu to many forum veterans, forum elder, Icymonkey, once again announced that he would be going overseas as an international student. This time he states that he shall be visiting Germany. The German government has yet to make any official statements regarding an influx of blue simians to the country. Any bets on whether the trip goes ahead can be made at any good betting store that has a pool for who shall succeed the Pope.


<center>Post something picks of the week</center>
Crazy flash game, Nanaca crash, thanks to Ezelek.

Revolutio's insightful discovery on the nature of posts in the Post Something thread.

The origins of shoonra's Pit 'O' Yaoi.

<center>Upcoming news to watch for</center>
Forum creator, kyhm, to finally make it to 1000 posts.

H-Kat to become the third forumite to make 5000 posts.

Forum postwhore, Skjie to return again.

Forum semi-regulars, Tatsu and Gazing Rabbit birthdays, each sharing the 11th of March.

Forum drama, to occur. Wai wai!

Heh, Vass gets a ninja cookie (a tasty, tasty, [yet lethal] <strike>biscuit</strike> ninja cookie). I've been coming by sporadically lately, so this is actually quite useful.

On the RPG front, I'm actually planning on starting one myself. <.< .. >.> [/secret] It probably won't be ready until summer though, due to general laziness/lack of time.

BAM!

Damnnit Son, stop hitting things with your dick. They get all sticky.